Fun with Mary Sue
by jade-fae
Summary: A fun little fourth year adventure with characters inspired by "A Mary Sue Alphabet". Promises to be a rollicking good time.
1. Chapter 1

Once again it is November. Time for a project.

I've been batting around several ideas for this year, big post book or crossover projects but I realized I simply could not give them the attention the ideas deserve. I have plans to write them at some point but for this particular stint I have chosen this.

With characters inspired by "A Mary sue Alphabet" by Irony-chan, a fourth year adventure of a Harry surrounded by overpowered and overzealous women.

Fun with Mary Sue

Daily updates from November 1st to November 30th.

Enjoy! I command it!


	2. Meet the girls pt 1

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter 01 – Meet the girl's pt. 1

…

"So, did you have time to finish your homework this summer?"

Harry chuckled, that would be the first thing Hermione would ask him after several months away from her supervision.

"Ya know, I think I did" he said, "but a big black dog ate it."

The doppelganger next to her giggled even as the one who asked the question gave him a sour look.

"Cheeky boy" she retorted.

"That was great" the other chuckled.

Harry simply smiled, "and how was your summer Helen?"

The doppelganger gave a Cheshire grin, "Oh, all kinds of fun."

Hermione scowled at her 'evil' duplicate, "Oh fun was it?"

"How'd your parents take finding out they now had two daughters?" Harry queried, trying not to snicker.

"They didn't" grumped Hermione, "the temporal anomaly that…" she started lecturing using all the big words she could think of.

"I see" Harry said.

"What are you bloody on about" said Ron, who clearly did not see.

"What she means is, as far as anyone who wasn't part of that little 'time slip' is concerned Helen Granger was born Hermione Grangers twin sister and always has been" clarified Helen.

"You weren't?" asked Ron positively perplexed.

"That's right, you weren't with us on that little misadventure Ron" Harry remembered.

"Geez, leave you all alone for a minute and see what I miss out on" he groused, folding his arms and slouching petulantly into his seat.

Harry just smiled at his friends antics as Helen leaned over to tease and poke him. It was nice to be back. On the train, headed for Hogwarts, all other concerns seemed far away.

"Why do the floors have to be so cold" someone griped.

The odd sound of the voice made him pause a moment, "did anyone else just hear someone complain about how cold the floors are."

"Huh?"

"Nope."

"What are you talking about Harry?"

A voice that only he could hear, he knew what that meant as he leaned forward in his seat and opened the compartment door.

"The floor is not so cold in here" he hissed.

A moment later a small head poked in, followed by a long silver body sliding gracefully across the floor. Ron reacted like most women upon seeing a mouse and jumped up on the seat. Helen snickered while Hermione just shook her head.

"Oh honestly Ron, it's just Serena" she said pulling out a massive tome from her bag and proceeding to ignore everyone.

Harry extended his hand to the three foot silver serpent and she quickly slithered up it, coiling herself around his arm.

"So, how was your summer Serena" Harry hissed.

"It was okay" the silver snake hissed back, "we went to Italy for a couple weeks, the beaches were nice…"

The three non-Snake speakers just stared as the two hissed back and forth. Ron shivered occasionally while Helen watched intently and Hermione pretended she wasn't listening while 'discreetly' looking over the top of her book.

"So, what were you doing slithering around on the floor, you'll get stepped on" Harry hissed.

"I was with Zuli" she hissed back, "I got distracted for a minute and then I found you."

"Which probably means Zuli is wondering where you are" said Harry switching back to English.

Putting two fingers to his lips he gave an odd warbling whistle not unlike you'd hear from certain African birds. A few moments later a black amazon was standing in the doorway.

"Hello Zuli" Harry greeted.

"Hello Harry" she returned flashing him a brilliant smile.

As far as Hogwarts students went Zuli stood out for several reasons, not least of which being she was only fourteen years old yet still topped out at six feet tall. Long and willowy she was easily one of the most athletic people in Gryffindor and was also one of the few in the whole castle who could also talk to the one woman zoo that was Serena in her serpentine form.

"So this is where you slithered off to" she hissed at Serena.

"The floor was cold" Serena hissed back, nuzzling against Harry who simply chuckled.

Zuli simply shook her head but then seemed to notice something, a look of confusion turned quickly to a look of mirth, "Looks like Clementine missed the train again."

Looking out the window Harry had no trouble spotting the aforementioned Clementine. It wasn't many people who chose to fly a broom alongside a moving train after all. Seeing she'd been noticed she started gesticulating while shouting something none of them could hear.

"What does she want?" Hermione thought out loud.

"Probably wants us to open the window so she can come in" said Harry, passing Serena off to Zuli before approaching the window.

"There's no way she can fit through that window" observed Helen.

Harry paid her no mind and simply walked up to the window, threw it open, then gripped the top and bottom and pushed. The opening expanded exponentially as the two ends slid up and down respectively like they had been built to do so from the beginning.

Seeing her opening the flying witch wove out then shot strait in. It was an easy mark to miss given the speed of both moving objects so we can make some assumptions of the skill possessed by the girl as she shot right into the compartment. She came to a somewhat abrupt stop however when she ran into Harry's outstretched arm while her broom simply kept on going right into Zuli's waiting hands.

"Hello Clem, squeezing the last few minutes out of summer are we?" Harry asked as he set his Quidditch rival down.

"It's totally not fair Harry" she complained as she dusted herself off, "I was early, I had all my stuff loaded onto the train, I just stepped out to grab a drink and when I came back the train was already gone."

"Well, at least it's better than last year's excuse" said Zuli handing Clementine her broom.

"Oh come on that was not even my fault, anyone would have made that mistake" she protested.

Before she could go into what mistake anyone would make all attention was drawn to the door once again.

"Hit me baby one more time" she declared.

"Can I really?" asked Zuli who stood in the way of the person singing.

"Ha ha, very funny" the other girl said, "so who's all in here then?" she asked shouldering her way past the much taller girl.

"Madysonne" identified Harry.

"Harry, was up" the obviously American girl greeted before noticing, "Clem, I've been looking all over for you."

"Hey Mady" the flying witch replied.

"Miss the train again" the American witch guessed.

"It wasn't my fault" the other girl instantly protested.

"Yeah yeah fine fine whatever" Madysonne said hooking her arm around the other witch, "I already staked out our compartment, the others are waiting, come on."

"Bye Harry, see you at Hogwart..." she said as she was dragged from the compartment by the pushy American girl.

"I believe we'll be going too" said Zuli once the other two were out of earshot, "We'll see you at school Harry."

Harry gave a wave as the girl and snake left. Serena hissed something that made him chuckle and then they were gone.

"What'd she say?" Hermione insisted.

"Inside joke" Harry said, returning to his seat, "You wouldn't get it."

Hermione just harrumphed at the insinuation that 'she' wouldn't get something which in turn made Helen snicker which in turn made Hermione scowl harder.

"Blimey it's good those two aren't in the same house" Ron whispered to Harry.

Harry simply nodded, knowing better than to voice his opinion within earshot or more importantly, firing range.

"So, guess the rest of the trip aughta be pretty quiet now" said Ron trying to make conversation.

"I don't know, we haven't seen Malfoy yet, I'm sure he'll be around before too long" said Harry.

"Oh yeah" said Ron as though just remembering something especially sour.

Harry just chuckled to himself. It was good to be heading back to Hogwarts. Even if the people there were all bloody nutters.


	3. Meet the girls pt 2

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter 02 – Meet the girl's pt. 2

…

"Seriously Harry, I can't believe ya didn't tell me" Ron complained as he hopped off the train.

"Honestly mate, I thought you knew, your dad working for the ministry and all" replied Harry as he followed his ginger friend off the train.

"Well how'd you hear about it?"

"Just something I heard from a bloke I met when I was up in Lock Ness" said Harry.

"What were you doing there?"

"Just helping someone out with a kelpie problem" said Harry vaguely.

"Is that why you didn't wanna come to the world cup with us" Ron groused, the subject clearly still sore.

"No, it wasn't just that" Harry hedged.

"Well, it's too bad you didn't come" said Helen, joining the two boys, "the after party was a riot."

"So I heard" which he had, though well after the fact.

"Yeah, my brother Charlie got in a lot a trouble when someone swiped his wand and cast the dark mark" said Ron accusingly.

"And how exactly is that my fault?" Harry countered.

"It's not" Hermione interrupted, "Ron's just a little sensitive about it right now, that's all."

"Am not sensitive" Ron grumbled childishly under his breath.

"Come on, the carriages are waiting" she said, shooing them all toward the thestral drawn carriages.

Harry made to follow then stopped, alerted by a slight tingle on the edge of his senses.

"Harry, you coming?" Helen asked when she noticed he wasn't following.

"Hmm, yeah" he said absently making to follow her.

From behind one of the coaches a pair of eyes peeked out to watch the handsome Gryffindor walk away.

"What was that about?" Helen queried.

"Someone was watching me" he said simply.

"I should think you'd be used to that by now" she said.

He shrugged, "you'd think" he said noncommittally.

Truth was he would likely never get used to the staring and the gawking but that wasn't what had caught his attention. It was that sharp sense of being watched, generally by someone who didn't want you to know they were watching you that he had been referring to. Not that he expected Helen to understand that any more than he would have expected Hermione to, or even Ron for that matter.

His sense of awareness was keener than most people and it was his by right. You didn't get to live as long as he had around the overpowered crazy's he seemed to associate with without learning to be acutely aware of your surroundings. It was that awareness that alerted him to the presence of yet another of said overpowered crazy's.

"Furiko" he called out.

The lovely long haired girl in the dowdy Hogwarts robes turned at the sound of her name. Sighting the one who had called it she smiled.

"Harry" she said calmly waiting as he and Helen approached her.

"How was your summer?"

"Oh nothing out of the ordinary" she said with an impish wink.

Harry laughed. Ordinary for them was not ordinary for most people.

"By the way, have you seen Rhiannon, she scampered off when the train stopped and I haven't seen her since."

"Hmm" mused Harry as the hairs on the back of his neck began to stand up, "she should be joining us in three, two …" he counted off.

"Banzai!" came the excited shouted just before a fast moving weight of excited girl landed on Harry's back.

Furiko shook her head while Helen gave an 'oh honestly' roll of her eyes.

"Hello… Rhiannon" Harry grunted as he adjusted to the weight on his back.

"Hi Harry" she chirped happily as she clung to her favorite thing to hang from.

Rhiannon was an interesting case even among the inhabitants of Hogwarts. Raised by wolves, or so she claimed, she was a bouncing ball of energy while at the same time possessing the grace and poise of a well-trained princess. Perhaps that's simply how all she wolves behaved. Though that certainly didn't explain the girls surprising density.

"Were you planning to hang from Harry all evening" Furiko tittered.

"Maybe" was the comeback.

"I don't think so" said Harry, reaching over his shoulder, grabbing the giggling girl and flinging her over his head.

Despite the startled yelp she landed on feline feet.

"Naughty Harry" she chided, "what if I fall and hurt myself."

"That'll be the day" Harry scoffed, "I've seen cats that weren't so graceful."

Rhiannon gave a quick twirl followed by an elegant curtsy, "oh thank yee milord."

Everyone laughed at that.

"You are such a ham" Harry teased giving her a quick kiss on the nose.

"Yeah, well" she said as her cheeks turned into cherry's.

"Alright enough of that" Furiko intervened, "if we don't get to the carriages soon we'll be the last ones to the castle."

"Race ya" cried Rhiannon and like a shot she was off.

The three remaining watched the dust cloud and shook their heads.

"That girl has way too much energy" said Helen.

"You should try being her roommate" said Furiko.

"Come on, we make her wait too long she might come back" quipped Harry.

…

"Geez what took you so long" Rhiannon griped, "I was about ready to come back for you."

"We got lost" snarked Helen.

Harry ignored the byplay in favor of the other person in the carriage, "Tut tut, it looks like rain" he said to the dark haired girl with the umbrella.

"Does it now" she said with a sweet smile, "I don't remember cats and dogs being in the forecast."

Harry chuckled, "Or perhaps some flying haddock."

"It was only the once" she said with a blush.

Harry just smiled, "Hello Heather how was your summer."

"Fair to partly cloudy" she replied, "with a high chance of being bored out of my mind."

"That good huh" he said with a laugh.

"I am so glad to be back at Hogwarts" she said.

"Me too" someone else interjected.

"Naoko" identified Furiko.

"Meow!"

"And Orion" said Harry, who quickly found the aforementioned feline walking across his shoulders.

"I didn't see you on the train Naoko?" queried Furiko.

"Sorry, we were all over the place" said the young Japanese girl to the other Japanese girl.

"Really, doing what?" asked Harry as he absently scratched Orion behind the ear just the way he liked.

"Oh you know, stuff" she said with a weak laugh.

"Wow, could you be more vague?" asked Rhiannon.

Looking like she was considering the question Harry decided to interject, "perhaps we continue this discussion on our way to the castle" he said, gesturing to the carriage.

Flashing him a grateful smile the young Asian girl hopped into the carriage followed by Harry a moment later, still with a cat on his shoulders. Squeezing in between Heather and Rhiannon, who eyed the cat suspiciously, the carriage had just begun to move when…

"Hold the carriage!"

A petite blonde girl in Ravenclaw colors with a stylish pair of glasses came running up, jumping onto the side of the carriage and dragging herself in.

"Geez, dramatic much" quipped Helen, given the carriage had barely started moving.

The girl seemed to ignore her as she dusted herself off, "well, that was a narrow escape" she said.

Before anyone could ask what she was supposedly escaping there was a loud boom and a mushroom cloud rose up into the sky from where the train station was… had been.

"Kimberly" Harry said in annoyance.

This had the effect of drawing the girl's attention.

"Mr. Guinea Pig" she squealed, plopping down into his lap just narrowly avoiding sitting on the cat that had already been there, "I missed you this summer" she said snuggling up to him.

"I bet" he said, knowing exactly what she had missed.

"It's true, the local talent just doesn't have the fortitude needed for my experiments" she said, absently tracing circles in his chest as she nuzzled his neck.

"You mean the fortitude to survive your experiments" he corrected.

"Meh, details" she said with a dismissive wave.

Harry just sighed, looking around at the other occupants of the carriage glaring at his lap lander. It was going to be a long carriage ride.

…

"Oh come on, please?"

"I said no, and I meant no" he stated firmly.

"You're being incredibly unreasonable about this" she pouted.

"Kimberly, I've allowed you to do a great many things to me in the past, things no man in his right mind would ever do" and he paused to give a hard stare for emphasis, "but I will not do that."

"Oh really now it's not that big a deal."

And he was officially done dealing with Kimberly.

"Waaaaaah! Ouch."

The others didn't even spare her a glance, sitting on the ground where she'd landed, as they exited the carriage in a more reasonable manner.

"Oh come on… Harry… I didn't mean it… well poop!"

"That girl" Harry grumbled to himself.

He'd been on the worse end of more than a few of her crackpot ideas but this, eeeewwww! Some things were just not right.

He would have likely continued pondering this in not for an abrupt interruption.

"Aaaaaaah, guuuuuh, Peeeeeeeves."

Following the mad cackling it only took him a moment to find a soaking when girl cursing at the insufferable poltergeist who appeared to have acquired a large number of water balloons somehow.

"I swear Peeves, when I get my hands on you…"

"Hands on me, no no no, can't touch me, don't think so" the poltergeist chanted merrily.

"I think you underestimate her Peeves" said Harry.

"Who's that I spy, naughty Potty, is Peevesy's lucky day" the specter cried, elated.

"I wouldn't bet on that" said Harry, casually drawing his wand from his pocket and pointing it at the poltergeist, "Get lost Peeves."

"Naughty Potty wants to ruin all Peevesy's fun" the malicious spirit cried sourly.

"I'll ruin a lot more than that and you damn well know I can" said Harry, the tip of his wand glowing a vicious red, "Shove off poltergeist, now!"

Peeves circled a few times as though he were thinking about disobeying but the moment Harry's wand moved he shot through the nearest wall and vanished. There were only two entities that Peeves listened to reliably, The Bloody Baron and Harry, even Dumbledore had no real control over the poltergeist.

"Pest" muttered Harry, slipping his wand back into his pocket.

"Um, Harry."

Turning his attention to the dripping girl he finally realized who it was, "Xanthe, you look a little damp."

"Yeah" she said dejectedly, making Harry feel bad.

"Hey don't worry, it's just water" Harry tried to console.

"Yes, but, *sniffle* I didn't want you to see me like this, looking like a drown rat" she said on the verge of tears.

"Hey it's no big deal" he said tilting her head up to look at him, "I know how cute you are."

If given time to watch he would have seen how her brain seized up at his words as her head slowly turned into a very ripe tomato. Fortunately for her Harry was once again accosted from behind.

"Harry" someone squealed and proceeded to measure his chest with her arms.

"Hmm, too long for Serena" said Harry as he examined the thing pale arms, "Wrong height for Zuli, not enough pressure for Rhiannon, hmm, must be Elwen."

Being released he turned around to find the little pixie faced girl beaming at him with all her might. Without preamble the slim wisp of a girl had her arms around him again and her cheek rubbing affectionately against his.

"Hello Elwen how was your summer?"

"Disappointing" she said, "things are much better now though" she continued, giving any extra squeeze so he knew exactly why that was.

"I'm glad" he said.

Elwen was an interesting case among interesting cases. Lovely and fair in a way human girls would kill to be, the hat she wore over her long golden hair that covered most of her ears was not simply a fashion statement but served to hide the one feature that would have truly marked her as inhuman.

"What happened to her?" the lovely girl asked upon spotting Xanthe, still stuck in a mental freeze.

"Peeves" Harry replied without ever looking back at her.

"You poor thing" said Elwen finally releasing her hold on Harry, "come on, well get you fixed right up" she said and pulled the unresisting insensate girl into the castle and out of sight.

Harry sighed in relief. He'd gotten used to having girls hanging off of him but not usually so many in such a short span of time. It was wearing him out. Giving a quick glance around to make sure Peeves hadn't come back he strolled into the castle only to be greeted by a girlish scream. Normally such a sound would have sent him running to find its source.

Fortunately he didn't have to go far.

Lying on the ground with a sharp looking heel crushing his family jewels was Draco Malfoy. The girl whose heel was doing the crushing was Isolda, someone Harry was very familiar with. Standing off to one side were Draco's usual bookends and off to the other were two of only three people in Slytherin he ever went out of his way to talk to.

"Good Evening Ophelia" he said walking up to them and greeting the gloomy gothic looking one.

"Oh, Harry, good evening" she replied surprised, her pale cheeks pinking ever so slightly under her makeup.

"Lorraina" he said turning to the other more regal looking one.

"Harry" she said offering her hand.

"Charmed as always" he said giving it a courtly kiss which made her giggle.

"Oh really Mr. Potter you do go on."

Harry smiled, despite her composure and tendency toward overly flashy and expensive jewelry, Lorraina was really very amicable, for a Slytherin at any rate.

"So, what brought this on?" he asked gesturing to the emasculation of House Malfoy.

"I'm not really sure" she admitted, "I usually tune out when he starts talking so I don't know what he said that upset her."

"Something about the dark lord giving her to him once he returned and teaching her her place and some such nonsense" said Ophelia, her look growing darker and more depressed the longer she spoke.

"The dark lords return, sounds like a movie" Harry quipped, trying to lighten the mood.

"Harry, I…" she tried to say.

"Ophelia!" he interrupted, causing her to look up, startled.

"I know" he said gently, taking her hand and giving it a gentle kiss, "Whatever happens, he won't have you, I promise."

"Who won't have who?"

Ophelia took back her hand looking terribly embarrassed as Harry turned his attention to Isolda, "finished abusing the idiot I see."

"Well its only fun for so long before it becomes a chore" she said with a shrug before arrogantly brushing past him, "come along girls."

"What that's it, not even a hello Harry, nice to see you Harry" the boy complained.

"I'm evil, go figure" she shouted back as she continued walking away.

"Being evil is no excuse for being rude" he called after her, "honestly what that girl needs is a good spanking, though I wonder if she might not enjoy it."

Pondering this idea he completely ignored the mewling Malfoy as he lay on the ground curled up in the fetal position and headed for the great hall.

At last seeing the doors come into sight he quickened his pace, eager to sit down for a while. So focused on his destination he failed to notice someone else who was paying even less attention to their surroundings than he was till…

*Oof* *Crash*

"Oh my god, I am so sorry I… Oh, good evening Yarrow" he said when he realized who it was.

The frizzy haired bespectacled girl took a moment to register who was speaking to her before smiling, "Harry, I didn't see you there."

"Well, that must be really embarrassing for you" he joked, offering her a hand up.

She gave a weak laugh at the little joke about her powers, "Yeah, Oh" she said, kneeling down to retrieve her book.

"Ya know if you didn't try to walk and read at the same time this sort of thing wouldn't happen" said Harry.

"But then how would I bump into you" she said with an impish grin before standing up on her toes to give him a quick peck on the nose, " 'see' you later Harry".

Harry watched her walk away, admiring the very intentional swing of her hips. She'd filled out some over the summer he mused. To be fair, so had he.

But, that was then, and now he was back at Hogwarts, he thought as he took his seat next to Ron and Hermione just as they led the new first year students in.

What wondrous adventures awaited him? What magnificent magic's might he get to learn? How many times would someone or something try to kill him?

For these answers and more be back here tomorrow. Same Bat time, same Bat place.


	4. Establishing dynamics

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter 03 – Establishing Dynamics

…

"Come one step closer and she's finished!"

"Please help me."

"You fiend."

It was a classic standoff. Helpless maiden held by evil monster thing staring down warrior of love and justice. The next move might well be someone's last, but who's would it be. The Youma wasn't about to let go of its human shield, the human shield hadn't the strength to break free and the Sailor Scout couldn't risk hurting the human shield. It was a deadlock, something had to move or they'd be there all day.

"May I interject?"

Then something did.

In a rush of movement almost too quick to see positions were rapidly changed and once things had settled the Youma now stood alone while the human shield was being carried princess style by a masked gentleman in a smashing suit and bowler hat while the Sailor Scout stood nearby looking love struck.

"Masked Gentlemen" the human shield whispered reverently.

"Hello Susan, staying out of trouble I see" he quipped causing the Hufflepuff girl to blush.

"Who the hell are you" demanded the Youma.

"Me? Just a gentleman who happened to be passing by" he remarked with a roguish grin that caused the woman in his arms to sigh.

"I'll make you pass on" the angry creature shouted, hurling an orb of black energy at him.

Without so much as batting an eye the Masked Gentlemen raised his umbrella and caught the rather nasty looking orb on the very tip end of it. It shook and wavered for a moment before dissipating harmlessly.

"Really now that's terribly uncalled for" he said before looking to the lady in his arms, "Susan, sweetness, I'm going to have to put you down now, I need to teach this rude fellow a lesson."

"You… you think you can take me?" the shadowy thing was not as confident as it tried to sound.

"Really old chap, we spent most of last year taking nasty fellows like you apart" he said whilst drawing the sword from his umbrella, "and you are a rather scrawny example of your kind."

A few moments, half a dozen slashes and one kick in the head later.

"Well, I'd say that is about that for this fellow" said the Masked Gentlemen slipping his sword back into its umbrella sheath, "Would you care to finish him off?"

The star struck Sailor Scout shook herself from her stupor and nodded.

#ASTEROID BELT * METEOR SHOWER#

In a brilliant flash of falling stars and screaming darkness the Youma was no more, a sprinkling of crystal dust the only sign it had ever been.

"Well, that was brief" he said, "But, nothing like a little morning exercise to get things pumping. Ladies" and with a tip of the hat he was gone.

"Oh, that man is so…"

"Wow."

And both girls gave a dramatic sigh.

…

A short distance away in a hidden alcove the Masked Gentleman gave a quick scan of the area before raising his hand and the simple silver ring with the black stone that rested upon it.

"And that's our show" he whispered to the ring.

In a brief shifting without any pomp or fanfare the Masked Gentleman disappeared and Harry Potter, student, took his place. With a quick look around to make sure no one was watching he stepped out into the hall and went on his way like nothing had happened.

The Masked Gentleman was something he'd cooked up when he'd discovered Naoko's little secret. He'd wanted to help her but she'd insisted it would be too dangerous, he might get hurt. This was sort of hypocritical considering the beating he had just saved her from before the conversation. So, after a suggestion from a mutual friend, he'd simply created his own alter ego and made sure she didn't find out.

Not too hard really, he mused to himself as he walked into the great hall, she could be terribly oblivious some times.

"Good morning Harry."

"Good Morning Zuli" Harry replied, taking his seat across from the amazon Gryffindor.

"You're a little late this morning" she observed.

"Slept in" which wasn't technically a lie, as he'd gotten up five whole minutes later than usual, "where's Serena?"

As if summoned by her name a fluffy white rabbit poked its head up over the table. Harry chuckled as it grabbed a celery stick from its plate then disappeared again.

"So we're a bunny this morning" he quipped.

Zuli chuckled, "I made her get dressed first, on a similar topic, Hermione has been and gone but I haven't seen the bottomless void yet this morning."

"Eh, I told him to get up, I'm not his mother. If he can't drag his arse out of bed for food that's his problem."

"Too true" she agreed.

"Ah, Mr. Potter."

"Professor McGonagall, good morning."

"Morning, your schedule, have you been considering the topic for your independent study for this term?"

Independent study was what he had replaced Divinations with. One class with Trelawney and he knew he wouldn't be able to handle another, so he'd made arrangements with McGonagall to spend the year studying the Animagus transformation. The ultimate goal of course being to achieve it himself. He had.

"Glad you mentioned that" he said, pulling a folded piece of paper from his robe.

McGonagall took the paper and read it, then her eyes bugged out, "Mr. Potter if this is a joke…"

"It's not" he said.

"Well, I don't think I have to tell you what an honor this is."

"Nope" he agreed.

"Or just how difficult the subject matter will be."

"Should keep me busy for a couple years ya think."

"At least" she said, still astonished, "I'll need an outline of what you plan to do…"

"Already written out, you'll have it by the end of the day."

"I see" she whispered and walked away.

Harry smiled at the confounded Professor, "Not often I get to shock her like that."

"What was that all about?" asked the little blonde girl.

"Decided to join us Serena?" said Harry.

"I wanna know what was on the paper" she insisted.

"That, that was just a letter from someone I met this summer, he agreed to help direct my independent study work for the year" said Harry evasively.

"And does this person have a name?" she asked annoyed.

"Doesn't everyone?"

The scowl he got in reply was so adorable he couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't make me go all dragon on your butt" she 'threatened'.

"I am not the least bit scared of your dragon Serena" said Harry staring back confidently.

"Who is it" she pouted.

With a chuckle he said, "Nicholas Flamel."

The answer left Serena with a blank look, it was Zuli who filled it in.

"You mean the alchemist, supposedly the oldest man alive."

"The very same" Harry confirmed.

"How did you manage that?" asked Serena.

"Oh, you'd be surprised who you run into in Undertown London."

…

"Cute girl."

"Gah" cried Neville as he toppled into the lake.

Harry watched the young man flounder about before suggesting, "Just stand up."

"Huh, oh" he said realizing the water was only about two feet deep, "thanks Harry."

"Any time" he replied, shaking the picture in his hand, "so, who's the girl, doesn't look familiar."

"That's, my, girlfriend" he said as he trudged up out of the lake, "we met this summer."

"Really, where at?"

"France."

"Huh, well, I suppose visiting will be a bit difficult won't it" said Harry, handing the picture back.

"Well, actually…"

"Wooooooohooooooo!"

The two boys had to momentarily brace themselves as Clementine went shooting by like a runaway rocket.

"Look, Clementine's on her broom, must be a weekday" Harry joked.

Neville chuckled, "I gotta go dry off."

"Probably a good idea" Harry agreed before going on his way as well.

From an observers perspective it would appear that he was just meandering around the castle grounds. This was far from the truth. Given the mornings workout it was clear someone new had moved in over the summer, maybe more than one. They seemed to do that, often without ever noticing each other. What he was actually doing was looking for markers or things that shouldn't be where they were, both of which would be noted for later.

He wasn't actually planning to deal with any of it. This sort of thing was Naoko's/Sailor Asteroid Belt's thing, he just helped once and a while and if three years at Hogwarts had taught him anything it was to be prepared for everything. Knowing where an enemy might hide or escape to was always useful information.

"Mornin Arry."

Harry smiled, "Morning Hagrid."

"Out fur a walk?"

"Just seeing what's changed over the summer" he replied.

"Oh, don't reckon all that much as changed, cep n' fur them new perfessers I spose" said the half giant man.

"New history and new defense, seems to be a running theme" Harry remarked, leaving out the other running theme associated with those same teachers.

"Yeah, don't reckon that'll change wit de defense this year, know Moody ain't gonna stay mor'n the one year."

"You're sure about that."

"Yep, that as part the agreement ee made wit Dumbledore, go back a long way they do, back even afore the war."

"He fought for Dumbledore in the war" Harry surmised.

"Oh yeah, twas You-know-who iself what took is leg, ain't got no love for the dark that'n."

Harry nodded, "good to know."

It would probably mean he wouldn't try to kill Harry. That sort of information was always welcome. Not that he wouldn't be keeping a very close eye on his new defense teacher anyway but still, hope springs eternal.

…

"Good morning Ophelia."

"Oh" the startled girl exclaimed, "Harry, I didn't see you there."

"I'm wearing my sneaky feet today" he quipped.

That got a rare smile out of the usually depressed and dour young woman, "Oh you."

"Oh me indeed" Harry agreed, "So, what brings you out here?"

Out here being the former sight of the now absent Whomping Willow.

"Just contemplating the futility of existence" she sighed.

"I would personally recommend a fulfilling past time" he said, knowing it was a waste to suggest but doing so anyway.

"Oh Harry, you just don't understand" she said.

"So you've told me, repeatedly" and she had.

Ophelia sighed and Harry couldn't help but wonder if she was just of that sort of nature that secretly enjoyed the angst.

…

"Hey Harry, whatcha doin?"

Harry glanced down at the bouncing ball of energy, "Just thinking" he said.

He was standing on the edge of the 'Forbidden' forest, extending his senses as far as he could just to see what he could see. Quite a lot as it turned out.

"Why be thinking when you could be doing!" she exclaimed before dashing off into the woods whooping like a maniac.

"Because if I spend a little time thinking, I avoid doing something stupid" he said to no one in particular, "A problem I suffered from greatly my first year hear, a good portion of my second too come to think of it."

He drew back to himself and looked once again at the forest. He had picked out a couple things he couldn't identify and a whole butt load of things he could. Rhiannon could take care of herself, that was hardly a concern but Harry was beginning to see how busy their new history teacher had been. The history teacher would be Naoko's new evil general or dark king or whatever he decided to call himself, that's how it had been since year one.

"Oh well" he muttered to himself, turning away from the forest, "nothing to do about it now."

…

"Ey mate, where you been all morning?" asked Ron through a mouthful of chicken.

"Around" said Harry non-committedly, taking his seat at the table.

"Why didn't you wake me up for breakfast, I almost missed it?" the ginger complained.

"Oh honestly Ronald he's not your mother" chided Hermione.

Harry smiled quietly to himself as the two started to argue, glad to be off the hook for a while. Ron had been especially petulant since he'd seen him on the train and Hermione was clearly still not over what had happened the previous year that had brought her 'evil twin' into permanent existence. He just hoped they'd mellow out as the school year got going, he had enough to worry about without playing buffer to these two.

"Miao" came the plaintive sound.

Harry glanced over his shoulder, "Hello Orion" he greeted, patting the spot next to him.

The cat accepted the invitation and hopped up onto the bench.

"Harry, you really shouldn't do that, you're just encouraging him to misbehave" scolded Hermione.

"He's not my cat" Harry countered, cutting several tiny bits of chicken and setting them on a plate in front of the feline.

"And how do you think Naoko will feel when she sees what you're doing?"

"There you are" the aforementioned girl said as she walked up to join them, "thanks for feeding him Harry."

"You're welcome" Harry said, pretending to ignore the scowling witch across from him.

Finished with his meal, the cat began washing his paws while subtly casting a glance up at the wizard next to him.

"The usual place" Harry heard whispered in his ear.

…

Half an hour later Harry was loitering in an empty hall when a familiar feline came strolling up.

"So, how was your summer pussy cat?" Harry asked.

"Far more exciting that I cared for" the cat replied which did not surprise Harry in the least.

"Busy huh?" he said bending down to Orion could hop up onto his shoulders.

"Let's just say it would have been nice if the Masked Gentleman could have made an appearance" the cat admitted.

"Sorry, I was a bit busy myself this summer" Harry said.

"Spending time with the dogfather" Orion quipped which made Harry laugh.

"Part of it, I was also up in Loch Ness for a couple weeks helping them out with a rogue problem" he said, pulling a card the size of a playing card from his sleeve and showing him the image captured upon it.

"Nice" admired the cat, "so, how do things look outside?"

"I picked out about a dozen markers, a couple things that seemed off, probably hibernating Youma, other than that not a whole lot has changed."

"Just the one guy this year then."

"So far" Harry confirmed, "don't forget we'll have a large number of strangers sharing our space in a few weeks which will only complicate things."

"I suppose you're right" the cat agreed, "I wonder what bonehead thought to bring this stupid tournament back anyway."

"Who knows, certainly no shortage of them in the ministry I can tell you that" said Harry which made the cat snicker.

"Well anyway, I've got a marker of my own on the new History teacher so when he decides to make a move we'll know where he is."

"Good, I'm hoping to get the usual nonsense out of the way early this year" Harry confessed, "I've got a lot I want to work on and I don't need the usual sort of trouble mucking about and getting in the way."

"Getting preemptive are we?"

"Absolutely."


	5. Bad girls

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter 04 – Bad Girls

…

"Good Morning Helen."

Helen Granger stopped at the greeting. It wasn't the greeting itself that made her stop but the person it had come from.

"Good Morning Lorraina" she replied cautiously.

The princess of Slytherin in her pearls and diamonds, because not having them would be like walking around naked, stood next to the gloomy little raincloud that was Ophelia. Given that she knew who they were and who they hung out with, the obvious question was…

"Where's Isolda?" she said out loud.

"I feel my ears burning."

Helen spun around wand flying into her hand stopping squarely on the 'evil' Slytherin.

"Oh really now, no need for that."

"Given all the trouble you've been to my 'sister' over the years I find that hard to believe" she stated not for a second letting her wand waver.

"Well, you're not your sister, are you Helen?"

It was sort of up for debate really but she didn't need to know that.

"What do you want?" she asked giving the other girl a suspicious glare.

"Well, complete domination of the British Isles would be nice" she said thoughtfully, "it's on my Christmas list" she faux whispered.

"Uh huh" said Helen, not the least bit convinced by her genial façade.

"At the moment though I'll settle for you."

That declaration caused her to double take, "come again."

"I've decided to widen my inner circle, and I've chosen you, isn't that nice" the sweet smile made Helen shiver, like she was looking at a tiger.

"I'll pass" she said trying to hide her nervousness as she turned to leave only to find Isolda right in front of her again.

"Oh come now, don't be so hasty, there's a lot you and I can do for one another, just imagine the possibilities. Your intellect with combined with my power and influence, total domination is no mere dream."

"I…" she stuttered against the other girl's excitement, her back against the wall preventing her escape.

"Don't deny it Helen, you know it's true. You're not the know it all goody two shoes your sister is. You have such potential, just think, everything you could ever want right at your fingertips. Wealth, influence, a bevy of boys at your beck and call, it's all possible."

The other girls close proximity was making her excitement infectious Helen thought. She found herself getting swept up in the idea but still…

"I, I just don't know" she hedged.

"Oh I think you do" Isolda countered, "I think you can see it all, all the things you've ever dreamed of coming true, and it scares you doesn't it?"

"I…I…"

"Come, let me show you what it could be like."

…

"Harry."

"Hmm" the boy replied, looking up from his breakfast, "Yarrow, what's the matter."

The girl with the powerful sight sat down next to him, took possession of his arm and proceeded to attach herself to his side.

"I had a vision Harry, terrible omens" she said clinging to his arm like a life jacket.

"Really" said Harry, going back to his breakfast with his spare hand.

"I'm serious, this could potentially be disastrous" she insisted, squeezing her seized arm even tighter.

"You said the same thing last year" he said.

"And I was right" she said with a gloating snuggle.

"That is entirely a matter of opinion" he countered, "None the less, what disaster shall befall us this year."

"Isolda is courting the 'other' Hermione."

Harry glanced down at the petite witch clamped to his arm, "You mean Helen."

She nodded.

"When you say other Hermione you mean …"

"You know what I mean" yeah he did, he just didn't know how she knew, "did you really think I wouldn't 'see' something like a mass temporal shift correction? Really Harry" she chided.

"Of course, how silly of me" he shook his head, "so exactly what do you mean when you say 'courting'?"

"She is swaying her to the dark side, bringing her into the fold, converting her to the cause of EVIL!" she exclaimed, all the while not relinquishing her hold of Harry.

Harry could only shake his head, "Isolda may be a lot of things but I hardly thing she qualifies as 'evil', despite what she may claim."

"Harry this is serious, why must you always question my visions" she pouted, throwing in a few sniffles for good measure.

"I don't question what you saw" Harry corrected, "I question your interpretation of the severity of what you believe you saw."

Yarrow was not moved and simply whined into his arm, which, if he was being honest, was really just too adorable.

"If I promise to protect you in the event of a major calamity coming to pass because of this will you give me back my arm?"

Smiling and giving his arm one last snuggle she stood up and said, "That's all I wanted" before giving him a quick peck on the cheek and skipping off to her own house table.

Harry shook his head, 'figured' he thought.

"Blimey Harry, why do you have to attract all the nuts" said Ron before shoving another sausage down his gullet.

Harry was saved from having to answer by the arrival of the owls with the morning mail, "mails here."

"Aw bugger, heads up" cried Ron, spotting the drunken swerving form of the family owl.

To both boys surprise the inevitable crash was avoided when Hedwig appeared and grabbed the other owl before it made its final landing, though that didn't stop her from dropping him unceremoniously onto the table.

"Good morning girl" Harry greeted his owl who hopped off her 'perch' and over to her human and his bacon.

Harry took the small folded bit of paper from his owl and left her to empty his plate as he knew she would. A quick scan told him all he needed to know and he got up to leave.

"Where you goin' mate" Ron queried whilst eyeing Hedwig and shielding his bacon.

"Oh you know, places to go things to do, see you in class" said Harry absently before walking off leaving Hedwig on an empty plate turning her attention to the next nearest source of bacon.

"Don't even think about it" Ron scowled.

"Preck!"

…

"Dobby, my friend, how was your summer" Harry greeted his diminutive companion.

"Dobby's summer was good" the little elf said, "Dobby is being very busy's at Hoggy warts, Dobby be practicing his pen ship."

"I noticed" Harry said, patting the note he'd gotten earlier, "you did what I asked you to do?"

The little elf nodded enthusiastically, "Dobby has kept close watch, Dobby has spotted no less than ten different things what might inconvenience Harry Potter sirs."

"Good, good, I'll want to get to dealing with those in the next few weeks so I don't have to deal with them later when I can't afford the time."

"Harry Potter sirs be very busy this year?" the elf inquired.

"Oh yes, apart from my independent study I've got several other projects I need to work on, and several others I'd like to. I'm not going to have time to go chasing hints and rumors like usual so, we get all the mischief makers squared away now so I won't have to deal with them later."

"Harry Potter sirs is very wise" Dobby said, beaming with admiration.

"Well, couldn't do it without you Dobby" Harry returned the compliment which left the little elf looking like he might just burst or possibly pee himself, "I've got to go, Transfiguration starts in ten minutes."

"Dobby thinks Harry Potter has learned all he can be learning going to that class."

"You may be right, but I doubt McGonagall will give me a pass just because I'm not learning anything."

…

"Bloody switching spells" Ron groused as he walked out of the classroom.

"Must you complain about everything?" Hermione chastised.

Harry just shook his head at the two of them. This was getting ridiculous. Soon they'd be dragging him into it and getting all bent out of shape when he didn't take their side. He did not need this added aggravation on top of what he already had to deal with normally.

"Harry, did you hear me?"

"Hmm" he responded, since he hadn't.

"You didn't hear a thing I said did you?" she accused.

"Was I supposed to?" he asked a bit stupidly.

Hermione growled but still pressed on, "Have you seen Helen today."

"No, why?"

"I haven't either, I checked everywhere I could think of but I couldn't find her anywhere."

"She's probably with Isolda" said Harry absently, already losing interest in the conversation.

"What, Isolda, why would she be with Isolda" Hermione panicked.

"Apparently she trying to court your doppelganger for her team" said Harry, like that wasn't a terrifying thought.

"What!" she screeched, "How do you know that?"

"Yarrow told me."

This answer actually calmed the hysterical girl down, "Yarrow told you she repeated."

"Yep."

"And is suppose she 'saw' this, did she" you could practically feel the sarcasm dripping from the word saw.

"Calamity and Woe" Harry replied.

"Oh honestly Harry" she said with a chuckle, "Don't tell me you really believe that tripe."

"Not that calamity and woe part" he said, "but the Isolda and Helen part, sure."

"Oh really now, why would I have anything to do with that wretched scheming little troll Isolda?"

"You wouldn't" Harry agreed which made Hermione smile all smugly, "but she would."

Hermione looked and almost fell over at what she saw. Her exact double walking down the hall toward them chatting with the one witch she hated more than any other. It was like something out of her worst nightmare but she was awake.

Unable to process what she was seeing it was up to the other Hermione to notice her.

"Oh, Hello Harry" or the person next to her anyway.

"Good morning Helen" Harry greeted genially, "Missed you at breakfast this morning."

"Yeah well, I had something to take care of this morning" she said with a meaningful glance to her companion.

"I see" he said, "good morning Isolda."

"Oh, it's you, sorry didn't notice you were there" she said dismissively.

"Sure ya didn't" really who did she think she was fooling?

"I've got to go, I have charms in five minutes" she said and with a quick wave she was gone.

With Hermione still trying to reboot her brain and Ron having wandered off at some point that left Harry and Isolda basically alone in the hall. Naturally it was Isolda who made the first move.

"So, gonna tell me to stay away from her, as if you could make me" she said condescendingly.

"Are you just using her to get close to me?" he asked flatly.

This seemed to startle the 'evil' witch, "what… what a stupid thing to ask, why would I want to get close to you?"

Harry thought it was kinda funny how strained her usual look of superiority was at that moment, "then I have nothing to say."

This left her further flabbergasted, "Seriously?"

"Helen's a big girl she can take care of herself. If she wants to be friends with you that's her business."

Isolda just looked at him like he'd grown a second head, which had then grown its own second head, which was really a chicken that started singing 'I got you babe' in the voice of Sonny Bono.

"Seriously, I am evil you know" she protested.

Harry just chuckled, "sure you are."

"Oh you need a demonstration" she said, her usual arrogance returning as her wand appeared in her hand.

Harry simply walked right up to her, practically nose to nose and said, "Try me."

In such close proximity where he could practically count her eyelashes he could feel her breath on his face. He felt it quicken as she grew more and more tense, he felt it hitch when the shiver ran up her spine. He could see her eyes go unfocused for a moment and the barest whisper of a sound across her lips before she turned away from him.

"You're not even worth a proper lesson" she said sticking her nose up in the air.

Harry just smiled, "Whatever you say."

And with that he strolled casually down the hall, leaving Hermione still trying to come to terms with what she had seen, and Isolda pouting whilst trying to bring her pulse back down to normal.

Bad girls, go figure.


	6. Getting Preemptive

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter 05 – Getting Preemptive

…

"Draco, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Course it's a good idea" the Malfoy scion responded arrogantly, "stupid Potter couldn't even handle those Cornish pixies, just think what a swarm of actual fairies will do to him."

"But, how do we know they won't come after us?"

"Idiot, that's why we have their queen" he shouted, holding up the iron cage, showing the twelve inch tall woman with butterfly wings trapped inside.

"Oh, she's awful pretty."

Draco scoffed, "you can play with it after we're done."

"So how do we know that fairy swarm even found Potter?" asked Crabbe.

"We sent Goyle to watch him remember."

From up in the branches of the tree they were standing under Harry grinned. He certainly remembered, he remembered exactly when he'd spotted Goyle, and exactly where he'd left him, petrified. The fairies had been their own sort of problem, coincidentally one of the problems Dobby had identified for him to deal with.

Holding the new card in his hand with the picture of a fairy swarm on it, he pondered on the best way to deal with the situation. He could simply go down there and beat the two idiots, but that wasn't really his style. He could summon up one of his other catches to scare them off, but his sense of justice really wanted to do something involving that fairy queen they were holding.

After a moment's thought he pulled something like a hair from behind his ear and whispered to it. The hair grew to a full sized staff with a golden hoop at each end within the blink of an eye. Leaning out and holding the staff by one of its hoops the staff began to extend, longer and longer till it nearly reached the cage below.

Dangling just above the iron enclosure the lower hoop opened like a little claw then lowered some more till it was just at the right height. Carefully, and ever so slowly the claw closed around the handle of the cage until it had a firm grip. With his prize now grasped he cautiously reeled it up without the Ponce or his buffoon even noticing their captive getting away.

Peeking at the little maid inside he couldn't help but agree with Crabbe's assessment, she was pretty, pretty terrified from the looks of it. The he thought he detected a hint of hope there as well when their eyes met.

Tucking his staff back behind his ear he took two fingers, turned them a silvery color then made them glow. The glow was the glow of metal being heated and he used this to bisect the cage which he then pulled open like a broken pair of jaws. The fairy queen looked around for a moment before hovering off the floor of her former prison.

She buzzed around his head a couple of times growing more and more excited. Then she spotted Malfoy and Crabbe and the white aura around her turned red. It was only his massive (compared to her) hand that stopped her short.

"I think you could do more with a little help" he said, flashing his newest capture.

"What is taking them so long?" Crabbe complained.

Draco opened his mouth then nearly jumped out of his skin when the terrible crash made his heart skip a few beats.

"What the bloody hell" he screeched, seeing the broken cage lying on the ground where it had fallen.

"Uh, Draco."

Draco looked to where his henchman was pointing only to abruptly void his bowels. Hovering over them like a vengeful spirit was an angry fairy queen. All around her buzzed little crimson lights, an entire swarm of fairies, fire element to be exact.

Draco barely had time to let out a girlish shriek before they fell upon the two boys who did their level best to run like their asses were on fire. Hiding up in the tree branches Harry just chuckled.

…

"I really appreciate your help with this Neville" said Harry.

"No problem" the fellow Gryffindor said as he adjusted his grip, "I just don't see why you didn't ask Ron."

"Physical labor that isn't Quidditch related. I suspect if I'd asked he would discovered he was suffering from some mysterious possibly life threatening ailment that prevented him from lifting anything heavier than a fork" said Harry.

The assessment of the youngest Weasley son made both boys laugh.

"Yeah, you're probably right" said Neville, "so, what exactly are we doing?"

"We are constructing an outdoor ritual site" said Harry.

"Uh, why?" the timid boy inquired.

"It's part of my independent study work" said Harry.

"You're studying rituals?"

"Alchemy, which has large ritual components in many of its products" Harry clarified.

"Oh" Neville replied, still not entirely sure he understood.

"Yeah, Hogwarts used to have one of these, back when they still taught ritual magic" said Harry.

"When was that" Neville asked curious?

"Last class was about one hundred and twenty three years ago."

"So how're you doing this again?"

Harry smiled, "I had the dubious fortune of meeting Nicholas Flamel the summer, a foul tempered crotchety old goat. And then I met his wife, a sweet even tempered woman who turned her husband into a goat."

"Are you serious" the look on his face said he couldn't believe it.

"Totally. Come to find out Penny, that's what she likes to be called, was actually the one who taught Dumbledore, and let me tell you she had nothing nice to say about him."

"Really."

"Apparently the uses for dragons blood, that treatise Dumbledore is famous for is something she'd done years earlier. He stole it from her and published it as his."

"Why would he do that?" I just didn't make sense to Neville.

"According to Penny because he was a short sighted glory seeking little shit. Her words not mine" he felt the need to clarify.

"So, how did that lead to this exactly?"

"Well, after Sirius was done getting rejected and went to sulk, Penny and I got to talking and several hours later she invited us to have dinner with her."

"Whose Sirius?" he asked, thinking he knew but afraid of being right.

"Sirius Black, my godfather" Harry clarified.

Looking rather pale, "Harry, why are you spending time with the convict that betrayed your parents?"

Rather than being angry Harry looked embarrassed, "right I forgot you weren't there for that little confession were you. Okay short version, He didn't, he was never given a trial to prove that fact, and I didn't spend my whole summer with him, I was actually in Lock Ness for the first two weeks."

Trying to absorb what everything he'd just been told he couldn't help latching on to one detail, "what were you doing in Lock Ness?"

"They had a rogue kelpie problem I was helping them with."

"Why you?"

"Well because a friend of a friend of Serena's father had heard about how well I wrangled Serena that time she went all crazy last year so he thought I might be able to get a handle on their crazy."

"Oh" he said, "how'd it go?"

"Not too bad, the hard part was catching up to it. It kept moving over land into different bodies of water and when we finally caught up with it he just went totally nutters on us like completely berserk."

"So, what'd you do?"

"Well…, ya know it'd just be easier to show so ask me again later okay" said Harry finally coming to a stop.

"Okay" agreed Neville setting down his end of the large sea chest they'd been carrying.

"Blimey, who knew it could get this hot in Scotland" Harry complained wiping the sweat from his brow.

"You must've picked the hottest day of the year to do this" said Neville using his shirt to wipe his sweating face before removing it all together.

"Well get ready, cuz it's only gonna get worse."

…

"OO, it appears our Mr. Longbottom has been trimming the baby fat this summer" observed Madysonne.

"Give him a couple more years he'll be pretty cute" agreed Clementine.

"I think he's really cute now."

The two girls put down their binoculars momentarily to give their companion an odd look.

"What" said Susan Bones, wilting under their attention?

"Oh, leave her alone" said Xanthe, who had not put down her binoculars, "Everyone's entitled to their own opinion."

"Too bad though, I heard he has a girlfriend" said Rhiannon.

"Aw" Susan whined.

"Yes, a French girl named Paris" said Kimberly with a snicker as she observed her quarry through a very complicated looking telescope mounted on a tripod.

"A French girl named Paris" Madysonne repeated with a snicker.

Clementine snickered too, "Okay, if he's going to make up an imaginary girlfriend he might want to put a little more work into it."

"Oh my!"

Everyone turned to look at the person who had spoken.

"Oh my what?" asked Kimberly.

"Neville's not the only one who did some trimming this summer" said Heather, unconsciously licking her lips as she stared through her binoculars.

All eyes returned instantly to their viewing devices.

"Oh goodness."

"Houston, we have achieved shirtless status."

"Lord take me now for I have seen heaven and I am ready!"

"Does it feel hot to anyone else? I'm not the only one who feels hot right?"

As the other girls made various exclamations and observations on the 'structural quality' of the last Potter Kimberly was jotting down notes in a small note pad while cackling to herself and occasionally stopping to drool a bit.

Poor Harry.

…

"Ugh, aaaaw, geez. I am so glad that is over" Harry groaned as he slowly lowered himself into the bath.

"Harry Potter sirs, you's drink" said Dobby, handing him a large mug with a greenish looking sludge in it.

"Oh, thank you Dobby" said Harry gratefully taking his protein shake from the house elf, "So, we can scratch the fairies off the list of things to do.

"Dobby is not so sure since Harry Potter sirs was letting fairy queen gets away" countered Dobby.

"She won't be giving me any trouble Dobby, that I am fairly confident of" he said, taking a slurp from his mug, "what else was there?"

"Dark General professy Dobby thinks should be next."

Harry shook his head, "No, it takes them some time to really ramp things up and this one seems to be using enemies we've already learned to fight. Move him down the list, he can wait a couple weeks."

Dobby nodded, "Big nasty Chimera in the Forbidden Forest?"

"Hmm, yeah, should probably handle that one soon, definitely before our guests arrive. Can you imagine the trouble it would cause if that thing got into the castle like that stupid troll did my first year?"

"Dobby would rather not" said the little elf, "then there is nasty ninja's sneaking into castle."

"Need to figure out where their coming in before we go after that problem."

"Nasty mimic's is invaded come and go room, is become very dangerous and worse if mimic's get out of room."

"Interesting, save that for next week, there's a couple things I want to finish before I try tackling that one."

The little elf nodded then seeing the next item on his list, braced himself, "Dobby is also been needing to ask great and kind Harry Potter sirs for a favor."

Harry gave the little elf a skeptical glance, or as much as he could he was really too tired to put much effort into it, "Am I not going to like this?"

The little elf just shrugged and refused to make eye contact.

"Alright, let's hear it."

"Dobby be hoping Harry Potter sirs would be willing to take on another elf."

Now that got his attention, "Why?" he asked without even thinking.

"Is a very delicate matter Harry Potter sirs."

"Go on, I'm listening."


	7. A walk in the woods

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter 06 – A walk in the woods

…

*Hachoo*

"Stupid bloody weather" Harry grumbled as he strolled through the forest, "yesterday it's hot enough to roast your arse and now you need a coat just to go outside."

Harry rolled his shoulders and stretched his back as he walked. The soreness he'd acquired from the previous days exertion were still bothering him and likely would continue to all day. Still he had things to do and he wasn't about to let something so minor as muscle fatigue stop him.

He couldn't help but wonder where the Chimera had come from. There was obviously a wide array of creatures living in the Forbidden Forest but how where does a Chimera even come from. The whole thing smelled fishy to Harry. Of course he was no expert on Chimera but still he had a pretty good idea where most of the nasty's had come from. The acromantula after all had been a big part of his second year and the centaurs, arguably not 'creatures', he'd been running into since his first.

*Hachooooooo*

"Ah dammit all!" he exclaimed as the sneeze shook his entire body turning the ache into genuine pain.

This was a bad idea he pondered. He was in no condition to fight a Chimera, not that he really had much idea what fighting a Chimera would be like but none the less. He considered just turning around and going back inside. He had other things to work on that didn't require his physical prowess. Then it happened, as it so often did, the choice was removed from his hands.

His foot went to step forward then shot back, just barely missing a painful impalement by a glowing green spear. He knew that spear. Even as he watched it fade from existence as they always did he knew who had thrown it.

Looking up to where the angle of the spear indicated the thrower ought to be he saw her. She wore nothing but a short skirt slit all the way up to the belt and a barely there top held on by a golden ring around her neck and the ties that went round her back. The outfit, what little there was, was in Gryffindor red which contrasted nicely with her dark ebony skin.

"Morning Zuli, fancy meeting you out here" he greeted.

"Such a lovely morning for a meeting too, isn't it?" she purred batting her eyelashes in that way that drives men wild.

It was less effective at distance.

"Lovely, right" Harry replied not sharing her assessment of the weather, which coincidentally he had decided to blame on Heather, "was there a reason you decided to throw a spear at me."

"Well, you are invading my territory" she mused throwing out her hip provocatively as she leaned against the trunk of the tree she was perched in.

"Invading? I didn't realize we were at war" Harry remarked looking for the quickest way to escape.

"Oh, maybe it was just probing, were you probing me Harry?" she asked with a hungry look.

"You don't mind a little probing do you Zuli?" he said and regretted it the instant he realized he'd said it.

"Oh no, I don't mind, not at all" she was purring again, looking at him like a well done bit of meat.

She was in her huntress mode. He should have realized it from the start. It was something he'd encountered the previous year when her hormones had really kicked in. She'd be overcome by the primal urge to hunt which normally meant she went into the Forbidden forest and killed things till she calmed down. Of course there had been a couple times where she'd been unable to get away and the castle had witnessed the other side of the huntress.

"Well it's been nice seeing you this morning but I've really gotta run and… oof!"

Run he did, right into the dragon. He knew it wasn't really a dragon of course, all too familiar with Serena's various forms but still how had he let that sneak up on him.

"Run? No, no running, just catching."

Harry shivered, as he could hear her voice like she was whispering in his ear.

"What's the point of catching without a good chase?" he countered hoping against hope to appeal to her desire for the hunt.

"Run, chase, catch" she murmured as she stalked toward him on silent predator feet, "no, just the prize, the prize is all I want, give it to me."

His ploy failing he did the only thing he could as she lunged desperately for him. There was a crack and then he was no longer there. It was a sloppy apparition and it only took him about ten feet but it served its purpose, it got him away from the dragon and the hormone driven crazy.

"Harry" she moaned spotting him easily and giving him a look that positively smoldered.

It took every ounce of willpower he had not to give in to her entreaty. She was after all exceptionally attractive and clearly more than willing. Sadly he was a better man than that. Taking advantage of her in such a state or allowing her to take advantage of him in such a state was simply unacceptable.

"You'll thank me for this later Zuli" he shouted then turned his back and took off like a shot.

Of course as anyone familiar with predators will tell you, never show them your back it just encourages them. So it was with a lustful shiver the dark skinned amazon took off after her wily prey. Not to be left out Serena shifted from a great golden dragon to a lean white wolf and took off after him as well.

As they weren't making any effort to be stealthy Harry knew he was being followed within moments. Not that it really surprised him. These sorts of situations had a way of just spiraling further and further out of his control no matter what he did.

"Banzai!"

Kinda like that he thought as Rhiannon came out of nowhere and tried to glomp him. A short apparition caused her to miss but Harry just barely avoided slamming into a tree when he landed. He didn't stop though. He bounced off the tree with a single spin, regained his footing and kept on running.

Of course now there were three of them chasing him, since it wasn't in Rhiannon's character to give up so easily and it certainly was in her character to chase things, especially him.

"Harry!" he heard Zuli plead again.

The effect was diminished however. Drown out by the pounding in his ears as adrenaline coursed through his veins like a high speed racer. His entire body ached even with the adrenaline but he ignored it. He'd likely regret it later but he'd sooner regret that than what he'd be regretting if he got caught.

It had to end though, he couldn't keep it up. Zuli was inhumanly fast with stamina to match. As a wolf Serena could run for days without tiring and Rhiannon was no different. He needed an escape, something none of them would expect. He needed to disappear, but he couldn't focus hard enough at the moment for a long distance apparition.

He'd have to try something else. A gamble, something he'd not normally resort to. He just needed an opening and a tree with big thick roots.

His three pursuers were closing in. They could see him slowing. Each one grinned, for their own reasons, as the chase drew to its inevitable close. Then something exploded. A cloud of thick black smoke surrounded their prey and within a moment they were inside it as well. It was foul, the rotting smell of ancient eggs and long dead fish.

The two with Serena and Rhiannon, being possessed of particularly powerful olfactory powers, were quickly making every effort to depart from the rank and rancid cloud of despair and misery. Zuli being less affected was desperately trying to spot her quarry, having lost sight of him when he was enveloped by the noxious cloud.

Eventually though even she was forced out of the cloud and by the time it had dispersed he was nowhere in sight. Looking around desperately yet unable to find so much as a trace of her prey she shook with fury then let loose a scream that shook the forest.

Stopping to catch her breath she rubbed the tears from her eyes and bolted back into the forest. Serena, still pawing at her poor nose shifted into an eagle and took off after her friend. Rhiannon, not knowing what was going on but not wanting to be left out followed after. Her position was marked by the occasional sneeze from her poor abused nose.

It was not till several minutes later, once the sound of sneezing could no longer be heard that something poked its head out. The little flying squirrel glanced around for a time before hauling itself up out of the little hollow it has squeezed into underneath the massive twisted roots of the old tree. Looking around once more to be sure he was safe the gliding arboreal mammal grew and expanded till it was once again Harry Potter.

"That was much too close" he muttered to himself then flinched.

With the adrenaline fading his aching everything was coming back and on top of that it felt as though he'd dislocated something when he'd brushed across that tree.

"Wonderful" he complained as he tried to get his bearings only to come to an unfortunate conclusion, "well now where the hell am I?"

In the heat of the moment he'd been largely unconcerned with his location or his destination. Now he was paying for that lapse as he turned around and around having absolutely no idea which way to go.

"Well, bugger!" he exclaimed, then tensed.

He was not yet so far away from his former pursuers that he would believe himself truly safe.

"Harry."

The ethereal voice made him freeze like the proverbial deer in the headlights.

"Harry" it called again, soft and sweet like a pleasant dream.

This caused him to relax, just a little. None of three that had been chasing him possessed such a voice. In fact, there was only one girl he knew that did.

"Elwen" he called nervously.

"Harry" the voice called back.

There was a difference in it this time. It was no longer all around him but coming from a single direction. Willing to take a chance and having no better recourse he started walking. Occasionally he would stop and wait for the voice again. It would come and he would adjust his heading.

Eventually he came to a clearing that looked like it had been transplanted from a completely different forest. The grass was bright green and spotted with small flowers. There was a line of large ferns surrounding half of a small pool of the clearest cleanest water Harry had ever seen. The unicorn that was drinking from the pool stopped when he entered looked at him for a time then casually turned and walked back into the regular forest.

"You scared him away" a playful voice said.

Harry turned toward the voice and smiled, "Elwen."

Elwen smiled back. She was taller than the last time he'd seen her. Of course the last time he'd seen her she'd been wearing the illusion that allowed her to fit in without drawing attention. The mousy looking girl who attended Hogwarts was a far cry from the real Elwen.

The real Elwen was no girl but a full grown woman in the fullest blossom of her womanhood. As Harry understood it this would be the case for most of her life and what a long life it would be. She might have passed for an exceptionally beautiful human woman if not for one little detail, her long pointed ears. It was really the only thing that was unmistakably otherworldly, which was fair since she was from another world.

"Taking a stroll in the woods Harry?" she asked like she didn't already know.

"Well it seemed like such a lovely day for it" he quipped trying to ignore his arm which simply refused to be ignored.

"Is something wrong with your arm" she inquired.

"Nah, it's nothing, could be worse" he hedged.

The caused an annoyed sigh, "what is it with you men, if there isn't a sword sticking out of you all you can say is it could be worse" she declared grabbing him by his good arm and pulling him toward the pond.

"To be fair, with that as a point of reference we're really not lying are we?" Harry countered weakly.

The look she gave said all she needed to say, "Into the pond" and with a gentle shove he toppled into the water.

Now it was his turn to be annoyed as he heard her giggle. He kept getting blindsided this morning. He didn't like it. It seemed no matter how hard he worked he could never keep up with these obnoxiously overpowered women. His thoughts must have shown through.

"You're pouting" she said with a giggle in her tone as she stepped into the water where he now floated.

"I am not pouting" he pouted.

"It looks like you're pouting" she replied gently taking his injured arm in her delicate hands.

"Girls pout. Men brood. There's a difference" he stated unequivocally.

She giggled at that, "Of course there is darling, of course there is."

He could have said something but the tingling in his arm told him this was not the time. Soft words rolled from her lips in a language he did not know. He recognized some of the words, having heard her say them before, but he had no idea what any of them meant. This was the language of her people. The language she'd brought with her. He really needed to have her teach it to him one of these days.

The tingling soon extended to his whole body and it wasn't long before the ache from the previous day faded into memory. He felt good, hell he felt great in fact. His feelings of annoyance now mostly forgotten he was ready to take on the world. More importantly, he was ready to take on a Chimera.

…

"Cor Blimey!" exclaimed Ron when he saw his best mate.

"Geez, what happened to you?" Seamus added.

"I wasn't ready for it" Harry said in a hollow voice sitting down at the table.

"Ready for what" Neville inquired nervously.

"Chimera" Harry replied simply.

All three boys looked at him like he was mad.

"I didn't know Chimera's breathed fire" said Ron.

"Yeah, me neither" said Harry.

"Uh Harry, you got a little…" said Neville weakly gesturing toward the tuft of hair burning like a little black candle.

Harry glanced up licked his fingers then squeezed the flame out, "Thanks Nev."

…

"Dobby, move the Chimera down the list."

"Yes Harry Potter sirs" the little elf said with a nod.

"How's the newest member of the family doing?"

"Winky is sober" said Dobby, "beyond that is hard to say."

"Well, keep her busy, that's probably the best thing for her right now" said Harry, "it's done wonders for my mental wellbeing."

"Dobby will do Harry Potter sirs. When is we going after the mimic's?"

"Monday is pretty much packed so let's set it for Tuesday. I only have a couple classes that day."

The little elf nodded and scribbled something on his calendar. The way things were going it promised to be a very busy month. Dobby was so excited.


	8. The things I see

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter 07 – The things I see

…

Mornings, she hated mornings. She hated them almost as much as she hated evenings, or long nights of sleep filled with visions and vague premonitions of things that might or might not be. Of course both of these things led to mornings so perhaps she really ought to hate mornings the most.

Grumbling to herself she threw back her covers and shivered at the chill in the room.

"Should have seen that coming" she complained.

"Oh shut up would ya, tryin ta sleep" mumbled one of her roommates.

She sighed. It was the same every morning. Sliding into her slippers she slowly stumbled to the bathroom and went about preparing for her day. It was an arduous process to be sure, especially with a nights worth of probability to sift through. Most of it would be just useless dreck but there always seemed to be that one kernel of something important that she'd need to know.

Giving a jaw cracking yawn she picked up her hair brush and went about the extremely tedious task of bringing her rebellion of hair back in line. It was such moments she considered just cutting it off but she had yet to follow through. He liked it long, or so she believed. She'd never asked him but he'd certainly never stated he didn't like it. She was grasping at straws and she knew it.

Thirty minutes later, looking at least presentable, she stepped out of the dorms and headed for the great Hall. She was an early riser, one of the few. Even in the house known for its early birds she was still among the first out every morning. Not 'the' first surprisingly enough though she wondered if most of those even slept.

Pausing for a moment she watched the halberd drop from the suit of armors hand. The blade imbedded itself neatly into the floor exactly where she would have been had she not stopped. Shaking her head she stepped over the fallen weapon and went on her way.

She had just reached the great Hall when she stopped again, narrowly missing the spell as it whizzed by. Inside the hall Fred and George were taking shots at one another. Nothing new. Then she saw something that brightened her day considerably. Sitting all alone, a safe distance from the dueling Weasley's, there he was.

She couldn't believe her luck, she hadn't foreseen this. Of course that was one of the things she loved about him, that she couldn't predict him. No matter how great her clairvoyant powers he was simply beyond her ability to 'see'. He was simply too surrounded by chaos. It was wonderful.

Making a few quick 'adjustments' she made to approach only to sidestep as a tray came flying past her then duck to avoid a pair of flying forks. She cursed under her breath which caught in her throat when a shadow crossed over her.

"Good morning Yarrow" he said extending his hand to help her up.

"Oh, Harry" she almost yelped, "good morning."

"You might want to just come back later, it isn't too safe to be in here right now" he said giving that million dollar smile that always made her heart skip a beat.

Then before she could say a word he was gone. She stared longingly at the spot where he'd stood, cursing her wretched luck. The clang of cutlery drew her attention and she decided it would be much more productive to curse someone else.

…

"I wouldn't eat that if I were you."

The 6th year Ravenclaw looked at her skeptically, "Oh really and why is that?"

"Because if you do it will start a rebellion with the chicken you've already eaten and you'll spend the next twelve hours with your head in a toilet" she explained.

"Pff, yeah right I'm so sure" he said disregarding the warning.

It was ridiculous really. She tutored her entire year in Divination's. They knew what she could do yet whenever she tried to warn someone of something bad they always ignored her. It was really quite aggravating. She honestly didn't know why she wasted her time.

"I don't see why you waste your time" commented Heather sitting next to her.

"I wonder that myself sometimes" she confessed.

"It is to their own detriment" said Elwen wisely.

"Oh forget him" said Kimberly dismissively, "what about this thing I'm working on that…"

"No" said Yarrow.

"What, but it's…"

"It won't work" the seer clarified, "you'll try it and it will fail. Then you'll try it again and it'll explode."

"Well… Fudge!" she exclaimed.

"Think she'll actually listen" Heather whispered.

"If the castle's still here tomorrow, yes" she answered with only the hint of an impish grin.

…

"Watch your step there."

"Oy, I don't need you to tell me how to waaaaaa!" the girl shouted as she went toppling to the floor.

"Of course you don't" she said calmly walking by shaking her head.

She tried to help, she really did, and all she got was abuse.

"Oh" she exclaimed as she spotted the affection of her heart walking down the hall in her direction.

"Harry" she called out practically skipping over to meet him.

"Oh, Yarrow, what brings you this way" he said somewhat distractedly, shifting the large double bladed axe to his other shoulder.

"Oh, I was just um…" she tapered off unable to ignore the elephant on his shoulder, "Harry, why do you have an axe?"

Harry glanced at the axe like he hadn't even noticed it, "this, just doing a little pest control is all."

"Harry Potter sirs, we should's go."

It was only after it spoke that Yarrow noticed the house elf in the white toga and gladiator gear that was following her crush.

"Spose we should" he agreed, "scuse us."

And with that they were on their way leaving the seer standing their wondering just what sort of pest required an axe.

It was still in this state of consternation that she ran into Furiko and Rhiannon.

"I'm telling you, it's driving me mad" said Furiko.

"We'll find them, they can't hide forever you know" Rhiannon replied flippantly.

"Oh yes they can" Furiko shot back.

"You're looking in the wrong direction" Yarrow said interjecting herself into the conversation.

"Huh?" the two girls parroted.

"The enemy you seek comes from below" she said, "North western end" she added.

"Wha, bu… I don't know what you're talking about" said Furiko with a weak and very fake smile.

Yarrow just glared at the poor act, "the sneaky men in black pajamas" she clarified.

Furiko was gob smacked.

"I guess she knew what 'we' were talking about" Rhiannon was not.

"Furiko, Furiko" Naoko shouted running up to the three of them.

"Your enemy is the history teacher" said Yarrow turning to the newest inclusion.

"Huh, oh I know, have you seen all the homework I've gotten" she said easily switching topics from whatever it was she'd run up to Furiko for.

"No I mean he's evil" Yarrow tried to clarify.

"You wanna talk about evil, I think Dumbledore's evil" she said in a conspiratorial whisper, "he denied our request to change the Hufflepuff house colors to Baby blue and Pink again, can you believe that?"

Yarrow looked at the other girl for a moment then pushed up her glasses to rub her eyes.

"I have to go" she said.

If she looked at that girl much longer her headache would turn into a full blown migraine.

…

"Aren't you going to eat?"

Sigh, "I don't know. I'm not even all that hungry."

Elwen looked at the seer with concern. She didn't often get like this. Fortunately Elwen knew just how to deal with it.

"Would you excuse me for a second?"

Yarrow barely grunted an acknowledgment as she let her head drop down onto the table. She hated feeling like this. She'd never been all that fond of her ability but was a little appreciation for what she tried to do so much to ask. Against her own will she let out a whine. It was terribly undignified and it only made her feel worse.

She was interrupted from her moping by a gentle hand on her head. The soft petting was very soothing till she realized she was being petted and dammit all she did not need anyone's pity.

"Rough day?" a familiar voice inquired.

Oh sweet Merlin she knew that voice. Her head shot up and she started to stutter out some kind of excuse but it all fell away the moment he sat down next to her. Her mind was a blank, no snappy comments, no flirty banter, nothing.

"Did you know you have a big red mark on your forehead?" he asked.

Leave it to him to know just what to say, "Oh you" she said rubbing at her forehead yet completely unable not to smile back at him.

"Someone thought you might need a hug" he said sweetly, "ya know I usually charge for those."

She laughed at his cheek. She squeaked when he put his arms around her. She melted as he held her close, his powerful aura washing over her like warm sunshine.

"Tomorrow will be better, promise" he whispered gently into her ear and then he was gone and she was left to bask in the afterglow.

She noticed Elwen sitting next to her grinning and she couldn't help but grin back.

"Thank you" she said.

"Anytime" the lovely elf girl said.

It was a glimpse of something as she looked at Elwen that made her grin fade and turned her cheeks tomato red.

"Yarrow, are you alright?" Elwen asked.

"Fine, fine, just fine" she squeaked abruptly finding the food at the table very interesting.

"Did you 'see' something?" the elf girl asked curiously then gave a mischievous grin, "something naughty."

"My aren't the potatoes lovely this evening" she shouted getting a few strange looks.

Still, it was better than telling Elwen what she had seen. Though she couldn't help but wonder exactly how the elf girl was going to get herself into such a situation. After all, how many pairs of fuzzy handcuffs could there be at Hogwarts.


	9. Under the weather

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter 08 – Under the Weather

…

"Harry, we're mates right?"

"Yes Ron."

"So, you'd tell me if I was going round the twist right?"

"Yes Ron."

"So, is it just me or is it really raining, uh, whatever those are?"

"I believe they're haddock" said Harry as he watched fish fall from the sky like raindrops.

"Oh thank Merlin, I thought I was losing my mind" Ron exclaimed breathing a sigh of relief.

"If I were to guess it's probably just Heather fell asleep in class again" said Harry completely nonplussed but the absurd turn of weather.

"It's not right ya know. One person having that kind of control over the weather I mean."

"You wanna tell her that?" Harry asked giving Ron a skeptical look.

"Tell who what? Don't know what yur talkin bout Harry" stuttered Ron with a weak and unconvincing laugh.

"Sure you don't" Harry grinned at his brave friend's cowardice.

Not that he really blamed Ron. He didn't really blame Heather either. Like Yarrow's sight Heather's manipulation of the weather was just something she was born with. He could no more blame her for that than the fact she had blue eyes or straight hair. Though he couldn't help but wonder what sort of dream would result in it raining fish. Probably something with an ocean theme he imagined.

"So, how's about a game of chess after lunch?" Ron queried hopefully.

"We have Care after lunch" said Harry.

"Yeah, I know" said the slacker king, "Come on, ya can't tell me you really want to be anywhere near those things."

"He grades us on attendance you know."

"Seriously? That is so bloody unfair" the ginger complained.

*CrackaBOOM*

"Think he might call class on account a weather" Ron asked hopefully as he stared out at the new absurdity pouring from the sky.

"I suppose that depends on how the Skrewts react to eels" Yep, definitely ocean themed Harry thought.

…

"Well the good news is it's no longer raining eels, it's just raining, hard" stated Kimberly as a large mixed group clustered around her.

"That's something I suppose" said Hermione.

"Also on that note, I found out why it lasted so long."

"Heather was napping in class" said Ron like he already knew.

"Heather hasn't been to class today" Kimberly corrected, "she's sick, she's in the hospital wing."

"How serious is it?" was the obvious next question from Harry.

"Nothing life threatening" Kimberly assured, "but she will be out for several days, so it's safe to assume we can expect more of this ridiculous weather in the near future as she drifts in and out of sleep."

"Wonderful" groused Ron.

"It could be worse" said Hermione trying to stay positive.

"How?" the ginger twit asked.

*CrackaBOOM*

All present glared at the youngest Weasley son as the weather made a dramatic shift.

"You just had to ask" said Kimberly shaking her head at the dimwit.

"Sorry" said Ron trying his best to shrink out of sight.

…

The rain continued to pour even well into the night. Fortunately it only shifted two more times from frogs and toads to snails and slugs then to cats and dogs, because why not. Most of the older students had just shrugged it off, used to such nonsense by this point in their Hogwarts career. It was only the first and second year students who remained fascinated by the insanity falling from the sky.

Harry for his part was completely unfazed. He'd seen much stranger things in his first year at Hogwarts. This was nothing special. Even if it was kind of annoying that he could still hear the crack of thunder deep in the castle where his secret work room was. It made what he was doing all the more difficult.

"Now, three drops, no more no less" he murmured as he held the eye dropper over his cauldron.

It was a difficult art, Alchemy. It crossed over several branches of magic, some he'd never even heard of. As Penny explained it Alchemy was about enhancing things, making the mundane magical and the magical magnificent. She really had a way with words that Penny.

His first project was enhancing a basic healing potion into something much more potent. His cauldron simmered from inside an intricately drawn ritualistic circle as he added ingredients to the already prepared potion at certain intervals. It was a nail biting exercise in patience. One slip, a single mistake and the whole thing would be ruined and he'd have to start all over, that is after he scraped what was left out of his cauldron.

This idea did not appeal to him so he was being especially cautious in everything he did.

*CrackaBOOM*

A task made infinitely more difficult with the random thunder claps shaking the castle.

"Mwahahahahahahaha!"

"Oh for crying out loud" he knew that maniacal laugh.

He didn't know how she'd managed to magnify it to the point he could hear it where he was but that certainly didn't change its familiarity. One did not forget a Kimberly cackle. Merlin only knew what she was up to. Doubtless something to do using the weather but that was about all he cared to guess at. He was working against the weather.

He flinched over the cauldron as another thunder clap shook the castle but he managed to get the next ingredient into the mix without mishap. Just one more and a half hour to simmer and he'd be done, hopefully.

*CrackaBOOM*

"Mwahahahahahahaha!"

…

"Any luck?" asked Isolda as Helen plopped down at the table.

"None, not even a mention of it" said Helen.

"What about the restricted section?" asked Lorraina as she delicately turned the page of her book.

"Possible but doubtful" said Helen, "Even if there were it could take years to find it."

"What about the lost corners?" Ophelia inquired.

"Ha, sure if you like getting lost" said Helen with a laugh.

Lost corners was the name of the hidden place within the library. Most students had never even heard of it and those that had largely believed it to be a myth. Helen of course knew better. Lost corners she surmised was, in its day, intended to be the ultimate test of a dedicated student. Finding it was only half the problem. Inside was an ever changing labyrinth of shelves and stairs, one could easily get lost or boxed in if you weren't careful.

She suspected at one time it had probably been organized though that certainly wasn't the case now a thousand years later. From what little she'd been able to figure out on her short trips inside it had become a dumping ground for donated tomes the Headmasters didn't see fit to add to the library proper. The books of course shelved themselves as was part of the magic of the place but without any sense of rhyme or reason.

Finding anything remotely useful boiled down to sheer dumb luck. Finding something you were actually looking for would take nothing short of a miracle.

"I suppose it was probably a fool's errand anyway" Isolda muttered under her breath.

"Well look on the bright side, at least it's stopped raining" Helen observed.

"For now" Isolda allowed, "Any word on how much longer we can expect this to last."

"Two more days at least is what I heard" said Helen.

"Fantastic" the 'evil' witch grumbled.

…

"Better get going girl, before it starts up again" Harry said to his owl as he firmly attached her parcel.

"Preck" the noble raptor said before taking off with her package in tow.

"Who's that for?" asked Ron before filling his mouth with porridge.

"Just a sample for my independent study instructor to look over" he said returning to his breakfast now that his business was taken care of.

"Oo's at then" he asked through a mouthful of food.

"Honestly Ron don't talk with your mouth full" Hermione reprimanded.

"If he doesn't he'd never say anything" Seamus remarked which got a laugh from everyone at the table except Ron.

"Aw bite me Finnegan" he said after swallowing.

"Save it Ron, we've got Care again today and it's not raining this time" said Harry as he quickly polished off his breakfast.

"Don't suppose we'd get lucky and it start up again ya think?"

"I wouldn't count on it."

…

"Harry, we're mates right?"

"Yes Ron."

"So, you'd tell me if I was going round the twist right Harry?"

"Yes Ron."

"So, am I the only one seeing a chewed up looking troll with bits of metal nailed to it?"

"No Ron" said Harry staring at Kimberly's latest abomination, "At least that answers the question of what she was doing last night" he mumbled under his breath as the mad genius paraded around her Frankenstein troll.

"Where would she even get a troll?" Hermione asked not unreasonably.

Harry didn't know and he was pretty sure he didn't want to know either.


	10. On the edge

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter 09 – Ninjas, nuff said

…

"So this is how they've been getting in" said Furiko as she stared at the crack in the wall.

"Figures a bunch of rats would use a rat hole to get in" said Rhiannon waving her hand through the illusion to reveal the large sloping tunnel behind it.

"I wish we could have found this sooner" Furiko complained.

"We've all been pretty busy this year" said Harry sticking his head over the hole to get a better look.

Reminded of his presence Furiko looked decidedly pensive, "Harry you know I appreciate you coming down here but, I think Rhiannon and I should be good to handle this."

"Really?" Harry said giving her a searching eye that made her fidget like a nervous schoolgirl.

"It's just, well, I don't want you to get hurt" she confessed looking at him with dewy eyes.

"Well I don't want you to get hurt, so that makes us even" he said with a cocky grin.

Furiko looked ready to debate further if Rhiannon hadn't butted in, "can we just go already, there's ninja to kill and I'm getting bored."

"Must you really be so bloodthirsty?" Harry said with a disgusted look.

"I don't know must you really be such a sissy?" she shot back sarcastically.

"I wasn't aware not being a blood thirsty maniac made me a sissy" he countered angrily.

"Shows what you know then doesn't it, sissy."

Harry growled, Rhiannon growled, the two got right in each other's face.

"Call me sissy one more time and I'll put you over my knee and spank you" Harry threatened.

"I'd like to see you try" she snapped back.

"You're not so big I can't pipsqueak" he barked.

"Who're you calling pipsqueak sissy boy" she shouted back.

"Oh for Merlin's sake" cried Furiko, "let's just go already."

And with that she jumped down the pipe and vanished from sight.

The two looked after her with blank expressions.

"Well that certainly took longer than expected" said Harry calmly.

"She's gotten really stubborn this year, go figure" said Rhiannon with no sign of aggression.

"Shall we?"

"Why not?"

"Ladies first."

"Oh thank ye milord."

And with a hop skip and a jump Rhiannon disappeared down the pipe.

Harry shook his head, "cheeky little thing" he said before following after.

The tunnel was a long twisting slide as Rhiannon discovered and she shrieked with glee as she rode it down. The shriek took on a different tone when she saw the end coming up and the very long drop that followed.

"Aw crap aw crap aw crap" she chanted as she tried to find some purchase on the slippery tunnel.

She screamed as she shot out of the tunnel and then abruptly stopped when her momentum did the same.

"I got you" said Furiko with one hand firmly on her sword lodged in the wall and the other gripping the back of Rhiannon's pants.

"Thought I was in for a long drop there" she sighed with relief then paused, "wait, if you've got me who's gonna catch Harry?"

The answer of course was no one as the last Potter came shooting out of the tunnel like a radical rocket mere seconds after they heard him coming.

"Harry!" they both screamed.

Said Harry barely heard his name over the rushing of the wind. Being something of an adrenaline junky the free fall was hardly a terrifying experience for him, in fact it gave his plenty of time to have a look around.

The cavern was massive as evidence by the three story Japanese style castle at the far end and the village in front of it. Down in the village he could see dozens of people stopping what they were doing to look up at him. There were men and women and all of them were ninjas. You could tell because they all wore ninja outfits, just in different colors.

Harry thought it seemed kind of silly but then what did he know, he wasn't a ninja.

Though all that he saw did still beg the question, "Just how long have they been down here?"

Of course every ride must come to an end.

"Whoop, looks like the grounds commin up, better get my landing ready" he said to himself pulling out one of his cards.

[Blackwood Treent]

The people watching from below had a bit of a shock when the crazy man hurling towards them was suddenly blocked out by a brilliant light. They were further shocked when that brilliant light became a growing shadow. Most of them stopped being shocked and started being stunned when that shadow touched down like an angry meteor sending them all flying into or through the nearest solid object.

"Unbelievable" murmured Furiko as she watched the dust cloud rise.

"Now that is how you make an entrance" Rhiannon declared excitedly, "come on he's gonna start without us."

"You want me to drop you?" Furiko scolded trying not to do so despite the smaller girls squirming.

"Come on, the fight's already starting" she whined.

"Wait, what's that" said Furiko spotting a fast moving object headed their direction, "Is that a, Hippogriff?"

"It's Buckbeak" Rhiannon squealed.

The Hippogriff from their first Care of Magical Creatures class had been sentenced to death for putting Malfoy in his place. Harry had done the only thing he could to save him at the time. Now he was available whenever Harry needed him. It was a situation both had come to accept in a very short time. Especially in moments like this.

"Coming aboard" Rhiannon shouted as Buckbeak flew by below them.

There was a sudden drop in altitude as the hippogriff adjusted to their weight and then they were off, soaring over the village till they spotted their quarry. Harry was riding atop a giant tree person as it loped along toward the castle barely slowing down when the stray ninja would jump in its path or fling some manner of sharp pointy at it.

Harry stood braced against its branches shooting off the occasional fireball but otherwise allowing his mount to do the wrecking.

"Harry" Rhiannon shouted.

Harry looked up spotted them and waved. A few quick hand gestures said he'd meet them at the castle then he returned his attention to what he was doing. Following his instructions Buckbeak picked up altitude and made his course for the foot of the castle.

Furiko surveyed the area as they flew over with a growing sense of wrongness. Where was everyone? Apart from a few small pockets of attackers there was no one there. She'd been told there were supposed to be hundreds of them. Were they all in the castle? It was possible but it certainly didn't make much sense.

Buckbeak touched down at the bridge leading to the castle moments before Harry came thundering up on his woody mount.

"Well, I expected that to be much worse than it was" he said casually leaning against a branch.

To prove that the universe was in fact listening to the cocky little man the two nearest houses exploded as a pair of ninja riding two enormous cobras rose up through them.

"And now I feel stupid" he said realizing it was his fault for tempting fate.

"Finally, I was afraid I'd missed it all" said Rhiannon excitedly.

"Not to worry" said an unfamiliar voiced that drew everyone's attention, "we're just getting started."

Before them stood a ninja in blue, though unlike the others this one also wore several pieces of black colored armor and wore and especially ornate headband.

"Aokage" Furiko growled.

"Furiko-chan we've been waiting for you" the blue ninja said smugly.

"Who is we?" Rhiannon asked.

"Why don't you come inside and find out" he said with a wicked cackle and before any of them could move he vanished.

"Damn it. Come back here coward" Furiko shouted charging forward across the bridge.

"Uh should we, whoa!" Rhiannon exclaimed as a giant serpent tried to swallow her whole.

"Go" Harry shouted as his ride grappled with the other cobra, "I'll hold them here."

"You sure?"

"Positive" He shouted back charging up a lightning bolt and chucking it down the serpents throat.

Not needing any further prodding Rhiannon leapt once more over the striking snake then dashed after Furiko.

"We can handle this" Harry said mostly to himself, "but that doesn't mean we shouldn't even the odds a little bit" he continued pulling yet another card.

[Thrashing Black Treent]

The cobra was blinded by the flash of the summoning and regained its sight just in time to see the massive shape land with lethal force right square on its head. Of course since it was just a summon the blow didn't kill it simply dispelled it back to its own realm. The same could not be said for the ninja that had been riding on top of it.

"That's more like it" Harry said confidently, "let's wrap this up boys."

…

"What do you mean they're all gone?" Aokage shouted at his subordinate.

"There must have been a miscommunication sir" the lesser shinobi groveled, "Akakage took all the high level fighters and most of the Ashigaru out into the village through the hidden tunnels to meet the enemy."

"The enemy is already past the village. Furiko is in the castle and heading straight for us."

"What do we do sir?"

Aokage thought for a moment, "gather all the men left on this floor and bring them in here. We'll hold her here until Akakage realizes where the fight really is and joins us. Then we'll crush her between both our forces."

"Brilliant sir, it shouldn't take long for Master Akakage to realize where the fight is."

…

"Ya know Buckbeak, in hindsight I probably asked for this" said Harry as he and his three summons stared down the massive mob before them.

At the front stood a red clad ninja in the same sort of armor as the blue one Furiko had chased into the castle. Next to him was a pair of women in long sleeved white kimono splashed with red and white porcelain masks with wild black hair. On his other side was a ninja in black with white face paint and a look of deranged glee, like if the joke had put on black pajamas and dyed his hair black.

In the row behind them was another bunch of rather colorful looking characters and behind them were row upon row of cannon fodder in various colors. Harry wasn't sure how many of them there were but it didn't really matter, he was clearly outnumbered. So what else was new?

"You guys are a little late to the party" Harry said.

"The best people are always fashionable late" The red ninja replied.

"Nice comeback" Harry applauded, it was always nice to meet someone who could do proper banter.

The red ninja gave a little bow, "I am…" he started to say.

"Draco in Red pajamas" Harry cut in causing the unprepared shinobi to almost trip, "nah that's silly Draco would never wear that color. He's more a pink or baby blue sort of guy. Have you ever thought about wearing pink or baby blue?"

The red ninja glared at the rambling wizard "I am…" he started again.

"Stubby Boardman from the Hobgoblins. Oh my gosh, my godfather has all your albums."

"Would you shut up for two seconds?"

"Sorry" said Harry, "I get really awkward when I meet new people" he confessed bashfully.

The red ninja gave a derisive snort then started again, "I am Akakage, the Red Ninja, Scarlet Slasher, Crimson Curse, the Great Blood letter, Heir to the Red Wind school of Ninjutsu."

"Wow what a mouthful" Harry muttered, "Do you have to write down all of that every time you send someone a letter? And I thought Dumbledore had it bad."

"You… Impertinent little wretch" the Crimson Curse screamed.

"I've been called worse" said Harry with a dismissive wave.

It was hard to tell with the all covering outfit but Harry was pretty sure the ninja's face was probably red at that moment too. Or maybe purple, Vernon had always been good for a purple.

"I was going to simply allow you to stand aside but now" he said drawing his sword, "I will flay the flesh from your miserably body. I will grind your bones…"

"To make your bread" Harry offered.

The red ninja made several very angry sounds while looking like his head might just explode before shouting his command "Kill him!"

His subordinates surged forward followed more slowly by the ranks behind. Harry just grinned. It was stupid to provoke someone with an entire army behind him but really, what else was he going to do? Holding out his staff he began a transfiguration as his whole body, cloths and all, began to melt into a shiny silvery white color.

He'd learned a lot the previous year during his independent study of the animagus transformation. Not all of it involved learning how to turn into a fuzzy little flying rodent either. In fact it was probably the least useful thing he'd gotten out of the whole project. Learning how to turn himself into a titanium golem had so many more practical applications.

"Let's go boys."

…

"Curse you meddling little ack…" it was hard for him to finish his sentence with a sword at his throat.

"Enough small talk Aokage, I didn't come down here for you" said Furiko with her sword held under his chin as the blood of his subordinates dripped off the blade.

"Really Furiko I'm hurt" he managed to quip even with his head inches from decapitation.

"You'll be a lot worse than hurt if you don't tell me where he is" said Furiko with a look of deathly serious.

"You'll have to be more specific" he tried to be coy though rather failed as he was forced to stretch his neck to avoid having a blade shoved up the bottom of his jaw.

"You know who I mean, where is Akakage" she growled.

Aokage smiled. It was the smile of a man who knew he was dead but refused to quibble about it.

"Wherever you are not" he said.

"If that is all you have to say" her blade flashed "then I have no further use for you" she said.

Her blade clicked into its sheath just as his head hit the floor. His body followed moments later.

"Well, that was dramatic" said Rhiannon from her seat on top of the pile of bodies.

"He wasn't here" said Furiko "I was sure he'd be here."

"Maybe we just missed him" Rhiannon offered.

"No it wasn't just him. Aokage is just one of his subordinates. If he'd been here there should have been at least a half dozen others I didn't see."

"Well nothing we can do about it now" said Rhiannon being pragmatic "we should probably go see what Harry's been up to though."

"Harry!" Furiko shouted as she'd sort of forgotten about him in her single minded focus to capture Aokage.

Making a sharp turn toward the door she took one step and toppled over onto her face.

Rhiannon did her best not to snicker "you okay there Furiko?"

Furiko made a few weak attempts to pull herself along the floor "must, save, Harry."

Rhiannon shook her head and sighed "you are so lucky I'm your friend" said the energetic wolf girl as she pile her best friend onto her back and began the long agonizing trip down all the stairs they'd just come up.

…

"Hey girls, done already?" asked Harry as he saw them coming across the bridge.

"Hey Harry" Rhiannon greeted back "been waiting long?"

"Not terribly long" he said "made such a mess though I figured I'd tidy things up a little for the next people who decide to take up residence.

"Well that was nice, I guess" said Rhiannon as she set Furiko on the ground and took a look around.

The place was kind of a wreck, even more so than when they'd gone into the castle. Most of the houses had been partially if not wholly demolished. Buckbeak was trotting toward a pile of weapons with a small sword in his beak while the tree man Harry had ridden to the bridge was just finishing pushing something into the crevice under said bridge. And then there was a bigger meaner looking tree man sitting their smoking a pipe.

Rhiannon blinked, then once more "where'd he get the pipe?"

"One of them summoned this big toad that had it" said Harry.

"Ah" she nodded in understanding turning her attention fully to Harry which was the point at which she noticed something odd, "Harry were you aware there is a sword sticking out of your chest?"

"I was aware, yes" he replied.

Rhiannon nodded again "okay. Harry why is there a sword sticking out of your chest?"

"Because as it turns out one of them had a sword that could cut through titanium" he said.

"I see" she said with a sagely nod.

"Yeah imagine my surprise though I think he was probably more surprised when it didn't kill me, hard to tell what with the mask and all."

"Indeed. Would you like me to pull it out?"

"Would you really I'd so appreciate it. It's in a rather sensitive spot so I can't finish undoing the transfiguration till I can get it out and it just refuses to budge."

"Easy peasy" said Rhiannon grabbing the sword with both hand then jumping up to plant both feet on Harry's chest.

"So, what's with Furiko?" Harry asked as Rhiannon worked the sword out of his upper torso.

"She overdid it, that's all" said Rhiannon "I think she's moping a little too, didn't find who she was looking for."

"Who's that then?"

"Some, guy, whoa!" she exclaimed as the sword came free and she landed on her butt "named Akakage I think is what she said."

"Huh, funny name" said Harry as he transfigured the misshapen patch back into its proper form before reverting it to normal flesh.

"So, who stuck the sword in ya?" she asked as she examined the ninjato with the dark metal blade.

"Some guy in red pajama's" said Harry dismissively "had a whole bunch of names, I don't remember any of them though. You want that?"

"Nah" she said tossing him the short sword "not my style."

"Yeah, well we should probably get going. Those other schools are supposed to be here tomorrow."

"Start that stupid tournament" said Rhiannon sourly.

"You're just upset that you're too young to compete."

"I'd kick all their butts" she groused.

"I'm sure you would now grab Furiko and let's go, the sooner we find the hidden exit the sooner we can go to bed."

"How do you know there's a hidden exit?" she asked as she piggybacked the other girl again.

"I don't but if there isn't we've got a long climb ahead of us and I'd really rather not think about that right now."

Rhiannon nodded. That didn't really sound like all that much fun to her at the moment either.


	11. The price of complacency

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter 10 – The price of complacency

…

"Harry… Harry" no response "Harry are you alive?"

Neville had been trying to get a response from the last Potter for about five minutes. Harry had staggered in some time earlier, sat down at the table and promptly slammed his head onto it where it remained even now.

"Are we sure he's still breathing?" asked Lavender who happened to be sitting nearby.

"Yeah I can see his back move a little every time he takes a breath" said Neville it was the only reason he hadn't gone for Madam Pomfrey.

"Let's poke him" said Seamus with a disturbingly gleeful look.

"No" said Neville.

"Pull his head off the table" Parvati suggested.

With no better ideas Neville grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head back. A round of snickers had him taking a look to see Harry was out cold, completely unresponsive.

"Well that didn't work" he said dropping Harry's head then looking sheepish and apologetic as it slammed back into the table.

Everyone had a good laugh at him for that but Harry didn't even appear to notice.

"Mornin ya'll, what's up" Madysonne greeted as she joined her fellow Griff's.

"Harry's out and we're trying to wake him up" Lavender informed the American born girl.

"Ah, I know how to wake him up" she said pulling out her every handy cd player and a small carrying case, "I accidentally brought some of my brothers back with me this year" she explained, "this ought to wake him up."

Placing the headphones over his ears she pressed play and waited. And waited, and waited, and waited.

"It's not working" Lavender observed.

"It shouldn't work" said Hermione joining the group.

"Oh yes all behold the arbiter of Hogwarts. Please recite to us from the sacred text, Hogwarts a history" Madysonne proclaimed.

Hermione scowled at the Yankee girl but refused to dignify her taunting with a response.

"What's is problem?" asked Ron sitting down and immediately shoveling food onto his plate.

"We're trying to wake him up" Neville supplied.

"I was sure this would do it" said Madysonne looking at her cd player like some sort of Judas.

"Maybe it's just you" Ron said carelessly, then proceeding to fill his food hole.

Madysonne gave the youngest Weasley son a skeptical look, then her cd player "one way to find out" she said placing the headphones over Ron's ears "give me your honest opinion."

Ron didn't even have time for a startled "wuh?" before she hit the play button. Unlike Harry Ron had a very pronounced reaction, making several jerky articulations like a spastic mime before finally getting a hold of the headphones and ripping them off.

"What the bloody hell was that?" he shouted panting and panicked like he just run from a giant spider.

"My brother calls it death metal" said Madysonne retrieving her headphones, "so we know it works."

"But not on Harry" Neville reminded "he must be too far out."

Madysonne looked at Harry out cold then at her cd player then at Harry again. A look of dawning realization, she smiled.

"I know what he needs" she said thumbing through her options till she came to a disc labeled 'Mix #3', "this'll wake him up."

Once again she placed the headphones over his head and pressed play. And they waited, and waited, and waited.

"Still not working" said Parvati.

"Give it a minute" said Madysonne.

So they watched and waited. After a couple of minutes he stirred, his arms moving like they were made of lead landed on the table then with a mighty grunt he pushed himself up. His face was grim like a man ready for battle. He looked around then appeared dazed. He glanced up and, moving like a worn out zombie, removed the headphones.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Eye of the tiger" said Madysonne taking back her property "you're welcome."

"For what?" Harry asked still confused.

"You'd better eat Harry, we have class in twenty minutes and you are not skipping just because you stayed up all night" Hermione commanded sternly.

In his current state he might well have told her exactly where she could get off but that would require energy he simply did not have so, breakfast it was.

"What were you doing last night" Neville asked discreetly.

"Furiko" he groaned "no other entrance… climb… long way… carrying."

"Uh huh" Neville replied managing to make out absolutely none of what he'd just been told "well I hope you can stay awake in class."

"Those who refuse to learn history are doomed to repeat it" stated Hermione with absolute confidence.

…

"Harry stand up straight" Hermione ordered.

Harry snorted a bit as he wove in and out of consciousness somehow managing to remain on his feet despite having gotten no sleep all day despite his best efforts.

"What's his problem?" Serena asked as she gently pushed his swaying form toward Zuli.

"I don't know" her dark skinned friend replied gently pushing him toward Madysonne.

"Poor guy, I can think of somewhere he'd rather be right now" said Madysonne pushing him back toward Hermione.

"Will you all stop that" snapped Hermione as Harry drifted back her direction.

Her mood was not improved by the people around her snickering.

"Look alive people, here they come" someone shouted.

"I am alive" Harry shouted back then looked around confused "what were we talking about."

No one answered him as all eyes had been drawn skyward toward the flying coach or to the lake where a massive ship was rising up out of the water.

"You have to admit, they do know how to make an entrance" said a far too easily impressed Naoko.

"Meh" said Harry unable to be impressed by anything at that moment.

It wasn't until the students and their headmasters approached the congregated mass of Hogwarts that anything interesting happened. All at once every item of clothing in any house color transformed to pink and baby blue along with Dumbledore's already garishly colored robes. Actually for Dumbledore it was a modest improvement.

There were a few chuckles and titters from the guests but it was the natives that had the most dramatic reactions. The majority of the boys in Slytherin and Gryffindor began expressing their disgust quite vocally, some even ripping off their ties and other pieces of clothing that had once had their house colors. The Ravenclaws as a whole were twittering about how it was done, largely unperturbed by the choice of color.

The Hufflepuffs were the most telling however saying nothing just standing there grinning.

Harry of course took a few minutes to even notice anything had happened.

"Was my tie this color when I put it on?" he pondered aloud due to a lack of inner monologue caused by his sleep deprived state, "when did I put this tie on?"

"Oh Harry" said Hermione shaking her head while the other girls just tittered at how adorably dazed he was.

"Come on, they're moving inside" said Zuli taking Harry by the arm and leading him back into the castle.

"At this rate he'll be lucky to even make it through dinner" Serena joked.

…

"… Eternal glory shall be theirs" finished Dumbledore grandly.

"Have you heard of anyone who ever won this tournament?" asked Zuli.

"None come to mind" said Madysonne "Serena?"

"I'd never even heard of this tournament till I got on the train this year" said Serena "Harry?"

"Buuuuuuhfffppppp" Harry articulated while woodenly staring off into space.

"Wow he is just gone" giggled Serena waving a hand in front of the non-responsive Potter.

"He's not the only one" griped Hermione elbowing Neville who also had a case of the stares.

"Ow, what was that for" he whimpered like a kicked puppy.

"You know full well what that was for, honestly. How do you think that poor girl must feel with you drooling pigs staring at her everywhere she goes?"

"Who are we talking about?" Neville asked confused.

"Oh really" huffed Hermione as if she was going to be fooled by a boy playing dumb.

"I wish they would hurry this along" said Zuli "I am getting bored and we still need to get Harry up to the tower."

"We'll probably have to carry him at this point" said Madysonne looking at the zombie on her left.

"No worries, I have the perfect solution" said Serena with a grin.

…

Harry awoke the next morning feeling like an actual person again. He was stiff and he could still feel the bags under his eyes but he was at least cognizant again. He didn't remember how he got into his bed but he was grateful he'd somehow managed to make it. He thought about just going back to sleep but knew it would be futile. Even if Hermione let him his own body would refuse to let him sleep much longer.

The only thing that felt a little off was an odd weight on his right arm. Whatever it was it felt soft and smooth. He flailed for his glasses before finally getting a hold of them and lifted the covers off to see what had his arm.

What he saw didn't surprise him as much as it maybe should have. He had woken up to a girl in his bed before though not this one. Madysonne had a reputation as a sleep walker and had been in bed with every boy in fourth year, except Ron, which he took rather personally.

It was at that point that he felt a small body stir on his head. A quick glance revealed a silky long haired cat he knew from experience to be Serena. That explained how he'd gotten to bed. It didn't explain however why Zuli was very much naked under the covers. Even though he couldn't see the naughty bits from where he was he could still tell. He could also tell just how much trouble he'd be in if Hermione caught him like this.

"Zuli… Zuli time to wake up" he said whilst gently prodding her.

She gave a gentle moan before stretching herself out even further over him "just five more minutes" she mumbled cutely.

In five more minutes I'm going to be in a lot of trouble, thought Harry.

…

"Harry, we're mates right?"

"Yes Ron."

"And you'd tell me if I were imagining things, right Harry?"

"Yes Ron."

"Good, good. Harry?"

"Yes Ron?"

"Is there a girl sitting in Neville's lap snogging the daylights out of him?"

Harry considered for a moment the best way to answer that question "Yes Ron" he said.

Ron nodded woodenly "that is just not bloody right."

Harry shook his head at the ginger's jealousy. So Neville had a girlfriend, a real girlfriend. He really didn't see what the big deal was. He actually thought her amorous abandon was kind of funny.

"Paris, you might want to let him eat breakfast before it's all gone" said Harry.

The girl stopped her affectionate attentions to give him a quizzical look "you know me?"

"He has mentioned you" Harry offered while not going into detail.

She seemed to like this as she gave Neville one last peck before hopping off his lap onto the bench next to him. She did not however seem to like the spread before her judging by her expression upon seeing what she was expected to eat.

"I do not think I care for English food" she said looking mildly queasy.

"Eh? What's wrong with it?" demanded Ron through a mouthful of it.

"It all looks so bland and greasy" she said "I am used to lighter fare in the mornings."

"I'll mention it to the elves, see if they can't provide a few more options for you" Harry offered "you planning to be at our table most mornings?"

The French girl nodded and smiled.

"Thought as much" said Harry giving the still dazed Neville a knowing look which he didn't even seem capable of noticing.

Harry however was fully capable of noticing Hermione glaring at him. He was sure he'd be getting an earful about this later.

…

"Victor Krum."

The majority of the hall applauded as the first triwizard champion was chosen.

"Can you imagine it Harry, the fame, glory, the money?" said Ron with a glint in his eye.

"I'm good thanks" said Harry with far less interest, for this he could be doing a half dozen other things.

"Fleur Delacour."

Another round of applause as the Beauxbatons champion sauntered out of the room.

"I think you could take them Harry" said Zuli.

"So could you" Harry replied.

The dark skinned girl smiled "Yeah, your right."

"Cedric Diggory."

The hall exploded with the sound of Hufflepuff house cheering their champion. It helped make up for the fact everyone was no longer wearing pink and baby blue.

Attention began to wane as Dumbledore began to waffle on and Harry was getting ready to disappear himself when all attention was suddenly drawn back to the Goblet of Fire. A single scrap of paper was expelled and floated into Dumbledore's dumbstruck hand.

"Harry Potter" he said weakly.

"You have got to be kidding me" he said as all eyes in the hall turned on him.

Judging by the expression they were none too pleased. He totally understood. He was none too pleased either.


	12. Round table discussion

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter 11 – Round table discussion

…

"It's not a round table."

Kimberly scowled "I'm aware of that."

"That little note you sent me said this was to be a round table discussion" said Isolda with a superior smile.

"It's a figure of speech" Kimberly growled.

"Are there going to be snacks?" asked Naoko.

"Snacks would be nice" agreed Clementine.

"So what is this all about anyway?" asked Rhiannon.

"Yes your letter was rather vague about that" said Helen giving the other girl a searching look.

"I would think after last night it should be obvious" she said.

"How not round the table is" said Isolda with a smirk.

"It was all I could find on short notice, Alright!" Kimberly shouted glaring daggers at the antagonistic Slytherin.

"Just saying" Isolda said meekly playing like she was the victim.

Kimberly growled but refused to rise to the bait, taking a moment to calm herself before pressing on.

"All of you are here tonight because you share a vested interest in Mr. Guinea Pig… I mean Harry Potter."

"Does anyone else find it disturbing she refers to him as Mr. Guinea Pig?" asked Heather.

"It's a term of endearment, shut up" Kimberly yelled blushing only a little.

"So we're here to talk about Harry" said Xanthe sitting at the opposite end of the table nervously fidgeting.

"Yes" Kimberly exclaimed glad someone was staying on topic "after last night I think it's clear someone is trying to kill him yet again."

"Are we sure he didn't do it himself" asked Lorraina "just to prove himself to someone."

The majority of the room had the good manners not to openly speculate on who the girl with the diamonds and pearls thought he was trying to impress.

"Harry's not really into the whole 'proving himself' thing" said Madysonne.

"And I suppose all those death defying stunts on the Quidditch Pitch aren't him trying to prove something" said Isolda disdainfully.

"No" said Clementine "Harry just loves to fly. He does it for the thrill."

"Speaking from personal experience" Helen was not above snarking.

"He told me once last year" Clementine retorted.

"I believe her" said Zuli "Harry shy's from attention."

"Besides he couldn't have put his name in the cup, we were with him all night" Serena chirped as if that ended the discussion.

In fact it only opened the doors for a new discussion. Fortunately Kimberly headed that off before her little meeting got completely out of her control.

"Alright enough" she shouted red in the face "the point is it's not in Harry to do something like this which means someone else did it. And I think we can safely say they do not have his best interests in mind."

"Oh what's the big deal" said Isolda arrogantly.

"I feel I must agree" said Furiko demurely "I may have seen greater warriors but he's certainly far more than any of the other boys in this castle."

"And so yummy" said Heather licking her lips.

This comment got a dreamy look from several of those present as well as something less wholesome from a few of the others.

"If you don't mind my asking" said Elwen who had up till that time been silent "but why do you believe Harry to be in danger."

Shaking herself from her naughty daydreams Kimberly answered "because I've looked into the history of the triwizard tournament."

"And?" asked Clementine when she didn't extrapolate further.

"The last tournament held was a hundred years ago, no one won. In fact none of the champions even survived. The last tournament killed all three champions as well as two headmasters and a number of spectators when the cockatrice they were using for the event went on a rampage."

"They… they wouldn't do that this time would they?" Xanthe didn't even sound like she believed it.

"Even if they don't the entire history of the tournament is of champions being killed, eaten, or simply vanishing and given everything they've let into the castle since we've been here I can't really see them having any problem bringing a cockatrice into the tournament if they felt like it" said Kimberly with a grave look.

"So what do you propose we do?" asked Yarrow as she held her crystal ball in her hand stroking it like one might a cat.

"Destroy that stupid cup and just end the tournament" said Isolda flippantly.

"No I thought of that" said Kimberly "even if we could get a hold of it we'd have no way of destroying it. The standard method of kill it with fire I'm pretty sure would not be sufficient and even assuming we did there's no way to know if the magical contract it created would then be canceled as well. No, destroying the cup is not going to solve this."

"Sabotage the other schools" said the perky wolf girl.

"Rhiannon!" Furiko exclaimed causing the accused to look rather sheepish.

"No it's not important that he wins" stated Kimberly "just that he survives, with all his important parts."

Avoiding any remarks about which parts the mad genius thought were important, "So you want us to what, help him, train him?" queried Helen.

"Whatever it is we can't let him know we're doing it" said Madysonne.

"Why not?" asked Naoko innocently.

"He wouldn't appreciate it" she explained "boys are weird that way."

"Well I really don't care what happens to him" Isolda stated superiorly as though daring anyone to contradict her.

So naturally someone did, "Really" said Yarrow with a knowing look "that's rather funny coming from the girl the picture of Harry under her pillow."

"How did you know that… uh, I" she said before she'd even realized she was talking.

"You keep his picture under your pillow" Madysonne snickered.

"What's so weird about that?" asked Rhiannon "I have a picture of Harry."

"But you don't keep it hidden under your pillow" reminded Furiko.

"She kisses it to" said the gloomy Ophelia receiving a betrayed look from Isolda.

"Every night before she goes to bed" Lorraina confirmed earning her a look as well.

It with these accusations and the snickers that followed that Isolda realized she was the center of attention. She could deny it, say they were all lying what did they know? Instead she cracked and the dam burst.

"Alright it's true" she shouted, "I'm over the moon for him. Every time he looks at me with those defiant green eyes I get all melty inside. It's not fair, it's not but I can't help it he just makes me feel all warm and gooey like I want to have his babies."

With this final declaration she looked around and realized she might have been a little too honest.

"Well, when you put it that way" said Helen with a crimson blush, cutely biting her lower lip.

"Yummy" Heather reiterated her earlier statement.

"He is really sweet" agreed Naoko thinking back on her own experiences with Harry.

"Delicious" agreed Zuli with a restrained look of lust, like restrained with chains.

"Oh my" was all Xanthe could manage as most of her blood seemed to have been redirected to her cheeks.

"Yes, yes, very good, of course my interests in him are purely scientific" stated Kimberly.

"Says the girl with the Harry Potter shrine in her trunk" Yarrow pointed out.

Now it was Kimberly's turn to be the center of attention.

"Alright so he gives me the warm gooey's too, shut up" she shouted practically glowing red "All in favor of helping our Harry say aye!"

"AYE!" the room echoed.

"So what exactly are we going to do?"

…

"Did anyone else just have a shiver of dread run up their spine" Harry asked as he sat in his tub surrounded by his compatriots.

"Nope" said Orion who lounged nearby.

"Dobby is not thinking so" said the little elf as he soaked his feet just happy to be included.

"Hmm, just my imagination I suppose" he foolishly believed, "so as we were saying."

"Dobby is still not understanding Harry Potter sirs concern" said the little elf, "Harry Potter sirs is more than match for silly tournament."

"I have to agree with the elf on this one" said the feline "You'll be putting more effort into not looking like your hardly trying than in actually trying."

"Acknowledged, but that's not what has me concerned" he said.

"Then what does?" asked Orion.

"I didn't put my name in the goblet of fire. I never even went close to the thing. So how did it get in there?"

Orion looked thoughtful as he pondered the question, an interesting sort of expression on a cat "foul play obviously, someone or someone's wanted you involved. That then begs the questions who, and why?"

"Precisely" said Harry with a grim look determination.

"What does Harry Potter sirs wish Dobby to do?" asked the little elf.

"For now just keep your ears open. We don't have any answers, I'm not even certain we have all the questions yet. The last thing we want to do is go running off halfcocked."

Dobby nodded his floppy little head.

"And what about me?" asked Orion his tail swishing back and forth revealing his agitation.

"You and I are going to start eliminating suspects" said Harry casting a pointed glance at the out of place sack sitting nearby "starting with this year's beloved history teacher."

The feline nodded also glancing at the sack "you think he did it."

"No, but I'd rather be certain than find out later I was wrong" he said.

The three all nodded, on this they were in complete agreement.


	13. Gathering intelligence

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter 12 – Gathering Intelligence

…

There was one thing Harry especially appreciated in his teachers, regularity. The knowledge that they would always be in a certain place at a certain time without fail, it was comforting in its way. Professor Barite had, in the few weeks he'd been at Hogwarts, proven to be just such a person, regular. So it was no surprise at all that at precisely seven thirty, even without a class till the afternoon, the man walked into the room.

"Good Morning Professor" Harry greeted casually.

"Wah, oh Mr. Potter, good morning" he said after a brief start.

"Did I startle you?" Harry asked with a grin.

"A little bit I must confess" the studious bespectacled man said "what can I do for you this morning Mr. Potter?"

Harry watched the man with an eagle eye as he too casually went to his desk and began spreading out his books "well you know, recent events have forced me to reconsider my priorities which have led me to moving certain items up on my list."

"Ah, I see…" no he didn't.

"To put it plainly sir" said Harry "with this whole tournament nonsense now hanging over my head I'm left to wonder who is responsible and thus here we are."

"Are you implying I was somehow involved in that little fiasco?" the man seemed genuinely surprised.

"That is what I'm here to find out" he said with a grim expression.

"I am more than a little insulted you would think I would ever intentionally put one of my students in harm's way" the professor appeared outraged.

Harry had to give the man credit, to be able to say that with a straight face.

"That's funny given what you've done since your arrival 'General'."

For a moment the mask dropped and Harry thought the man might choke.

"I don't know what you mean, general what general" it was a weak comeback, they both knew it.

"Let's not play games shall we, I know you've figured out what I am and I had you pegged the moment I stepped into your first class" said Harry folding his arms and staring at the man with a superior smirk.

Seeing the jig was up the dark haired man removed his glasses, giving a malicious grin "you have some nerve coming in here, calling me out. So what now? Are you going to kill me?" there was just a hint of the manic in his tone as he asked.

"Not today" said Harry "at least not if my informant was correct" he continued stepping to the side to reveal a common looking sack tied at the top.

"And what is that supposed to be?" Barite asked unimpressed.

"My informant" said Harry undoing the strings then grabbing the bag by the bottom and hurling its contents onto the floor.

The contents rolled then slid across the smooth stone till the long blonde ponytail came to a stop right at Barite's feet. He looked aghast as the all too familiar face of his assistant looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Celestine" he said.

"Master" she quivered "I'm sorry."

"What have you done to her" the older man growled his aura becoming visible with his rage.

"Just asked her a few hard questions" said Harry holding up his wrist to reveal a plain metal band "also, I gave her a pretty new necklace."

He pressed a single finger to the band and the girl began to choke drawing attention to the simple silver circlet around her throat.

"What, no stop, what are you doing?" Barite demanded in a panic.

"I've met youma who could survive a simple decapitation" said Harry conversationally "I wonder if dear Celestine is one of them."

"No, please, stop" the man begged even as the woman at his feet continued to struggle fruitlessly.

Harry removed his finger from the band and her struggles ceased. Harry approached the two as the woman lay panting on the floor barely aware of her surroundings.

"Now that we understand one another" Harry said grimly staring at the man with glowing green eyes "a brief but frank conversation if you please."

…

"So it wasn't him" said Orion as he perched on Harry's shoulder.

"No."

"Well you didn't really think it was him anyway" said the cat.

"I didn't."

Orion looked at his mount curiously "something bothering you Harry? You've been very terse ever since you left there."

Harry sighed. There was more than a bit of anger in the sound "what did I do in there Orion."

"I'm not sure I understand the question" the cat confessed.

"I tortured her. She was already down, no threat at all and I intentionally caused her pain without so much as flinching. What kind of scum does that?"

Now Orion understood "Harry" he said gently "I know it may be hard to see it from here but you have to realize we are at war."

Harry stopped walking. Orion waited a moment to see if he would speak but when he didn't the cat pressed on.

"People do things there not proud of in a war. It isn't because their bad people, the fact that this bothers you proves that. War is a wretched thing. It forces us to do wretched things. We can only hope that at the end of it all it hasn't managed to turn us wretched as well."

"I still feel like a crumb" said Harry.

"You could have just killed her" said Orion "sometimes the only choice is just the least worst choice."

Harry sighed. It was a deep depressing sound "I never really thought of this as a war you know" he said "It never seemed so big as that."

"I've been in it long enough to see the full scope in a way you haven't" Orion admitted "but I totally know what you mean. This recent stuff doesn't feel like a real war most of the time."

"And the way he reacted, have you ever seen a general act that way with a youma?"

"No, I haven't" said Orion hopping down to the floor, "so maybe things will go differently with this one."

"Ya think?" Harry asked with just a hint of hope.

"Only time will tell. Till then though you have a fan incoming."

Harry looked back to see the approaching Creevey even as Orion scampered off. Wonder what he wants this time, Harry thought.

…

Ludo Bagman walked through the halls of Hogwarts with a smile on his face. It was a nostalgic walk, remembering better days before he'd gotten himself into so much trouble with such dangerous individuals. Those carefree days when the most taxing thing he had to was some report or another for this and that teacher who at worst would look at him sternly and shake their heads.

Yeah those were the days.

"Mr. Bagman."

Ludo stopped, suddenly aware of the person in his path "Can I help you miss?" he was too surprised to even turn on the usual 'charm' he liked to apply.

"I just had some questions I needed to ask you" said the girl he now identified as being from Slytherin "It will all be over more quickly if you don't struggle."

"Huh!?"

…

Ludo Bagman walked through the halls of Hogwarts with a smile on his face. It was a nostalgic walk, remembering better days before he'd gotten himself into so much trouble with such dangerous individuals. Those carefree days when the most taxing thing he had to was some report or another for this and that teacher who at worst would look at him sternly and shake their heads.

Ludo stopped in his tracks. Something was off he thought. He looked around feeling that odd sense of déjà vu he sometimes got when walking alone down Knockturn alley. He checked his wallet to see that nothing was missing.

From a hidden place several sets of eyes watched the ministry official pat himself down several times before shaking his head and going on his way.

"Well that was informative."

"To bad he wasn't the one who put Harry's name in the goblet."

"No matter, that wasn't what we were after anyway."

"So Kimberly was right, they really are that crazy, I mean 'dragons' seriously."

"Meh, I could take 'em."

"Of course you could Rhiannon."

"Are you saying I couldn't bitch?"

"Who are you calling bitch puppy?"

The two girls growled at each other like a pair of dogs looking ready to strike until "Rhiannon, Isolda, please."

The two territorial girls looked at the quivering third in their party, then back at each other.

"Another time" said Rhiannon.

"You're just lucky Xanthe stopped me" said Isolda with a haughty flip of her hair.

Seeing a swift return of hostilities if she didn't do something "so how are we going to let Harry know about the dragons?" she pondered aloud.

…

"I swear I saw them."

"Saw what?"

"Dragons."

Harry stopped in his tracks just short of turning the corner. He recognized Clementine talking in her usual loud and boisterous way. He was pretty sure the other voice he'd heard was Madysonne but he wasn't entirely certain.

"What are you kidding me?"

Yep definitely Madysonne he thought.

"I was out for a fly, what with there being no Quidditch this year and what should I see out by the forest but this huge gout of flames. Well obviously I had to investigate and what do I see but four great big dragons."

That didn't sound good Harry thought.

"Four dragons just sitting there?"

"No, no they were chained up. It looked like there was a bunch of people scurrying around them too."

'Dragon handlers' was Harry's first thought which neatly led to the second. They must be for the tournament. If it were something else, like any other sort of threat to his life, they'd have been a lot more discreet.

Turning back the way he had come he began to ponder in earnest. What did he have that could wrangle a dragon. This required further investigation.

…

"You think he got the message?" asked Clementine.

"Sure looked like it" said Ophelia as she faded back into view.

"Well done there lookout" Madysonne complimented.

"Oh, well, it was nothing really" Ophelia stuttered with a terrible blush, not at all used to people saying nice things to her.

"So, info passed on, now what" asked Clementine.

Madysonne looked thoughtful for a moment, "Huh, heck if I know."


	14. Tools available

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter 13 – The tools available

…

It was a small trunk, rectangular in nature twice again long as it was wide or high. The seams were brass as were the clasps it was only the lock that was iron. A simple looking thing by any standard but that's what Harry liked about it, it was simple, common, unspectacular. It was the sort of thing no one would give a second glance if it wasn't shoved right in front of them.

That was what made it perfect, it was just like him, a common looking thing but inside… well, that was an entirely different story.

Squirreled away in his secret room he opened this inconspicuous little trunk and began to empty out its treasures onto a mat on the floor. There were all manner of objects, each and every one with a story. Each and every story was a part of his story seeing as these were all artifacts that he had, if not created then at least used at one point.

A small silver bell brought a smile to his face. That had been from second year. So had the ivory flute, not of his creation but something he had earned from his music teacher, an old portrait in the abandoned music room.

A small wicker ball made him chuckle as he remember the rambunctious little spirit once held within and all the mischief it had caused when it escaped. It was a welcome change from a year that had been much too heavy.

Speaking of heavy, a simple black crystal pulsing with energy made him frown. It was the heart of a youma, the center of their being, the thing that allowed them to exist on the physical plane. This one was wrapped in a powerful shield preventing it from either taking new form or simply shattering as it would normally do. He had kept it like this in order to study it so as to better understand the creatures and combat them.

Yet another project getting pushed to the back burner because of this stupid tournament he thought.

A small silvery colored buckler came next. It was a simple looking thing but it had been polished to a magnificent sheen. It was his magic bouncer. He'd used it when he was first helping Naoko a.k.a. Sailor Asteroid belt fight the Youma in their third year. Of course she had eventually decided it was too dangerous for him to do so since he didn't have super star powers like she did.

Fortunately Orion had been far smarter than his mistress and the two of them had concocted the charade of the Masked Gentlemen to get around her ridiculous protests. She still didn't know it was him which said nothing good for the girls observation skills, especially after how torn up his 'disguise' had been when they'd finally taken the fight to the big boss and put an end to that threat for good.

Or so they had thought… sigh.

He stopped removing items for a moment and reached behind his ear. The story of the monkey king had been something Furiko had introduced him to. A fantastic story one of the few times he had ever bothered or in fact had the chance to read for leisure. But given the trouble that had come after Furiko that year he had used The Monkey King as inspiration. Learning to use the staff had probably been harder than the actual making of it but both had been well worth the trouble.

Placing this next to his other items he dove back into the trunk pulling out bits and bobs from the past two years, each with a story or misadventure attached to it till finally he came to one last item, a small leather case with a long strap and a simple clasp. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a circular dish with a large knob on the bottom. It was decorated with intricate circles and runes. The two items went together.

Opening the case he removed the cards contained within laying them out in a very specific order. This was Kumbra's magic. He had discovered her grimoire in his first and only trip into Lost Corners, a place like the Chamber of Secrets that few believed even existed, but did. It was the hidden library, the ultimate test of an ambitious, intelligent, courageous, and hardworking student. At least that's what it was supposed to be, what it had become was a dumping ground for things the headmasters deemed unwanted or too questionable to place even in the restricted section.

Kumbra, a mostly self-educated witch had created a magic that she had used to trap people that annoyed her in simple card like artifacts. The danger of this of course was in overcoming their will. Doing this with muggles was no problem as they had no magic with which to bolster their will and fight back. Wizards however were different and had been the demise of Kumbra but not her work. He didn't know how the Blacks had come by her Grimoire nor why they had donated it to Hogwarts but he did have a pretty good idea why it had wound up in Lost Corners.

Despite the somewhat questionable nature of how she had chosen to use it Harry had envisioned something else, given his earlier encounter that year, and had eagerly spent all his free time for two weeks working to replicate what Kumbra had created. And he succeeded. His first card was a small bird, simple yet sufficient to prove the theory and test the dish which was what he used to ensnare and trap the target in the card.

His second card, the White Rock Ogre, had been a spur of the moment thing with a one off opponent of Sailor Asteroid Belt. She had appeared out of nowhere, tried to set up something to create a portal to her home dimension, and after failing to do that tried to take her anger out on the two of them. The ogre had been one of her minions left over afterward. Harry had found the massive golem just sitting docile by the lake, without its master it had no purpose or direction so it had essentially gone dormant.

Harry of course had found a use for it. When their mainstream baddy had found a new way for making minions and tested it on one of the trees in the forbidden forest he had almost been smashed by the Blackwood Treent. The White Rock Ogre had been the thing that turned the tide as it was immensely strong and a surprisingly skilled grappler, it held the Treent in place long enough for Harry to capture it.

It proved itself yet again when the dark general had decided to up the stakes by strengthening not only the technique but the bas material as well thus the Whomping Willow became the Thrashing Blackwood Treent. Considerably larger and infinitely more vicious it had taken both of his big summons as well as his own considerably efforts to even slow the thing down, capturing it had really been a stroke of luck more than anything.

That of course led neatly into the utter cluster fuck of a temporal nightmare where he had gone through the same couple of hours over and over again at least a dozen times finally putting Kumbra's magic to his original intent and capturing a dementor. Then in the fifth iteration he did it again and once more in the seventh. The trick was they were different dementors each time so when things finally snapped back into place, consequently creating Helen in the process, he was left with not one but three dementors stowed away in his cards.

They of course would remain there indefinitely as he had no intention of ever using them. Of course just because he didn't intend to didn't mean he wouldn't at some point and he realized this much in the same way he realized his most recent capture was likely crossing a moral line. Skipping over the Rogue of the Loch, Scarlet Fairy Swarm and the three cards with Mimic in their name, he came to a card with the image of two women in white kimono and porcelain masks.

Gemini Assassins the card was titled. The two ninja girls who had stood with the red ninja had been taken out of the fight early and to his shock had been basically unhurt when he found them later. It had been a split second decision that had mostly come down to his not wanting to murder them now that the fight was over but not trusting they wouldn't murder him if he didn't do something with them. So he had.

At that moment he felt tired, tired of violence, tired of fighting. And yet here he was going over his options in order to find a way to overcome a dragon.

Sure there were lots of ways he could do it and without an audience he'd readily chose any one of them. That was the kicker though, there would be people watching, lots of people. Not only did that limit the amount of damage he could allow but it also ruled out anything he didn't want people to know he could do.

Kumbra's magic was rule right out which severely limited his options. Trying to fight the thing head on was possible but it hardly made sense and it was certainly the most risky maneuver. For a moment he considered just jumping on his broom and trying out fly the beast but no that was just silly.

He kept looking over the items on the mat. Again and again he looked till, for no real reason, they stopped on the flute. He'd trained intensively with it the previous year and was ashamed to admit after leaving Loch Ness early that summer hadn't touch it since.

It hadn't done much to help then but there were extenuating circumstances involved there. Yes, the more he looked at the more he like the idea. He was tired of violence, tired of fighting. Why not try a different approach for once?

"This calls for a refresher course" he said putting everything back but the flute and stowing the little trunk before heading for the music room.


	15. Stacking the odds

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 14 – Stacking the odds

…

"Kimberly are you sure this is going to work?"

"If I knew it was going to work it wouldn't be called an experiment would it" Kimberly replied "stop whining Xanthe, what's the worst that could happen?"

"I don't know. What is the worst that could happen?" the timid girl practically squealed.

"Contact" Kimberly ignored her and flipped the switch.

"Kimberlyyyyyyyyy" her scream was drown out by the sound of the power rising as it roared around her.

"Yes, yes, I am the greatest genius in the world" and she followed this declaration with a mad cackle.

She likely would have continued cackling if the whole thing hadn't chosen that moment to go completely out of control in a swirling maelstrom of energy, followed shortly after by a castle shaking explosion.

…

"Albus, did you feel that just now?"

"Feel what Minerva?"

"It was like the whole castle jumped a little."

"Hmm."

"Albus?"

"Yes Minerva?"

"The castle."

"What about the castle?"

"Oh, never mind."

The crafty old codger smiled and returned to his paper. Responsibility dodged yet again.

…

"Well" said Kimberly stopping a moment to cough out a trio of black smoke clouds "that could have gone worse. Xanthe, you still alive?"

The groan she received was sufficient response.

"Oh good, well let's have a look at you… oh my" Kimberly backpedaled the moment she saw what her 'experiment' had done.

"What? What is it?" the timid girl demanded.

"Well, I suppose it's not 'that' bad I mean…" it was hard to lie right to her face but it was either that of fall down on her knees and start laughing.

"What, what did you do to me" she started feeling all over herself looking for something missing or something extra.

When her hands stopped on her hair Kimberly snickered and as the dawning look of horror began to creep across her face she just couldn't hold it in any longer. She fell to her knees and started laughing while Xanthe ran to find the closest mirror to reveal that yes her hair was sticking up like the bride of Frankenstein and yes, it was also lime green.

…

"Albus, did you hear that?"

"Hear what Minerva?"

"That ear piercing scream like a thousand young boys being kicked in the gonads."

"Hmm, Mr. Malfoy perhaps."

"Well, don't you think you ought to do something?"

"I'm sure Severus will deal with Mr. Malfoy."

"That's what you always say."

"If the records not broke don't change it."

…

"I'm telling you Furiko you need to relax."

"How can I relax?" the girl with the sword demanded as she paced around her room "Harry has to fight a dragon tomorrow, a dragon."

"I seriously think you're making way too big a deal out of this" said Rhiannon.

"How can you not be the least bit worried, he could die!" Furiko exclaimed.

"I am worried" Rhiannon retorted as she lounged on her bed "I'm just not freaking out like you are."

"Well why not?" Furiko demanded somewhat childishly.

"Because I have faith in Harry" she shorter girl said smugly.

"I have faith in Harry" Furiko insisted petulantly "It's just, what if he gets hurt?"

"Wouldn't be the first time" Rhiannon pointed out fairly.

"I know" Furiko shouted "do you know how many times he has almost been killed since we met him?"

"Honestly Furiko you're acting like he's some kind of delicate flower that'll wilt and die if you breathe on him too hard."

"I just… I just wish I could do something to help" she confessed miserably flopping down on her bed.

"Like what?"

"We… we could train together!"

(Warning! You are now entering the girlie fantasy zone. Warning!)

There we'd be, just the two of us squaring off, staring deeply into each other's eyes. A single moment, a flurry of motion, a sword flies into the air only to clatter to the ground.

"You got me" he'd say.

"I've got you" I'd say.

In a single motion he'd bat my sword away and grasp me tight.

"Now I've got you" he'll say in a husky whisper.

"And what are you going to do with me?" I'd say.

He'd throw me down onto the mat, climb on top of me and kiss me roughly while I gave in to his wanton passion. Then he'd tear off my cloths and… and.

…

"What, and what?" Rhiannon demanded.

But no response came. Her friend merely giggled and rolled around on her bed completely lost in her little fantasy.

"Typical, just when it was getting good."

…

Four shadows slunk through the darkness. Their target was not difficult to locate. Even at the midnight hour there were a dozen men roaming around them just in case. And who could blame them really, one went about ignoring a dragon at their own peril.

"Alright, one last check before we do this."

"Are you sure this is a good idea Isolda?"

"Stop whining Lorraina."

"Shut up Helen, I am not whining."

"Girls please" said Isolda testily "Lorraina stop whining, we all agreed to do this, for Harry."

"We're certain this potion you've put in the meat will work?" asked Ophelia.

"As sure as I can be without testing it" said Helen not at all pleased at not being able to test it.

"That'll have to do" said Isolda "Now, everyone has their meat" she asked holding up her bag.

Three other bags were raised into the air.

"Alright, I'll take the Green, Ophelia you take the Fireball, Helen the Short snout, Lorraina you get the Horntail."

"Why do I have to do the Horntail?" Lorraina protested.

"Because I said so" Isolda snapped "Now clam up and let's do this."

Sneaking between the dragon handlers they approached the chained up dragons. One by one they peeled off to approach their dragon. The bags had been specially made to hold in the smell until opened, given the dragons powerful olfactory sense it only took a few moments before the scent of blood and fresh meat had the dragons stirring.

Isolda placed her meat in front of the sluggish dragon and backed away quickly. Helen and Ophelia did the same without incident but when Lorraina went to place her meat down she was greeted by a gout of flame. Fortunately for all of them her scream of terror was drown out by the roar of the dragon. Unluckily for her was the fact grass stains are a bitch to get out but thanks to Helens quick wand dragging her across the lawn she would have the opportunity to complain about it.

Aroused by the dragons roar the handlers raced to see what was the matter but it was too late. The evidence was long gone and the perpetrators were nowhere in sight.

And so the stage was set. The following day would see the result. Harry however was unconcerned, he had his plan, and his backup plan, and his backup backup plan. He wouldn't be losing any sleep over so minor a thing as a dragon that night.


	16. The music in me

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 15 – The music in me

…

Harry awoke that morning with a reflex. The shoe was caught in his hand and flung back before he had even achieved consciousness.

"Time to get up you stupid ber…" was as far as Ron got when the shoe made impact.

Harry grinned a little. Ron had drawn several absurd conclusions with his name coming out of the goblet and had been nothing but a royal pain in the ass since. As such Harry felt no shame in hitting him in the head with a flying shoe.

"Morning Ron" he said much too nicely "Morning Neville" he said spotting the other boy looking very nervous as he dressed.

"Morning Harry" the other boy almost squeaked.

Harry gave a knowing grin "Good Morning Paris."

The startle squeak told him all he needed to know even as Neville went absolutely rigid like he'd been petrified. A nervous nose poked out followed by a face and Paris gave a nervous little wave.

Harry could only chuckle "you two are going to get caught one of these times" he said.

…

"So, you just need to relax Harry."

"Yes Furiko."

"Cuz it's not gonna do you any good to be tense."

"I know Furiko."

"And you know if you need anything like…" she cut off as Rhiannon grabbed her by the ear.

"Good luck Harry" she shouted as she dragged her anxious friend to the stands.

"Thanks Rhiannon" in more ways than one he thought as he strode into the tent.

…

"So just stick your hand in the bag and pull out your dragon."

Harry waited till last seeing each of the others dragons selected till all that was left was "the Horntail" he said pulling out the angry looking miniature.

"Well just wait till we call you."

"Nervous?" Harry asked looking at Cedric as he fidgeted.

"Maybe a little" the older boy confessed "You?"

"Not really" Harry said lying down on one of the cots.

"And what makes you so confident?" asked Krum hiding his own insecurities with anger.

"Not my first big angry beast" said Harry nonchalantly as he ignored the miniature trying to set him on fire.

"You ave faced beasts before?" asked Fleur her usual haughtiness replaced by nervousness.

"Yeah, my first year there was that Cerberus that was a bit harrowing" said Harry with a smile of fond remembrance "then in my second year there was the basilisk down in the Chamber of Secrets."

"Wait, that was true? I know there was all that fuss about it but I thought it was all just a really nasty joke" said Cedric.

"Nope, totally true" said Harry "the corpse should still be down there come to think of it. I should probably do something with that before it rots away completely" he mused aloud.

The other three champions looked at the youngest among them unsure whether to believe him or not. It all seemed too fantastic to be true even for wizards.

…

He emerged from the tunnel and shielded his eyes from the light. Immediately he started looking for his dragon. It didn't take long to find as he was suddenly assailed by flame.

He jumped and ran trying to put distance between them but the mother dragon made this a difficult task, doggedly pursuing him wherever he went. He needed some room to work but she wasn't going to give it to him. He was going to have to take it.

Landing on the next big rock he turned and cast, a brilliant flash and a loud bang sent the dragon away from him. She didn't go far however, not that she could the ring wasn't very large. It was enough though.

The roar of the crowd was swiftly drowned out under a dome of silence. No sound from outside the ring could be heard inside. The dragon noticed this and shifted anxiously. She knew something was happening but couldn't determine from where. Defensively she shifted back around near her eggs never losing sight of Harry.

That was fine. Harry needed her attention on him anyway.

Placing his wand behind his ear he reached into his vest and pulled out the small ivory flute.

The entire audience watched, many hurling insults that the champion could not hear as, from their perspective, he just stood there doing nothing. Of course that nothing was clearly having an effect on the dragon. As the minutes passed she became more and more lethargic. She roared less, her pacing all but ceased and her head began to droop like under some great weight.

Eventually it happened, the mother dragon curled up around her eggs and went to sleep. The audience booed and hissed but the champion made no indication he could hear them. With a few deft waves of his wand the golden egg sank into the ground and emerged right at his feet.

Taking the egg he gave a gentlemanly bow to the dragon before striding out of the ring.

Furiko watched her mouth agape.

"And you were worried" snarked Rhiannon smugly.


	17. Fallout

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 16 – Fallout

…

"He cheated, he must be disqualified."

"He should never have been allowed to compete in the first place."

"Seems to me you're just jealous he did a better job than your student."

"Oh well I never."

"Oh I'm so sure."

The great Albus Dumbledore sat listening to his deputy and the visiting Headmasters argue over his most interesting students' performance. He really had to hand it to the young Potter, he'd dealt with his abysmally low score with no more than a shrug and the sudden assailment by Rita Skeeter and her camera man was dealt with like a true professional. It was actually a bit worrisome.

This was not the boy-who-lived that he needed for his plans. When Voldemort returned and he would, there was no doubt in his mind about that, he would need a Harry who would trust him implicitly, seek him out for wisdom and guidance, not this independent Harry who handled the press like a seasoned politician. No this simply wouldn't do, he'd have to take a more direct interest in the young man's education. Just as soon as the blasted tournament was over and all the extra eyes were no longer roaming all over his castle.

…

"So, bet your feeling pretty good aye Potter?"

Harry looked at the blonde with too much in his hair then went back to his breakfast "I'm still alive, got all my pieces where they should be, suppose I can't complain."

"Couldn't handle dealing with a dragon like a real wizard, had to cheat like a…"

The young Malfoy never got to finish his sentence because he found a stone face Potter suddenly invading his personal space.

"Like a what Draco?" Harry said barely an inch away from the now terrified Slytherin "had to cheat like a what?"

Draco stammered and stuttered while trying to back away only to come up against a wall that was Crabbe and Goyle.

"You know I don't think you even know what a real wizard is but ya know what, that's your problem don't go making it mine" Harry growled at the cowering boy "now scamper off I've wasted enough time on you for one day."

And with that he turned his back and returned to his seat. It took a few moments for Draco to stop simpering and when he did he began sputtering. Grabbing for his wand he was suddenly stopped by a hand on his arm.

"Draco" was all the warning he got before the crushing pain erupted in his family jewels "I can't believe we're having this discussion again" said Isolda holding him up by the chin "you see that, that there, that is mine" she stated referring of course to Harry "and since I don't like sharing what is mine, you stay away from it."

Releasing his chin she gave him a sharp boot in the ass followed by a banishing spell that sent him sliding across the floor and out of the great hall. One look and Crabbe and Goyle followed him but on their own power.

"Some people just will not learn" Isolda tutted and began walking away.

"Staking your claim are we Isolda" said Harry without even turning to look at her.

"If anyone is going to make your life miserable Harry, it's going to be me" she said with a sly grin.

He glance behind him in her direction "really, and here I thought I'd have to put a ring on your finger first" and with a shrug he turned back to his breakfast pretending he hadn't seen the blush that lit up her cheeks.

…

"So, overall that turned out about as well as I could have hoped" said Harry.

"That dome of silence was very impressive, I couldn't hear a thing" said Orion.

"Or Dobby" said the big eared little elf.

"But the dragon did and that's what mattered" said Harry taking a slug of his protein shake "that leaves us until February to figure this out" he said patting the egg that sat on the couch between himself and Orion.

"These look like water runes" Orion offered examining the markings on the egg.

"Well plenty of time to figure that out, in the meantime however, Dobby" the little elf perked up "Plan an expedition to the Chamber of Secrets. There's a thousand year old basilisk just laying down there dead and going to waste. I have a few ideas on what to do with some of it but I am open to suggestions on what to do with the rest."

"Dobby shall make plans Harry Potter sirs."

"Good, in the meantime I have about a half dozen other things I need to do and not nearly as much time as I'd like to do them in" he said with a heavy sigh.

"Anything I can do to help" asked Orion.

"If you think you're up to it, see if you can't track down that damn Chimera, see where it sleeps where it hunts and such. The direct approach has already failed so we're going to have to try the indirect approach and for that I'm going to need to know its habits."

"I'll see what I can do" said Orion.

"Good" Harry nodded "then I think that's all, meeting adjourned so let's get to it."


	18. Calm before the storm

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 17 – Calm before the storm

…

"So, the good news, we have made it past the first task with minimal fuss."

"Ha, minimal fuss she says" Isolda said scornfully "you call all that yelling and shouting minimal fuss."

"I say the other headmasters are just jealous" stated Rhiannon firmly before turning a sly eye to Furiko "and you were worried."

"I was not, what are you talking about, worried, I wasn't worried" Furiko rambled whilst blushing terribly in embarrassment.

"Regardless" said Kimberly trying to move things along "despite their best efforts the score stands and Harry moves on."

"Talk about sore losers I mean really" groused Heather "and they call Harry a cheater when they throw those scores at him."

"Though to be fair the scores from the other three judges did even things out mostly" Xanthe offered nervously.

"At any rate, now that the first task is behind us we need to start focusing on the next big event" said Kimberly.

"The second task?" Naoko thought out loud.

"The Yule ball, which the champions must open, with their dates" said Kimberly.

The temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees as the various girls felt their possessiveness start to rise as they eyed what they considered their most likely competition.

"As such I believe if this is going to work, none of us can be Harry's date."

"WHAT!" everyone shouted.

"You're out of your mind" shouted Isolda.

"That's not fair" whined Naoko.

"It's perfectly fair" Kimberly shouted over the protests "Harry needs a date but if he chooses one of us over the others we'll try and sabotage each other and don't try and act like you won't, any of you."

"I wouldn't" Naoko insisted weakly "much."

"So what if he asks us we tell him no, just like that" demanded Rhiannon.

"Or you could find another date before he asks you" offered Kimberly "otherwise make up an excuse, anything but you tell him no. We all have to agree on this or we'll bring the whole castle down fighting about it and that's not going to help Harry one bit."

All of them looked a bit guilty at the mention of Harry, as was the intent.

"Fine, no one gets to be Harry's date" said Isolda sourly.

"I'm sure he wouldn't have asked me anyway" lamented Ophelia.

"Just as well, my good pearls were going to be at the cleaners that night" everyone looked at the rich girl strangely.

"I… I really didn't want to go to the ball anyway" said Furiko with a very brittle smile that fooled no one.

Rhiannon shook her head "I'm sure he can save at least one dance for you."

"So we're all agreed" a series of nods confirmed their ascent "good then we'll meet back here after the new year to start working on the next phase of keep Harry alive."

…

"Alright is that the last one?"

"Dobby believes it is."

"Winky is most grateful."

"I'd say that makes three of us" said a tired and dirty Harry "who knew this would take so long?"

"Dobby did."

"Winky too."

Harry just sighed "yeah alright so I was being overly optimistic" he admitted "at any rate now that we have it all we need to store it. I've already told you what parts I wanted."

"Dobby be putting those aside for Harry Potter sirs."

"Winky knows of best broker for rest of big snake."

"Good, good then I will leave it in your capable hands, I have an alchemy project I need to get started but first" he said with a disgusted look "I need to go take a shower, maybe two, then burn these cloths."

And with that said he strode out of Myrtle's lavatory and headed for Gryffindor tower.

It was disgusting, the innards of the snake that is. Much to his surprise even after more than a year decomposition had yet to even begin. It really was amazing while at the same time being completely disgusting. He wasn't sure if the innards of a basilisk were toxic but given his immunity to poison thanks to his previous encounter with the beast it didn't much matter, to him anyway.

"Mr. Potter" a familiar voice called.

Harry stopped, turned and would you know there was Professor McGonagall coming his way. He shouldn't have been surprised since he had missed transfiguration because of his over optimism.

"Afternoon Professor" he greeted genially.

"Good afternoon, we missed you in transfiguration" she said in her standard stern teacher voice.

"Yeah about that, I had planned to be there but my little expedition took longer than I had originally anticipated" he couldn't lie very well so there was really no point in trying.

"Expedition to where exactly?" the Professor inquired with genuine curiosity.

"The Chamber of Secrets" he said waiting to see if she'd ask him why.

"I see" was all she said as she gave him a good look over "I suppose it's of little consequence, we were simply continuing our practice of switching spells which you have already proven yourself more than proficient in."

"Good to know I didn't miss anything" he said.

"As it so happens it was not your class attendance that had me seek you out."

"Oh" well this couldn't be good.

"It is a minor tournament related affair."

Ah crap! "I see."

"You needn't look so serious, they haven't decided to throw you to the lions or anything like that" she said with a jovial little smirk "I've simply to inform you that the champions will be opening the first dance at the Yule ball, which means you will be required to attend and you will need a date."

It took considerable effort for the old witch not to burst out laughing at young wizards horrified expression. If she were being honest it was these moments she lived for.

"I thought you said they weren't going to throw me to lions" he protested.


	19. Only the best

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 18 – Only the best

…

Harry paced the common room like a caged animal. A date, an honest to god date, how was he supposed to get one of those. Did the crazy old witch not understand what she was asking him to do. No, no she understood, he could tell from her expression she was enjoying his suffering.

"Something wrong Harry?" asked Neville who had watched his fellow Gryffindor pace for the past ten minutes.

"Neville if I ever find the person responsible for wrangling me into this stupid tournament…" Harry growled followed by several very angry gestures Neville was left to interpret.

"So what brought this on?" He asked confused as to why Harry would be getting all bent out of shape now.

"Professor McGonagall has informed me, while practically laughing in my face, that I am expected to open the ball with the other champions and in order to do so I must have a date."

"Kay" said Neville now more confused than ever "and the problem is?"

"Oh sure you can say that, you've had a date since the other schools arrived" Harry complained "and as far as I can tell she's only the normal type of female crazy."

"I think I should take some offense at that."

Harry's head snapped to the back of the chair Neville was facing. Walking up to it he discovered that yes, Paris was sitting in it looking far to amused for his liking.

"Paris is here, of course she is, why wouldn't she be?" he groused.

"Where else would I be?" she asked coyly "but that's enough about me, let's talk about you, it is much more entertaining."

"I am so glad my misery amuses you" Harry snarked petulantly.

The French girl merely smiled as she lay down her book and hopped to her feet "you are making this all so much harder than it really is."

"Is that a fact?" said Harry in moody disbelief.

"It is" she replied ignoring his sour tone "unless you are a coward?"

"Excuse me" Harry may have been many things but he'd never been accused of that "perhaps you weren't watching the other day when I stepped into the ring with a dragon."

"I saw, it is not really so impressive" she said pretending she was not amused by his look of utter shock "the dragon could only kill you, you are a man who does not fear such things, you fear rejection."

Harry stepped back as though he'd been slapped. This girl he barely knew seemed to know a great deal about him.

"That's a rather bold statement" he countered trying to regain his footing.

"It is true, many men are like this. Death is an easy thing compared to a broken heart" she gave an insufferable smirk "men may rule the world, but women rule the men."

Harry watched the irritating little woman saunter over to her boyfriend and plop herself down in his lap.

"You are an insufferable obnoxious little female do you know that?" Harry said angrily.

"Yes" she replied far to smugly "now run along, the longer you wait the harder it will be."

Properly dismissed he watched the superior little pest proceed to ignore him by snogging her hapless boyfriend like he wasn't standing there watching. With no reason to remain Harry stalked out of the tower.

Scared of rejection was he? Okay yes he was scared of rejection but she didn't have to say it out loud. He'd show her. He'd ask the first girl he came across she'd say yes and he'd have his date for the ball. Nothing to it. He'd just have to make sure the first girl he came across was one of the girls he knew liked him.

…

"Unbelievable" he muttered to himself as he trudged down the hall.

He'd been wrong. So, so very wrong. He'd asked the first girl he'd come across who happened to be Zuli only to be gently turned down. Apparently Lee Jordan had already asked her. But it didn't stop there. Serena had been next and she'd given some incoherent story he still didn't understand but the jist of it was, no.

Not to be deterred he asked Furiko then Rhiannon then Madysonne. If he'd been a more paranoid sort he would have begun to think there was some kind of plot to keep him from finding a date. He kept on asking yet again and again and again he was denied.

Now he was trudging down the hall, his sense of self-worth all but gone. And here all this time he'd thought these girls liked him. Clearly he had been reading the situation wrong.

"Hello Harry."

"Huh" he said stupidly looking up from the floor to see a familiar face "so your talking to me again?"

She gave him a queer look "why wouldn't I be talking to you?"

It was then Harry noticed the color of her tie "Oh Helen, I'm sorry I mistook you for Hermione there for a second."

"Why isn't Hermione talking to you?" she asked.

"I told her a truth about House Elves that she didn't like and now she barely even looks at me anymore" he said with a sigh.

"Huh, well that's her loss I suppose, you are rather nice to look at" she said with an impish grin.

"Yeah well you must be the only girl in the castle who thinks so" he said with a sad smile.

"What makes you say that?" since she clearly knew better.

"I just spent the last hour and a half trying to get a date to the Yule ball and I've been turned down by every single girl I've asked" he said the weight of that rejection evident on his face.

"I'm so sorry" please don't ask me, please don't ask me she chanted in her head knowing she would have to say no as well.

"Say, you're a girl" he observed with a hint of hope.

Dammit she thought "well spotted Mr. Potter."

"No that's not what I mean, I mean of course you're a girl anybody can see that I just…" he stopped himself as he realized he was starting to ramble.

"Harry I…" she started to say.

"Wait, let me start over" he said taking her hands and getting down on one knee "Helen Granger, would you do me the great honor of accompanying me to the Yule ball."

Oh shit she thought. He was asking her, he was on his knees, he was holding her hands which honestly felt really nice. No, she couldn't, the other girls would kill her… still.

Lost in thought she made the mistake of looking into his eyes and that was it.

"Okay" she whispered.

"Really?" he asked daring to hope.

She nodded "yeah."

His smile could have lit a room "You won't be disappointed, I promise" he said and being seized by impulse proceeded to kiss the already blushing Granger causing her to turn cherry red.

And there she stood well after Harry had skipped away practically singing. That was where the others found her. She looked at their disapproving stares and tried to come up with a logical argument to explain her actions. She couldn't.

"I was weak!" she cried.


	20. Preening

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 19 – Preening

…

Snow, it was magical. Even in a school whose very purpose was the teaching of magic there was just something about snow that inspired the imagination in a way dank dungeons and bubbling cauldrons never could. Case and point, Harry was building a snowman.

It was about ten feet tall but currently laying on its back as Harry drew the necessary runes that would animate the ten-foot approximation of a man. In truth Harry was building a golem. It was like building a snow man but this one would be able to throw snow balls not just catch them. Harry cackled a little as he imagined the look on Fred and George face when he came strolling up to their little snow ball fight with this.

"Good morning Mr. Potter."

Harry looked up to a surprise "Good morning Headmaster" he greeted back "what brings you out here this morning."

"Just returning from a bit of time with my brother" he said strolling up to the snow construction project "it's important to spend time with family while we still have them."

"I'll take your word on that sir" said Harry not letting his absence of family get him down.

"And what might you be up to on this fine and lovely day" the old man inquired while admiring the reclining snow person.

"Just preparing a little surprise for Fred and George" said Harry with a mischievous glint.

"I see" said the old man with twinkle in his eye "well just be sure you're not out too late, remember the ball is this evening."

"Yes sir" said Harry with less enthusiasm.

"I imagine the ladies will all be disappearing after lunch to begin their preparations."

"Why would it take them that long just to get dressed?"

The old wizard smiled "even at my age I'm afraid I cannot give a satisfactory answer to that question."

…

"You're sure you're not annoyed with me?"

Isolda looked at her subordinate quizzically "why on earth would I be annoyed with you?"

"Because I'm going to the dance with Harry" Helen replied trying not to look at the Slytherin girl directly.

"Oh that. On the contrary really there was never a chance Harry was going to ask me, they'd have strung him up by his balls if he dared to date a Slytherin you know that."

"I suppose" she was totally right but she was still nervous.

"Actually it's kind of a boost to me 'you' going with him with you being 'my' subordinate and all. It's like I was going to the dance with Harry myself."

"Okay you're not make me feel any safer you know" Helen nearly squeaked.

"Oh relax, if I was going to do something to you I'd have done it already" the 'evil' girl said.

"Where are we going?" Helen asked not yet convinced.

"To get you ready, we've got a lot of work to do so I enlisted some help."

…

"Heather, Yarrow what are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious, we're helping" said Heather.

"But why would you want to help me, you've both been glaring at me since you found out I was Harry's date."

"In the grand scheme of things it's probably the best outcome for the situation" said Yarrow.

"Neither of us is even going to the ball" said Heather "I told Harry I was going home over the holiday."

"I told him there would be grave misfortune if I went with him, and there would have been, for me" said Yarrow.

"Given the circumstances we can't really blame you for caving, so just for tonight" said Heather.

"Since we can't be the belle of the ball ourselves" said Yarrow.

"We choose to live vicariously through you" finished Heather while Yarrow held up a crystal ball for emphasis.

"I… I don't know what to say" said Helen genuinely touched.

"Don't say anything" said Isolda "just sit down in the chair so we can get to work."

…

"Hey Nev."

"Hey Harry."

"No Paris" Harry observed.

"She went to get ready for the ball" Neville explained.

"Like every other girl in the castle" said Harry "what could they possibly be doing that takes so long."

"If we were meant to know that we'd have been born girls" said Neville sagely.

"Wise words Nev, wise words."

…

"I cannot believe you are still carrying on with that little boy."

"Jealous Fleur?" said Paris snidely.

"Jealous, if I wanted your little boy I would take him and there is nothing you could do to stop me" said the French champion angrily gripping her hairbrush.

"I would not need to" said Paris calmly "my Neville is more man than any of the boys you have ever known."

"Shall we prove that?" the Veela girl nearly snarled.

"Why, do you still not have your own date for the ball. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised."

The other girls watched the by play afraid they may have to pull their champion off the other girl at any moment.

…

"Furiko would you stop fussing, this is hard enough already."

"I've changed my mind, I'm not going" declared Furiko.

"That's what you said five minutes ago then two minutes later you changed your mind" said Rhiannon.

"I mean it this time" Furiko insisted.

"No you don't" said Rhiannon as she deftly applied the last touch of makeup. "You'll go, you'll dance, you might even have a good time."

"I won't, I know I won't" she exclaimed nearly in tears.

"If you start crying now you'll smudge your makeup and Harry will never be able to look at you again" said Rhiannon.

Furiko gasped and made the most hilarious looking face as she tried to keep her tears in. Honestly Rhiannon thought, she could not wait for this night to be over.

…

"Harry, I'm nervous."

Harry looked at the timid boy oddly "Why? Of all the people I've seen today I should think you have the least reason to be nervous."

"Yeah but, what if I do something stupid, what if I make a fool of myself?"

"Everyone will laugh at you" said Harry honestly.

"Harry" the other boy whined.

"Well it's true, people will point and laugh and then about five minutes later they'll have all forgotten about it, worst case scenario."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Well to put it bluntly you're not me" said Harry "There's only one person who's going to have their eyes on you tonight and she is so positively over the moon about you I doubt there's anything you can do that would change her mind about that."

"You really think so?" Neville asked blushing.

"I may be no expert on women but there is nothing subtle about how into you that girl is. Trust me mate."

"Thanks Harry."

"Any time. Now I believe we've waited long enough. Time to go see all the pretty birds and pick ours up."


	21. All the pretty birds pt 1

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 20 – All the pretty birds pt. 1

…

Waiting was always the hardest thing to do, especially for someone like Harry. Neville and Paris had already gone into the great hall, leaving Harry to wait while other couples and even a number of lone students filed in. The only saving grace is that he wasn't alone.

The other champions were present as well, Cedric with his date Cho, Fleur with her date, some bloke from Ravenclaw whose name he couldn't remember. And then there was Victor who like himself was still awaiting his date.

And then they arrived. The looks on their faces were absolutely priceless.

"Unbelievable" Hermione said as she stared at her no longer look alike.

That's not to say Helen had made some sort of massive metamorphosis, she'd just dropped about ten pounds' worth of hair.

"You know jealousy is an ugly color darling" said Helen with a superior smile.

Leaving her sister in blue glaring at her back the Ravenclaw sister currently in a magnificent crimson evening dress and gossamer white shawl made her way down the stairs to her date.

"Helen" he greeted simply if only because his brain was having trouble forming complex thoughts.

"Harry" she purred taking his offered hand.

"Trading houses tonight are we" he managed to take hold of his thoughts again.

"Well, it does fit me doesn't it" she said batting her eyes.

"It most certainly does" Harry agreed momentarily distracted by the seductive creature on his arm.

She smiled at him "you're staring Harry."

"I refuse to apologize for that" he said regaining his equilibrium "you are well worth a stare or two if I do say so myself."

Now it was Helen's turn to blush and look nervous "Thank you" she whispered whilst snuggling up closer to him.

With little further ado the champions were lined up and marched into the great hall to the hushed whispers and not so hushed whispers of its occupants. Harry was largely oblivious to this for once given the majority of his attention was on only one person and she was much more deserving of his attention.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who thinks your worth a stare or two" said Harry as the two walked past the gawking crowd.

"Stop it" she protested her cheeks turning red as her dress.

He chuckled as he led her to the table, holding out her chair like a proper gentleman and paying little attention to the fact Percy was there and not Crouch. Of course Percy hadn't said all that much either given his close proximity to Fleur who Harry noticed seemed to have her aura turned up a bit more than usual.

He ignored it easily largely thanks to one of Kimberly's experiments he'd managed to survive the previous year. He wasn't entirely sure what it was supposed to do, since he was pretty sure it didn't do what she claimed it was going to, but on the plus side he'd had much less trouble with the dementors afterward and could shrug off even the most powerful veelas aura like it was nothing. Something he'd had the chance to learn that summer with Sirius.

"Well, so far so good, we made it to the table on nothing's tried to kill us yet" he quipped as he picked up the menu on his plate.

"If it were anyone else saying that I'd call you ridiculous" said Helen "but since it's you I expect some vicious beast to come along at some point in the near future."

"I wouldn't worry about that too much" said Harry.

"Oh?" she gave him a questioning look.

"If one does you'll see what I mean" he said mysteriously.

"So you think you can keep secrets from 'me' do you Mr. Potter?" she gave him a playful scowl.

"Hmm" he just smiled back innocently.

"Not talking eh? Well I have ways of making you talk" she said running her finger up and down his arm.

Taking her playful finger along with the rest of her hand he placed a kiss on the back of it that set her to blushing yet again "There will be time for that later, darling" he added as an afterthought.

The effect was pronounced as a faint blush turned into full on cherry, "Oh, you" she said before hiding in her menu.

Harry smiled, he liked this game, especially when he was winning.

…

"Now would our champions and their companions please take the floor for the first dance."

"You ready?" Harry asked.

"I don't know" she said coyly "are my feet going to regret this?"

"Only one way to find out" he said offering her his hand.

Not typically used to such chivalrous gestures she continued to be taken out of her comfort zone but that didn't stop her from taking the hand.

Leading her out onto the floor Harry took his free arm and wrapped it around her waist drawing her in close. Close enough to see she was still blushing.

"Your blushing Harry" she said with a cheeky grin.

"So are you" he replied with his own.

The music began and as one they moved floating across the floor like they'd done it a thousand times. Helen, being the inquisitive girl that she was curious at this despite the elation of living out all of her princess fantasy's.

"Where did you learn to dance?"

"After you agreed to be my date I snuck out the next weekend to see Sirius and his um, special friend" he said with a wink which made her giggle "I spent the whole weekend doing this over and over and over again till I was sick of it."

"Still sick of it?" asked Helen with an adorable pout.

"Well the new partner may have changed my opinion" he allowed giving her a smile which made her heart practically leap out of her chest.

It wasn't long till others began to make their way to the dance floor. Soon the great hall was full of shuffling feet and twirling skirts. It was like something out of an old time fairytale.

Meanwhile at the edge of the forbidden forest a man made of snow knelt in stillness. He had fulfilled his orders and now without further instruction he waited. From within the forest a pair of eyes glowed in the darkness, marking the man of snow whilst being inexorably drawn toward the castle. The lights and the smell of food motivating it beyond its territory.

A massive tongue rolled over a mouth full of dagger like teeth. Soon it would feed, soon it would be warm, but first it had to deal with the snowman. It gave a low growl in anticipation.


	22. All the pretty birds pt 2

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 21 – All the pretty birds pt. 2

…

The ball was in full swing as the Weird sisters played for their enthusiastic young audience. Notably absent from the dance floor was Harry Potter and his date. Harry had taken a seat at the edge of the dance floor while Helen was nowhere in sight. Of course since he was alone that was an indication to some that he required company.

"So scar head, couldn't get a real date so you had to bring Granger?"

Harry looked up at Draco Malfoy with a casual disdain. The little shit wasn't even worth getting angry at, not when he was having such a pleasant evening.

"Who knew the little mud blood would clean up so well."

Harry again said nothing. He didn't want to give the pathetic little scab the indication he cared to talk to him.

"So where is she then, run off and abandon you for being such a poor date."

"Who's a poor date" asked Helen coming up from behind Draco and giving the smarmy git a fright.

Harry smiled, as much at her return as the effect it had on Malfoy "I missed you."

"Really Harry, I was only gone five minutes" she said pleased none the less.

"Felt like forever" he said reaching an arm around her waist and guiding her away from the sullen Malfoy.

"Really Harry you keep saying things like that a girl might start getting ideas" she said biting her lower lip in that cute way she was prone to.

"We wouldn't want that would we?" he said giving her a knowing look.

She couldn't resist a giggle "so what did Malfoy want."

"To remind me he's still alive and wasting perfectly good air" said Harry with a shake of his head "just running his mouth as usual."

"One of these days that's going to get him in trouble" said Helen.

"We can only hope."

Harry led Helen out into the garden that had been set up for the Yule Ball. It was a beautiful night. The sky was clear with the stars shining overhead. It was a picture perfect moment, or it would have been if not for the sound of two people rutting in one of the rose bushes.

"Honestly, they couldn't have found somewhere better to do that?" said Helen with more than a hint of annoyance.

Harry meant to voice his agreement but he never got the chance. A roar, faint but still distinct, reached his ears and he turned in the direction of its origin.

"I know that roar" he said.

"Harry?" Helen had heard it as well but did not recognize it.

Harry was about to tell her when Hagrid came jogging toward them "Harry" he said spotting the two students.

"You heard it too?" Harry asked the half giant.

Hagrid nodded "could a picked a better time."

"Harry what is it?" Helen insisted.

"Chimera" said Harry "it's been roaming the forbidden forest since the beginning of the semester. From the sound of that roar it finally decided to come meet the neighbors."

"Need to tell the Headmaster" said Hagrid.

Harry shook his head "that'll just start a panic" he said "remember the troll my first year."

"I do" said Helen giving his arm a squeeze.

"Come on Hagrid, we can handle this" said Harry with a commanding tone that brooked no debate.

And the half giant didn't "Aye, let's go."

"Agrid" madam Maxine called as she came strolling up.

"Olympe, let Headmaster Dumbledore know we're taking care of it would ye?"

"Be careful Agrid" she said.

The massive man nodded then followed after Harry and Helen.

"You sure you want to be doing this" Harry asked his date "especially in heels."

To answer his question, she pulled her wand out from between her breasts and performed a quick modification to her outfit. Her heels lost their heels and the skirt of her dress morphed into a pair of poofy pants.

"Better" she asked with an innocent smile.

"How did I not notice you carrying that?" he thought out loud.

"Potter, Granger" a gruff voice interrupted them.

"Professor Moody" said Harry while Helen simply nodded.

"Reckon we're all headed the same place" the disfigured man said as he thumped along beside them "Hagrid."

"Alastor" Hagrid returned the greeting.

"So, what're we up against?"

"Chimera" said Harry.

"Blood hell" Moody cursed.

"Have you fought a chimera Professor."

"Aye, not something I recommend" he said gruffly.

"I've actually been meaning to deal with it for months but then this whole tournament thing got dropped on me and I kept putting it off" Harry said "serves me right for procrastinating."

"That's mighty dangerous Arry" Hagrid said "what were ya planning to do once ya caught up with it."

"Exactly what we're going to do now" he said "so here's the plan."

…

A golem is not a terribly intelligent sort of thing. They are often created for a specific purpose and any activity outside that purpose is typically beyond them. As such it didn't surprise Harry all that much when they came upon the Chimera to find it being held at bay by his snow golem who was pelting the beast with snowballs.

Although pelting may not have been the best word, it was really more like an all-out assault given the size and force of the projectiles. Though the Chimera had clearly gotten the better of Harry's little snow toy at one point since it was already missing one arm from the elbow down but that didn't seem to have slowed it down much.

"Alright we all know what to do?" a round of nods was his only reply "then let's go."

Harry peeled off from the others as he went to set up the trap, pulling four new cards from his sleeve, each one identical.

Hermione led the assault with a blinding flash that startled the Chimera but didn't even phase the snow golem. Moody followed with a string of curses, most of which slid off the beast's hide like water. They didn't do much but they did get its attention. Then it was Hagrid's turn, being the least magically inclined he did what you'd expect a man of his size to do, he tackled it.

Clocking the lion head he managed to knock it on its side only to be assailed by the serpent on the tail. He was saved however when Helen shot a strange sticky substance at its head, preventing it from getting its fangs into the half giant. Momentarily distracted the Chimera came back strong body checking Hagrid aside.

It followed this with the goat head expelling a massive gout of flame. It was only Harry's warning about its ability to do this that saved the two spell casters as both shifted a massive wall of snow into the path of the blast. Their wall was melted in mere moments but it had the desired effect.

Then Harry was there, bounding over the beast like some crazy snow monkey, swinging his staff into the goat head hard as he flew over.

The entire chimera staggered and Harry landed already turning to face it "push it back" he shouted.

The golem was the first to obey charging forward and throwing its weight against the chimera. The three headed monster fought to find a grip as the mighty man of snow pushed it back foot by foot. At last its hind claws found purchase and the battle of force drew to a stalemate.

Moody came in slinging curses at the beasts unprotected flank which it took umbrage at. Shifting its weight is used its new angle to knock the golem in between it and Moody. Not giving the frozen water man a chance he followed this up with a tackling lunge which sent the snow man flying through the air to land right on top of Moody. The force of the attack combined with the landing was enough to break the remaining runes that kept it alive and the man of snow became nothing more than a pile of snow.

Turning toward the two remaining it was assailed by the sound of a thousand fireworks going off right next to its sensitive lion ears. It thrashed and flailed as it tried to back away from the auditory onslaught but by then it was too late. It never saw the small light that flashed when it stepped into place but it quickly became aware of the chains that shot up from nowhere to bind its legs.

The Chimera struggled with all its might by the chains prevented it from using the full limit of its strength as they were not anchored to a physical place and much too strong to be broken.

Helen ceased her attack turning to Harry "Okay, now what?"

Harry pulled an odd dish from his pocket followed by a card which he placed on the dish "Now we put this bad boy to bed."

Harry began a low chant and a series of circles and runes became visible on the dish. Taking it in one hand he threw it like a discus over top of the chimera. The dish stopped over the beast and turned face down. A shining mystical circle appeared around the chimera which began to fight its binds in earnest. Harry stepped up to the circle, his chant growing louder. The circles grew brighter and brighter as the chimera appeared to fight some sort of invisible force.

In the end thought it was to no avail. With a final defiant roar, the chimera became a brilliant flash then dissolved into motes of light. The moats were then sucked up into the dish where the card was now gently glowing. Its task completed the dish floated to the ground. The chains that had bound the chimera had already vanished.

Harry walked up to the dish taking the card from its back and looking at the image now emblazoned upon it "nice."

"Ehem" Helen ehemed with an expectant hand on her hip.

"What?" Harry asked kneeling down to pick up the dish.

"Isn't there something you'd like to tell me?" she asked expectantly.

A lightbulb went on in Harry's head "of course" he said pocketing his things and walking up to her "you were magnificent" and before she could protest he snatched up her lips and held them.

Helen went stock still, her wand slipping from her hand. Her entire body was on fire. Then he pulled away and she found herself leaning after him.

"Can you do me a favor and get Moody out of that snow bank while I check on Hagrid" he said.

As he walked away she gave him a look of such longing yet still managed to say "that's not what you were supposed to tell me."

A shiver of desire ran through her body and she almost chased after him but she didn't, she was better than that. Mustering her will she picked up her wand and went to drag her unconscious professor out of the snow.

It was a simple task really, a few flicks of the wand and the snow rolled off him. It did however knock his flask loose. Bending down to retrieve it Helen looked at it curiously. People had been wondering what he kept in it since the beginning of term. Popping the lid she gave a quick sniff. It was not what she expected as her mind flashed to her days as a Hermione brewing a potion much too advanced for her age in order to sneak into the Slytherin common room.

She looked at her professor with new eyes as she closed the lid over the flask. This would require further investigation, immediately.

…

"Wake up Hagrid."

The half giant groaned, slowly coming around. As Harry knelt down next to his friend he noticed something that caught his attention. Maybe he was just still keyed up from the fight or maybe it was just fate that he spotted the peculiar little insect caught in Hagrid's hair.

It was an odd looking bug for sure. Certainly the wrong time of year to be seeing insects. It was something deeper however, something in its aura that told Harry this was no common bug. Waving his hand over it he cast a powerful sleep on it then plucked it from Hagrid's hair and placed it safely in his pocket.

…

"Harry, I'm going to take Moody up to the hospital wing."

"I'm going to stay here till Hagrid comes round" he said standing up to see her off.

"I had fun tonight Harry" she said shyly, his kiss still fresh in her memory.

"We'll have to do it again some time" he said tempted to kiss her again but distracted by his discovery.

She just nodded nervously "well, good night" she said the began walking back to the castle with Moody floating along behind her.

Passing Hagrid's hut, she paused a moment. Something tugged at the edge of her senses. Eventually she shook her head and went on her way, she had more pressing matters to attend to.

Waiting till she was out of sight a shadow moved revealing first a shapely leg, a well curved hip then all the rest of Fleur Delacour. She smiled a predatory smile.

"Zo, it would seem ze little boy is more man than I thought" she mused aloud as she watched her fellow champion talking to the now conscious half giant "how very interesting."


	23. Invader

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 22 – Invader

…

"For real?"

"Are you serious?"

"Called it."

"That is so wrong."

"Did he really kiss you?"

All present turned to Naoko in aggravation.

"Naoko, please focus" said Helen.

"I am focused" she insisted.

"Yeah, on Harry" quipped Rhiannon.

"So?" Naoko retorted.

"You are suck a twit" Isolda said with a snort "that aside, just how much did you learn?"

"More than I really wanted to know" said Helen "He's the one who put Harry's name in the Goblet of Fire, he's planning to aid Harry through the next two tasks if need be just so Harry is the first one to reach the cup at the end. That's where things get really bad."

"How bad?" asked Lorraina.

"The cup will be a portkey that will take Harry to Voldemort. Harry will then be used in a ritual to give Voldemort a new body."

"That's bad, very bad" Ophelia whispered.

"Or it would be if we didn't now know about it" said Heather from her spot next to Yarrow.

"She's right" Yarrow spoke up "now that we know we can prepare a contingency."

"Where's Moody now?" Isolda asked.

"I erased his memory of our little conversation and left him in the hospital wing" she said "he'll wake up never realizing he made a brief detour between the snowbank and the hospital bed."

"Why don't we just turn him over to the authorities?" said Naoko voicing the obvious question.

"Because they'll just bung things up like they always do" said Isolda derisively.

"The idea that Voldemort might still be around will have them scurrying to cover the whole thing up, at least if Fudge has anything to say about it" said Helen with a scowl.

"You speak from experience?" Furiko asked.

"It happened last year with Sirius Black, what a mess" she said.

"But a productive mess wouldn't you agree" said Yarrow with a knowing look.

Isolda filed the look and Helen's reaction away for a later time "so, what do we do then."

"For now there's not much we can do" said Helen "we're still months away from the final event but we'll definitely need to let the others know at the next meeting."

All nodded at this.

"In the meantime we have another problem" said Yarrow taking out her crystal ball.

"What other problem?" asked Helen who wasn't sure she really wanted to know.

"It would seem a certain Veela champion followed you this evening to your little bout with the chimera."

"So she saw us fight a chimera?" it was hardly the weirdest thing they'd dealt with at Hogwarts.

"More importantly she saw Harry fight the chimera" Yarrow said scowling at what she saw in the crystal.

"You don't mean?" Said Furiko afraid to even say it out loud.

"It would appear we have a new competitor in the game for Harry's affection" said Yarrow

"Well… bugger."

…

She was beautiful, she knew this. She was the desire of all men and the envy of all women. She was Veela, physical perfection, everything a man could ever dream of having. Fleur Delacour was all these things and she knew it. What she didn't know was how the annoying little boy could simply keep ignoring her.

It had been three days since she had decided to pursue Harry Potter and in those three days she hadn't been able to get him to so much as glance in her direction. It was ridiculous. Even gay men found her attractive, how did he not?

Apparently he would require a more direct approach. Something overtly blatant, something he could have no way of misunderstanding.

…

"Ello Arry."

"Hello Fleur" Harry replied giving the female champion an odd look.

"I have been meaning to ask you, have you figured out the clue yet?" she batted her eye lashes flirtatiously.

"Not yet, have you?" he asked pointedly ignoring her flirtatious advances.

"Oh yes, weeks ago" she fibbed, she'd only figured it out just the previous day "It was very easy, Cedric was kind enough to give me the password to the Prefects bath, once I realized it had to be put in the water."

"Really?" He said showing a slight interest.

'Gotcha' she thought.

…

"Okay she is clearly up to something" said Isolda "I know a plotter when I see one and that girl was plotting earlier."

"So what do we do? It's not like we can follow her around with all those other girls she'll catch us" said Helen.

"It's not her we need to follow" said Isolda "she's after Harry, so we follow Harry."

"He'll catch us even faster" said Ophelia gloomily.

"Then we recruit someone he won't catch" said Isolda with an evil smile.

"Who?" the other two girls asked.

…

"Dobby" Harry called.

"Yes Harry Potter sirs" the elf said upon appearing.

"How is our guest doing?" Harry asked with a devilish grin.

"Nasty bug lady is still alive and not in big croaky toad's stomach" said Dobby with a touch of a grin as well.

"Think she's ready to be more reasonable now?"

"Dobby think if she not we find smaller jar and bigger toads" the little elf replied.

"Let's find out shall we?"

The elf nodded and vanished only to return a moment later with a small jar with tiny air holes. The holes were in fact too tiny for the bug inside to escape through.

"Let her out" Harry said drawing his wand.

Dobby opened the jar and tapped the little insect out. With a single sharp gesture, the small bug grew into a full sized woman. Said woman lay on the floor panting for some time sounding like she'd just run a marathon. The truth was actually much worse.

"So Rita, how have you enjoyed our hospitality?" asked Harry with a much too friendly smile.

"You, your insane" she cried looking at him with fearful tear streaked eyes.

"You were the one who didn't want to be reasonable" Harry countered.

"You can't do this, you're the boy-who-lived" she shouted in a panic.

Harry's expression turned dark at this "no Rita, I am not the boy-who-lived" he said in a near growl "the boy who lived is a fairytale fiction, a storybook character nothing more. I am Harry Potter and Harry Potter is nothing like the boy-who-lived."

Rita stared at the terrifying man before her and took his words to heart. This was no bed time story hero. This was a very real very dangerous man. She would do what he said, whatever he said, because she knew if she didn't he'd put her back in the box with the toads without the jar to protect her this time.


	24. Night in the bath

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 23 – Night in the bath

…

It was a trap, he should have realized it from the beginning. It was such an obvious set up. Why would she give him the information unless she wanted something? She wouldn't because she did want something she just wasn't going to tell him till he was in no position to refuse her.

The evening had started out so well too. He'd gone up to the prefect baths well after everyone else had gone to bed. He could have done it in his own private bath in his hidden room but since he had the password he figured, why not. He'd heard rumors about the prefect baths and he was curious to see if any of them were true.

They were.

Baths the size of swimming pools with dozens of pipes keeping the water nice and steamy. In a way it looked like a waterpark, not that Harry would know what a waterpark looked like.

Setting his egg down he set his towel aside and slowly slid into the water. It was magnificent. His own bath was a step up from the ones in the tower but this was on a whole other level. He found himself just lazily soaking without any thoughts as to why he was there.

Eventually though his thoughts did drift back to the egg and he lowered it carefully into the water before letting it open. Holding his glasses above the water he dipped his head under the surface and listened. He managed to hold his breath long enough to listen to the recording twice all the way through before he had to come up for air.

"So, seems like I'll be taking a dip in the lake" he said to himself.

"Zo it would seem."

Harry froze, scared to even turn around as though not looking would mean she wasn't really there.

"Ello Arry" she cooed.

SHIT! "Good evening Fleur" he replied frantically looking for an escape route.

"Eet is so nice to see you this evening" she said in a playful tone, as though it weren't totally planned.

"Yeah, fancy seeing you up here" he said weakly deciding he'd have to leave the egg.

"But you aven't seen me yet Arry" she purred sending shivers into parts of Harry he rather wished he didn't have at that moment "would you like to?"

Oh sweet Merlin have mercy, he begged but to no avail. Even the rising clouds of steam couldn't hide his reaction much longer. He may have been able to shrug off her aura like it was nothing but there was no denying she was a stellar example of the female form.

"Arry" the sound of the towel hitting the ground confirmed that yes she was now naked and he was royally boned.

It was at that moment that the steam clouds that had been slowly forming erupted in earnest. In a matter of moments the entire room was filled with steam like a thick English fog. It was so thick you couldn't see two feet in front of you with any clarity.

Fleur just tittered "ze boy, ee as no self-control."

Harry of course not knowing from whence his salvation had come was none the less using it to put distance between himself and the overly sexual female.

"Arry" she called playfully as she reached the edge of the pool.

He wasn't there but the ripples were still splashing against the side meaning he hadn't yet gotten out of the water.

"I am coming for you Arry" she sang as she pranced along the side of the pool.

Reaching the far side Harry cautiously slid himself out of the water. He was nearly holding his breath as he stood every droplet resounding in his ears like percussion. Unsure of his position he waited tense for her to call again.

"Arry, where are you?" he focused on the direction and turned to go in the opposite.

"Arry, oh" she stopped when her foot hit something wet.

She knelt down to examine and found a roughly person sized puddle. She smiled, her quarry was on the loose.

Momentarily she turned to the readers and said "Ee is ze shy one, no?" and with a shrug she continued her pursuit.

A wall, that was what Harry had found. In his flight from Fleur he had come to a wall. This was both bad and good. Good because if he followed it long enough he would eventually find the door. Bad because if she caught up to him it would severely hamper his escape options.

Something moved in the fog, an indistinct shape moving the mist. Harry thought he caught a hint of a feminine sound and that was enough. Placing his hand on the wall he began following it in the opposite direction. The sooner he found the door the sooner he could get away from that crazy woman.

"Come out, come out Arry. Arry?" she called.

It was a fun little game. She grew more and more excited the closer she came to her prize. He would make a fine trophy for her to hang off of for a time and who knew, if he was any good she might just keep him. Of course she would be the one in charge of their relationship, that would have to be established from the beginning but she was confident once she was done with him tonight that would be no problem.

A hint of motion and a swirl in the mist. Yes, she had him. The fog kept moving but he remained just out of sight.

"Why do you run my darling, when you know you want me to catch you" she resisted a wicked cackle, no sense frightening him off.

The mist parted a bit and she saw him. He was a barely distinguishable outline but it didn't matter, she had him. She snuck a few inches closer then leapt.

"Got you" she said as she wrapped her arms around him in a flying glomp.

Her momentum carried her right through she shadowy silhouette and into the pool of water below. It was hot water and she came up sputtering, looking around for her lost quarry.

"My but you French girls are forward" giggle a voice above her.

She looked up see a ghost in Hogwarts robes and a pair of glasses smirking down at her.

"Le mew, Le meow, Le rrrrrrrrrow" Myrtle mocked.

Cackling like a maniac the ghost dove into the water and vanished. On cue the fog thinned and then vanished altogether. Harry was nowhere in sight. Fleur huffed in frustration.

"Run while you can Arry because when I catch you, you shall be mine" she, Fleur Delacour, vowed it.


	25. Time for a swim

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 24 – Time for a swim

…

Scotland in February was cold. Whatever moron thought a task in the lake in February was a good idea needed to be taken out and beaten. That was Harry's opinion anyway. He considered the various forms of maiming to inflict as he casually strolled down to the dock that morning, the last of the champions to arrive.

His three competitors were already there. The two boys were looking out at the water while Fleur was standing waiting for him. By the way she was standing it was clear she was trying to draw attention. By the way most of the male audience was staring it was working.

"Cute swimsuit" he said as he walked past her.

"It was not my first choice" she said turning to follow him "but Madam would not let me wear my bikini."

"Probably for the best" Harry said looking out over the frigid lake.

"What's wrong Harry, afraid of the water?" asked Cedric of course referring to the fact Harry was without swimwear.

"I just chose to think 'outside' the box, that's all" Harry replied with a confident smirk.

"Good, good now that everyone's here I'm sure your wondering what it is we've taken from you that you'll be retrieving" said Bagman with far too much enthusiasm for a kidnapper.

Oh Harry knew what they'd taken. And if he ever found out who's idea it was they were going to mysteriously disappear. It was one thing to force the competitors into dangerous situations but it was something else entirely to do it to people who hadn't agreed to be put through the meat grinder.

"So, everyone at the edge of the dock" shouted Bagman.

The champions gathered at the edge of the dock. Three leaned forward while the fourth stood nonchalant.

"Ready, and, go!"

Three splashes immediately followed this order while Harry calmly removed his cloak. Without a care he threw it into the water. Upon landing on the surface of the lake the cloak took shape, becoming rigid and taking on the form of a small boat albeit one still made out of cloth. Harry casually popped down into his cloak craft and with a quick flick of the wand took off out into the water.

The boat slowed as it reached the center of the lake and Harry moved on to phase two of his plan. Taking a pair of wooden cubes form his pocket he dropped them into the water on either side of his boat. He then lay down in his boat.

As he waited the cubes began to conjure up a thick fog. It wasn't half an hour later he felt it was almost thick enough when he noticed a commotion on the dock. A pair of merman were throwing something up on it. After a moment that something moved, revealing itself to be Fleur.

"Well that's not good" better speed things up he decided.

Giving the two wooden cubes in the water a spin to accelerate the process he began to prepare as the fog quickly began to grow and thicken. He pulled a necklace with a small stone tablet from inside his cloths. Given that it needed to touch water to activate it wouldn't have done him any good to leave it inside since he placed powerful water repelling charms on his cloths that morning.

With that done he pulled two cards, one he'd acquired the previous summer, the other a more recent creation.

[Rogue of the Loch]

From on shore a few of the spectators would swear they saw a head poke out above the fog bank but all of them heard the beasts furious cry. It sent a shiver down many a spine.

[Bridle of Obedience]

They had never figured out what had sent the overlarge kelpie into a fury which was why Harry had ultimately had to capture like he had. This of course meant summoning it in the exact same condition. He knew this, hence with a little direction from his alchemy teacher he had come up with a work around.

The bridle calmed the kelpie but Harry could still see the fury in its gaze. It would obey but that didn't mean it would like it. That was fine.

Hopping onto its back and grasping the reigns Harry commanded "down" and the kelpie dove.

A bubble appeared over his head the moment his talisman necklace hit the water. The kelpie swam at a furious pace and with four flippers it was the wildest ride Harry had ever been on. If he hadn't stuck his feet to the kelpies back he would have been thrown off almost immediately.

They came to the underwater village in short order and to his surprise his fellow competitors were already there. Cedric had used a bubblehead charm, basic, but Victor had apparently morphed his head into that of a shark, good for him.

The Victor shark had just disconnected his hostage from the statue when Harry arrived which caused Cedric to miss with his spell as he saw the massive beast Harry was riding. Harry waved, ignored the merman as they panicked and fled then left his kelpie to come free his own hostage. Helen floated lifeless in the water and next to her a small girl in the robes of the French school.

This must have been Fleur's hostage he thought. It was a moments work to free them both but a bit more than that to bring them back to his ride. Sticking them to the kelpie's back as well he gave a tug of the reigns and the willful water horse took off weaving through the water to the surface.

They came out in a thick, near impenetrable fog. The girls coming to life as they broke the surface. Both were soaked and cold as Harry piled them into his little cloak boat. Both were staring at the kelpie as he dismissed it back to the ether. Both started talking at the exact same time as he plucked his fog boxes from the water and set his little boat toward the dock.

He just sat there and smiled.


	26. Walk the dog

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 25 – Walk the dog

…

A Hogsmeade trip was a rare treat. Time away from the castle. Time away from the teachers. Time to just relax. Even Harry with so many things he wanted to be working on could appreciate the down time. Of course it would have been much better if there wasn't a hungry Veela stalking him. He'd spent a good hour or better since coming into the village dodging her with limited success.

It seemed like every time he thought he'd lost her some other girl would pop up and start talking to him which would naturally draw her attention. He was beginning to wonder if they weren't doing it on purpose.

He'd just slipped past Paris and Neville snogging and ducked into a small alley when he came upon a surprise. A large black dog, the grim, stood staring at him with expectant eyes.

"Snuffles?" Harry asked.

The dog's entire demeanor changed as it barked happily and began to wiggle about in delight. Harry laughed at the over excited over sized puppy. Kneeling down he indulged the old mutt by letting him lick his face while scratching his head and telling him what a good boy he was. After a few moments however, certain they were alone he became serious.

"Did you come alone?" Harry whispered.

The dog shook its head and whined.

"Is she nearby?"

He barked and wagged his tail.

"Alright, just let me change and we can get going."

Glancing around one last time to make sure he wasn't being watched Harry shrunk from full sized wizard to cute and cuddly mascot. The flying squirrel climbed aboard the scraggly looking dog and with one last checking the coast was clear they were off.

Given the general attitude of wizards the flying squirrel riding the dog didn't so much as draw a second glance from the people of Hogsmeade. Advantageous for mount and rider as they headed on out of the village and into the hills.

It was a short trip by dog to the little cave. An attractive woman sat on a blanket next to a picnic basket as they strolled all nonchalant, just a flying squirrel out for a dog ride. The woman smiled then giggled as the approached.

"There's never a camera around when you need one" she said.

The flying squirrel hopped off his mount and as one the two animals became two men. The woman rose to greet them with great enthusiasm.

"Harry" she squealed as she flung herself at the young man.

"Natalie" Harry said catching the flying woman while his dogfather stood there and snickered.

"It feels like forever since I saw you" she exaggerated "how have you been, give me all the details."

"Well, where do I even start?" Harry wondered aloud.

…

"So she's still not talking to you?" said Natalie.

"Nope" affirmed Harry "the girl can certainly hold a grudge."

"Just because you told her the truth about house elves" said Sirius shaking his head.

"Unfortunately the truth challenged her very rigid worldview and since it only came from me and not a teacher she doesn't have to accept it" said Harry taking a bite of his last sandwich.

"What about the other one, what did they call her um…"

"Helen, Helen is the other Hermione" Harry clarified "and its actually best not to even think of her as a Hermione. Apart from their endless drive to learn EVERYTHING, they're really nothing alike."

"Crazy, I mean considering" said Sirius.

"Yeah I know, it's just one of those things I've gotten used to" said Harry.

"And what about your other friend um, Ron?" asked Natalie.

"Well I told you how he got all bent out of shape after my name came out of the cup, and up till the dragon he was just being a right berk. Since then he's been kind of hovering around trying to talk to me I think. I usually ignore him or leave the room when he does it."

"Not gonna take 'im back?" asked Sirius.

"Honestly, I've actually been a lot more mellow since I got away from him despite this whole tournament thing hanging over my head. Sad as it may sound I think the only reason I latched onto him in the first place is because he shared my compartment on the train to Hogwarts my first year. I was pretty desperate back then."

"Yeah" said Sirius with a dark look.

"Oh relax Padfoot, I got over it. Really in some ways this tournament is the best thing that could have happened to me this year. You wouldn't believe what I've gotten out of it."

"So when is the last task of this miserable fiasco?" Sirius asked not yet over his mood.

"Not sure. They haven't told us yet but I'm not overly concerned. If it's as easy as the last two were."

"Ha, easy he says" quipped Natalie giving Sirius a gentle elbow "I wasn't aware dealing with dragons was considered easy."

"Or going for a dip in the middle of February in Scotland" added Sirius.

"Well sure not for normal people. But we all know that is one thing I am not."

"Oh indeed" Sirius nodded.

"Never met someone more 'ab' normal in all my life" agreed Natalie.

"Very cute" Harry retorted his sour expression only making them laugh "well if you two are just going to make fun of me I'm going back to the castle."

"It is getting to be about that time" said Sirius catching his godson's drift.

"Oh but we didn't even tell him about our plans for the summer" Natalie protested.

"We have plans for the summer?" this genuinely surprised Harry.

Sirius nodded "Cycling tour of Italy" he declared grandly.

"Hey, that could be fun" he'd need to learn how to ride a bicycle of course but he could do that.

"Thought you might like that" said Sirius pulling a small box from his pocket "here, start practicing now so you won't crap out too fast when we do it for real."

"I assume it's just shrunken inside the box" said Harry given the container was about the size of a matchbox… actually it was a matchbox he realized upon closer inspection.

"The manuals with it in case you need to fix anything. Just don't try riding it down the stairs, not a good idea."

Harry looked at his adult role model "speaking from experience are we?"

"Never you mind" Sirius replied very pointedly not looking him in the eye.

"Right, well on that note" he said standing to leave.

"Oh Harry just one thing what with that Veela chasing you and all" said Sirius looking mildly guilty "you still have the um, ring I gave you right?"

"It's in my pocket" said Harry trying very hard not to look at his godfather.

"What ring?" Natalie asked innocently.

"Well must be off, can't stay out too long wouldn't want to get detention see you when school lets out" Harry rambled as he walked away very quickly.

"What ring?" Natalie asked the man that hadn't escaped.

"Um, well…" Sirius had the decency to look ashamed before he whispered in her ear.

Natalie turned bright red "Oh. You naughty boy" she said swatting her boyfriend.

"Just making sure the lads prepared" Sirius said in his defense.

"Oh really, and were you this prepared when you were his age?"

Sirius pointedly refused to look at her.


	27. Wisdom of the ages

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 26 – Wisdom of the ages

…

Riding a bike was not so hard. It was just a matter of balance, Harry could balance. Move your feet and don't fall over, simple. Harry had found it was also rather fun as he pedaled his shiny new bike up and down the halls of Hogwarts early in the morning before anyone else was awake. It was awesome.

To be fair he had long since given up on his great ambition of being normal some time ago. That said, it didn't mean he couldn't enjoy a simple mundane activity like riding a bike once and a while.

He was just turning down yet another hall when who should he see but the infamous Headmaster of Hogwarts.

"Professor Dumbledore, good morning" he said coming to a stop in front of the old man.

"Good morning Mr. Potter, out rather early, aren't we?" the old man with the twinkle observed.

"I could say the same to you sir" Harry replied not the least bit put off or intimidated by the famous and venerable wizard before him.

"At my age, a few hours is a good night" said Dumbledore with a chuckle.

"Hmm, something to look forward to I suppose" Harry joked.

The mysterious old man just smiled "since we're both up, might I have a moment of your time Harry?"

"Of course sir" Oh boy, vague hint and pointless platitude time Harry thought.

"I'm glad to see you doing so well in the tournament Harry."

"Thank you, sir."

"I must admit I was concerned when your name came out of the cup like it did. Can't stay out of trouble can we Harry?" The old man gave a knowing smile.

"Well you know" Harry said vaguely.

"Professor McGonagall says you are doing well" actually she'd said he could pass his NEWT's but the old man saw no reason to stroke the boy's ego too much "and Professor Snape… well."

"Is Professor Snape" said Harry, summarizing his feelings on the man.

"Well I suppose there's no way around it is there" the venerable wizard said.

"Why do you keep him here, he obviously hates teaching, hates children, hates me in particular."

"Severus has had a difficult past" Dumbledore said making excuses.

"All the more reason not to allow him around children" Harry argued.

"Perhaps but I ask you to trust my judgement in this matter" the old man said clearly not caring for the direction the conversation was taking.

"As you say sir" said Harry.

Not a chance in hell, thought Harry.

Deciding to throw the boy a bone "you may be pleased to know we will be hiring on another teacher next term, including any we may have to replace by the end of the semester."

"Oh?" was the boys cagey reply.

"I've received numerous petitions, some of them very 'strongly' worded imploring that I reinstate the music program."

"You don't say" that pleased Harry greatly.

"Indeed, ever since you managed to lull a dragon to sleep people have been demanding to know why that sort of thing isn't taught at Hogwarts."

Harry stifled a snicker at the old man's obvious discomfort. Hogwarts had taught him a great many things and had more teachers than just the ones on staff. Of course, he didn't really expect all the students to be as gung ho about their education as he was. Most student's lives didn't depend on it, not in the short term at least.

"I've had numerous applicants, hopefully I can have it whittled down to two by the time classes begin in the fall."

"Two sir?"

"I suspect there will be far too many students interested for just one teacher to handle them all" said Dumbledore.

Then why do all the other classes only have a single teacher Harry thought but didn't voice "I look forward to it."

Dumbledore nodded "that's for the fall though, we still have the entire summer ahead of us, any plans" the old man inquired 'subtly'.

"I think this should suffice" said Harry holding up his bike.

"Ah, it's been many years since I rode a bicycle, though they looked a bit different I will confess" he said playing up his age by squinting at the newish looking device.

"I imagine they work mostly the same" Harry said "but I should probably get going, need to get this put away before the halls start filling up."

"Of course, of course, have a pleasant morning Mr. Potter" said the aged Headmaster as the young man rode away.

"Well, that was an entirely pointless conversation" Harry muttered to himself as he rode away.

"Hmm, I feel like I got off track from where I wanted to go with that conversation" Dumbledore mumbled to himself as he meandered through the hall.

Ah it was no matter, he'd have time later. Clearly the boy was finding ways to idle away his time, that was good. It didn't suit Dumbledore's plans for him to be too prepared. And given his performance in the tournament thus far that seemed to be the case.

Ah it was no matter. Come summer he'd be back on Privet Drive and far away from anything magical. He may have felt a little guilty but he comforted himself with the knowledge that it was all for the greater good. Yes, anything could be permitted for the greater good he thought as he wandered through the empty halls of 'his' school.


	28. Truth and lies

Fun with Mary Sue  
Chapter – 27 Truth and Lies

…

Urgency, that's what it was. As he walked to the Quidditch pitch to hear about the final task of the tournament he felt no sense of urgency, none. When his name had first come out of the cup he'd been upset, a little worried, but mostly annoyed. He'd felt as though all the things he wanted to do that year would now be impossible. In the end, he had been wrong.

The tournament had been little more than a few momentary diversions, some of which he'd even enjoyed. But now that it was coming to an end he felt nothing. He knew he could win. The other champions were good for what they were but he was on an entirely different level. For a moment, he wondered if this was how the girls felt.

Was this what it felt like to be one of those stupidly powerful people surrounded by the average and mediocre. Was this how they ultimately felt about him. Perhaps his perception was just tilted. He didn't know and probably never would.

Harry walked out onto the pitch to see he was the last to arrive. Cedric and Victor gave him a nod while Fleur gave him a coy little wave. Honestly who did she think she was fooling.

"Ah Mr. Potter, glad you could join us" said Ludo Bagman with far too much enthusiasm for Harry's liking.

Harry wasn't really paying attention to him though, he was far more interested in what had happened to the pitch.

"I see you've spotted your final task" the ministry official observed.

"Maze" said Victor succinctly.

"Indeed so. They don't look like much now but they ought to be big enough by the time the task rolls around."

So, a race through the maze Harry mused. He could have laughed. His animagus form alone could easily circumvent such an obstacle. His mind ran through all the ways he could overcome a hedge maze as he wandered back to the castle. It was he introspective state of mind that ultimately led to his collision.

"Oh, sorry about that, wasn't looking where I was going" he said before getting a good look at the person he'd run into.

To his surprise, it was Barty Crouch. He hadn't seen the man since after the first task. Judging by his appearance it was hardly a surprise, the man looked an absolute wreck. Upon seeing Harry, he began babbling incoherently. Harry thought he caught several words but nothing strung together that could make any sense.

Knowing the risk, he decided to try something. He'd mastered the internal part of the mental arts to aid in his retention of information early the previous year but the external part, reading another mind had not been something he'd been able to practice. At least not with a mind with thoughts more complex than 'food', or in Hedwig's case 'bacon'.

Still there was no other way he was going to understand the man and he only seemed to grow more desperate with each passing moment.

Grabbing him by the head, forcing the man to look him in the eye he commanded "show me."

And he was in. He remembered the instructions from what he'd read on the art and did his best to navigate the incoherent jumble of sounds and images. Fortunately, there were a number that kept repeating as they were clearly what the man himself was focused on.

Harry withdrew. His own mind racing with the implications of what he'd seen. Crouch too seemed to have been affected as he knelt there panting but he seemed less erratic. Perhaps the mental invasion had jarred something back into place.

"Now what's all this then."

Both men looked up to see the gnarled twisted face of Alastor Moody looking down at them. This would certainly complicate things.

…

"Order, order."

"I'll have a tuna on rye."

Kimberly glared at Isolda who just smirked back.

"We need to be making plans, the third task is barely a week from now" she insisted.

"Harry has waltzed through this entire tournament, what could they possibly throw at him now that would be any sort of real challenge" Isolda stated clearly bored.

"It isn't just the task, it's Moody and what he plans on doing. You do remember he's not really who he claims to be?" stated Kimberly like she was talking to a small child.

"Yes, yes working for the big bad boogey man Voldemort. Please, I am so unimpressed."

"Will you still be unimpressed when they find Harry dead because we just stood by and watched?"

Isolda had no answer for that so she settled on looking at the other girl sourly, pretending all the others in the room weren't staring at her as well.

"Like I was saying, we need a plan…" she started but was abruptly cut off as the door swung open.

"What a coincidence, I happen to have one."

Every girl in the room gasped. There standing silhouetted by the sun was Harry. A familiar cat was riding on his shoulder.

"Orion, you snitched on me" Naoko cried.

"How could I snitch on you, I wasn't even supposed to know about your little conclave" the cat retorted causing his mistress to look a bit sheepish.

"Yes, and boy was I surprised to hear about it" said Harry shutting the door behind him as he walked around the table, "all my favorite girls, together, plotting against me" he said with a shake of his head.

"Ha, if we were plotting against you we'd already have you" Isolda declared.

"Really?" said Harry walking up to the girl and gently taking her by the chin "is that what you want Isolda, to have me?"

The 'evil' Slytherin girl blushed crimson completely unable to speak.

Harry grinned as he released her, looking up at the girl across the table "et tu Helen."

The other Hermione had the good manners to look at least slightly ashamed "it's really not what you think" she stammered as all the blood rushed to her face.

Harry ignored her justification and proceeded to the head of the table. Kimberly blushed but stepped aside without a fight.

"I'm not going to ask what this is, I don't really care" Harry said addressing the table "that said, I'm sure you all deserve a good spanking for it anyway."

"Ooo, sounds fun" said Rhiannon with a grin.

Harry rolled his eyes and pressed on "In some ways this is actually fortuitous since I wasn't sure how I was going to get you all in the same room. But now I don't have to, you've done it for me."

"And why did you want us all in the same room?" it was Zuli who posed the question.

"Because I need your help" this statement shocked them all "certain things have recently come to light such as the identity of the person who entered me into the tournament and their reason for doing so."

"Um, uh, we know" said Helen ashamed.

"Yes, I know, I could hear you through the door" he said "and wouldn't you know it as the lot of you were discussing plans I already have one, isn't that lucky."

None of them were fooled by his false cheerfulness, they could tell he was annoyed with them.

"We just wanted to help, we…" Kimberly mumbled.

"I know" Harry said caressing her cheek "and you will."

Turning from the blissed-out girl he turned to the others at the table "this plan has too many moving pieces, to many characters who need to be in certain places at certain times for me to do this alone, especially since I will be indispose through most of this in order to bring all the players to the table."

"What can we do?" asked Heather.

Harry smiled, it was not a friendly expression "I'll tell you."


	29. Into the labyrinth

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 28 – Into the labyrinth

…

Any soldier will tell you it's those moments before the battle starts that are the hardest. The waiting, the wondering. Will I make it? Will this be the one that finally gets me? Harry understood this, he was going through it even as he walked out onto the quidditch pitch for the third task. The plan was made, everyone and everything was in place. And yet the thought refused to leave him, what if something goes wrong.

Off in the crowd he saw a few unfamiliar faces. The one standing next to Susan Bones he presumed was Amelia Bones, the director of magical law enforcement. The ones standing around her he presumed to be her personal auror escort. There were some familiar faces too, Rita Skeeter for example, just as she'd been ordered.

All these extra people were there for a reason. Unfortunately, none of them knew that which meant he had to trust they would perform their parts when the time came. He didn't like that but it was out of his hands. He'd tweaked his plan several times but no matter how many times he did there was no way to be in control of all the pieces. He didn't like that but he had accepted it.

Out on the pitch his fellow champions awaited him. For a moment he wondered if they all got there early just so he would feel late. It didn't really matter since this would be the last time. Fleur was the first to spot him and as usual put on her sexiest smile before she approached him.

"Arry" she purred.

"Fleur" he said neutrally.

"I 'ave something for you" she said.

Before he could ask what, she had him by the head and then her lips were pressed against his. She was not gentle, nor was she without skill. It lasted only a few moments but the things she did in those few moments were fantastic.

"For luck" she said after releasing him.

She then sauntered away ignoring the whistles and catcalls as Harry stood their trying to get his brain to reboot. A sudden surge of violent intent from a certain section of the crowd did the trick and he hazarded a quick glance to see several unhappy females glaring at him.

He could only hope they weren't mad enough to not do their part when things started going down.

"SILENCE!" Dumbledore boomed.

Right, time to get on with it Harry thought.

…

"Is he in?"

Kimberly peered through her telescope from the north tower. She watched as Harry entered the hedge maze alongside Cedric then part ways immediately. She then watched him vanish from her sight.

"He's in" she said "I give it twenty minutes before we see his signal vanish" she continued holding up a small compact mirror with a mini map of the quidditch pitch and a small pink dot moving around on it.

"Good, I am itching for this fight" said Isolda "can you imagine what this will do for my credit."

"Not much since you'll never be able to tell anyone" said Ophelia gloomily.

Isolda scowled "you really can just suck the joy out of anything, can't you?"

The gloomy girl shrugged and otherwise sat there looking morose and miserable.

"I'm kinda with Isolda here" said Rhiannon "I haven't had a good fight since those ninja's back in September."

"Ninjas?" Heather asked confused.

"From a rival clan" explained Furiko "they were here to kill me."

"So we killed them first" said Rhiannon with a grin "Harry was with us for that one."

"This sounds much more interesting than watching the hedges blow in the wind" said Helen "so come on, details."

…

Harry raced through the hedges at a startling speed. Squirrels are want to do that after all. He had decided not to waste time with anything fancy. He needed to get to that cup before any of the others. Who knew what might happen if one of them showed up instead of him. He didn't really care to ponder on it.

In his animagus form he easily circumvented not only the obstacles but the walls as well. Scampering over or even through them was a simple thing and his incredibly acute hearing warned him of potential dangers well before he saw them. The Blast ended Skrewt was easily evaded. The sphinx never even noticed him. The acromantula was the only problem, forcing him back into his human form to deal with it.

Fortunately the giant spider was the final obstacle. He saw the cup. He wasted no time and before anything could go wrong it was in his hand. The hook under the navel was expected as the portkey activated and he was carried far away from Hogwarts.

…

"It's happening" shouted Kimberly interrupting a riveting tale "his signal just disappeared."

"So what are we waiting for?" asked Rhiannon "let's go."

"Alright, you all know the plan?" Kimberly asked.

"We know the plan let's just go" declared Isolda activating her portkey.

Kimberly gave an exasperated sigh but followed suit. The others all followed leaving those that remained to make sure all the others were in place when they returned. The plan was in motion, the final act of the triwizard tournament was about to unfold.


	30. A walk among the tombstones

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 29 – A walk among the tombstones

…

Harry awoke in an uncomfortable position. He was tied to a large statue which, given the lumps, was likely a female. Down below him a massive snake slithered around the base of the grave marker before wandering off elsewhere.

Have to find that later, Harry thought.

A short distance away a very familiar rat animagus was busily preparing a massive cauldron, setting fire wood beneath it while some strange disfigured infant cursed orders at him. It only took him a moment to realize just what or more appropriately who that disfigured infant was. He couldn't resist a chuckle.

Of course, this drew their attention "I wouldn't think a man in your position would find much to laugh about Potter" the infant hissed at him.

If anything, this just made him laugh harder "Tom it's been so long, have you lost weight" he quipped.

"Glib Potter" the baby thing hissed "we'll see if you're still so glib when this is all over."

Indeed we shall, Harry thought.

…

"Can you see them?"

Kimberly surveyed the scene "yeah, I see them. Short lumpy fella by the cauldron. Harry's tied to that ugly statue."

"So, where's the boss then?"

Kimberly shook her head, peering closer she saw something wrapped up like a baby that kept rocking back and forth "looks like they've got a baby down there" she said zooming in a bit till it turned just so and she got a look at its face "ew, that has got to be the ugliest baby ever."

"That's him" said Helen "fake Moody said his master was diminished."

"That is pretty diminished" agreed Rhiannon "so why are we waiting?"

"Yes, Harry is in danger we should apprehend the two fools and get him down" said Furiko gripping her sword tightly.

"We wait" said Isolda.

"We should go now" said Ophelia nervously.

"We wait" reiterated Kimberly "we're not just here for these two."

"Not that I doubt Harry" said Heather "but are we sure he'll do what we think he's going to do?"

"Of all people, Harry knows Voldemort best" said Helen "If he says he won't kill him without an audience to see it I believe him."

"It's what I'd do" Isolda agreed.

"Shhh, the lumpy guy just lit the fire, their starting" Kimberly shushed.

…

"Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken" Harry resisted a wince as the knife pierced his skin and Pettigrew hobbled back to the cauldron.

With the final component added the concoction turned a sickly color then began to morph and change. Moments later the most feared dark lord in a generation stood naked before him.

Oh, lord was he an ugly bastard.

"Hey Wormtail, looks like you bunged something up" said Harry smirking at the sniveling little man.

Even as the quivering coward threw a robe around his master's shoulders Harry watched. Things were going exactly as planned. He only hoped it was going as well back at Hogwarts.

…

"Dammit we need to get through this crowd" said Zuli as she tried in vain to push through the mass of bodies that had flooded the field when the hedges had come down to reveal one of the champions missing.

"I can't change here" complained Serena as she was jostled back and forth.

"I can see Amelia Bones" said Xanthe who was squished between a pair of upper year students.

"Where's Moody?" asked Lorraina.

"I wouldn't worry about it" said Yarrow drawing all the other girl's attention.

"What do you mean?" asked Serena.

"Things are about to resolve themselves without any intervention from us" she said with a smug grin.

A collective gasp from the crowd drew their attention again and with a little work they were able to spot Amelia Bones standing over the unconscious form of Alastor Moody.

"What happened?" exclaimed Xanthe.

"It would seem Ms. Bones knows her friends better than Dumbledore knows his" said Yarrow calmly watching things unfold within her crystal ball.

…

"Ah my friends" Harry watched the 'magnanimous' dark lord go around to his assembled followers chastising them for abandoning him.

It was kind of funny especially when he came to Lucius Malfoy. Harry wasn't buying the man's bullshit and he could tell Voldemort wasn't either. It was almost time.

…

"Now?" asked Furiko nervously.

"Not yet" said Kimberly "we have to wait till they untie him and, oh, wait. He's down, aaaand, wand is in hand."

"Alright then, let's get this started" said Isolda giving Heather a knowing look.

Heather nodded and pointed her little umbrella at the ground. A thick fog began to roll down the hill gaining height and speed as it went.

"And to make sure our guests don't leave early" said Kimberly pulling an odd-looking contraption and setting it on the ground "now let's get this party started."

…

"First we must bow to one another" said the dark lord.

Harry just looked at him, the man that Britain so feared.

"I'm not going to bow to you Tom" he said "and I'm not going to fight you either."

"Then you wish to simply die then?" said the dark lord ignoring for a moment the use of his wretched muggle name.

"No Tom, I'm going to live and so are you, after a fashion" said Harry with a casual gesture "them on the other hand, they're all going to die."

The deatheaters were given no time for denial's or snide remarks as a monstrous fog overtook them. They panicked, unaccustomed to being on the receiving end of a surprise attack.

"Potter" Voldemort growled as spells began to fly all around them and the screams of pain were mixed by the mad cackling of unseen witches.

"Over here Tom" a voice called out.

"You will pay for this" the dark lord shouted "I will not be denied."

"You've already taken far more from me than you deserve" Harry called back "but don't worry, you won't be denied. You fear death above all else and have done terrible things to avoid it."

The dark lord flinched, just how much did he know.

"Be at peace Tom, when we're through here you will live forever, or at least as long as the card survives."

Before he could demand an explanation, his wrists and ankles were clasped in manacles. To his shame the surprise of it caused him to drop his wand. Struggle as he might he could not free himself and any attempt to apparate failed. Then he appeared, casually strolling through the fog like there wasn't a battle raging all around him.

"It's over Tom" he said pulling an odd dish from his pocket "and this time it's going to stay over."

…

People were still milling about the quidditch pitch even as the aurors went about their investigation into what had happened. Everything stopped however when Harry came crashing down onto the pitch with another person in tow and the cup in his hand.

Dozens of people rushed him wanting to be the first to hear what happened but it was Amelia Bones who pushed through them all.

"Mr. Potter."

"Hello" he said cheerfully.

"I'm Amelia Bones, director of magical law enforcement" she introduced.

"Oh, stellar" he said rolling his passenger on his back "then I can hand this over to you then."

"And who might this be?" she asked eyeing the man suspiciously.

"May I introduce Peter Pettigrew, deatheater, animagus, betrayer of my family and coconspirator in this little mess we find ourselves in."

"Is that so?" the woman now eyed the unconscious man like a cat might eye a mouse "just what have you been up to Mr. Potter."

"Well let me tell ya, it's quite a story."


	31. Going forward

Fun with Mary sue  
Chapter 30 – Going forward

…

"Harry, you okay?"

Harry looked at his timid friend through half lidded eyes "Neville, these women are going to be the death of me."

"What happened?" he asked naively.

"You know that thing you and Paris like to do that you don't think anyone else knows you do?"

"Uh… yeah" he replied blushing bright as a cherry.

"That, all night, with all of them" he seemed to deflate a little more with each statement.

"Geez, trying to rebuild the family in a single generation Harry?" it said a lot about his personal progress that he could make such a joke.

"Ha, not with this" said Harry holding up a black ring too large for a human finger "though I wish I knew why it turned black."

It took Neville a moment to realize what he was looking at "that's a mistress ring" he said.

"Yeah that's what Sirius called it" Harry agreed.

"When did it turn black like that?" he asked.

"Shortly after I took it off, just after I stumbled out of the room this morning" said Harry.

"You burned it out" said Neville.

"You can do that?" Harry was surprised.

"Usually it takes years" said Neville, maybe a little impressed.

"Uugh, it feels like it was years" Harry complained sinking fully boneless into his seat on the Hogwarts express.

Neville just shook his head and chuckled "Only you Harry."

"Yeah ain't I just fuckin special" he groused from his horizontal position on the seat.

"It's funny actually, at first I thought it might have something to do with all those people you've been talking to."

Harry just grinned. He'd been grilled by so many people after his return from the graveyard he'd lost track of them all. It had been no easy thing remaining sufficiently vague with his descriptions so as not to give away what had actually happened. He was pretty sure Amelia Bones knew he wasn't being entirely truthful. But it she wasn't going to say anything then neither was he. And now he was on his way, he'd meet Sirius and Natalie at the train station and they'd be off for Italy.

Harry twitched his nose. He felt it again and momentarily opened his eyes to see what was irritating his sinus. Looking back at him was a very familiar looking bug.

"Aw dammit what do you want?"

The little bug flew into the open spot on the adjoining seat and turned back into Rita Skeeter "I don't suppose the truth is too much to ask."

"Uh, Harry, did I just…"

"No, you didn't imagine it" Harry assured groaning as he pushed himself back up into a sitting position "must we really do this now Rita?"

"Aw, all tuckered out from your night of debauchery" she teased.

"One word of that makes it into the paper and they'll never find your body" he said though far less intimidating than he wanted it to be.

"Oh, you're no fun" she protested "fine then, on to business."

He hated doing it but he did it anyway. That was the deal after all. Rita would get her story, at least what he was willing to tell. He'd never tell her of course exactly what he'd done. He'd never tell her who had been there. He'd never tell of the final fate of Lord stupid anagram.

This was the end of that chapter in his life and as soon as she was gone he would go about the business of starting the next one. After he'd slept for a couple days that is.


	32. afterword

Fun with Mary sue

Afterword

…

I would just like to take this opportunity to apologize for this incredibly lack luster piece of work. Being honest I lost interest in the idea about a third of the way through.

Next one will be much better. Promise.

Until then thanks for reading.


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